You know what they say about politicians and the promises they make? They say something similar about rules too!
With that in mind, I wasn’t expecting too much to come of Juluis Malema’s boast that “some of us” would be camping out in the Western Cape to win back the Metro for the ANC, which it lost quite convincingly to the Democratic Alliance in the last elections. However it did accur to me that this dumbass was crazy enough to actually pull such a stunt.
So while one would have expected Malema to have spent the week shopping at Outdoor Warehouse or some similar place for a tent and other camping essentials, we were informed that he was indeed in Cape Town over the weekend, notably without a backpack and hiking boots. In fact, camping was far from his mind as he joined another degenerate to celebrate the pre-opening of his posh nighclub.
And then they waded into a storm. Apparently the nightclub owner, Kenny Kunene has a penchant for eating sushi off the bodies of half-naked women. And Malema has a penchant for talking absolute rubbish. That combination created a little stir which the ANC tried to wash over, rather unconvincingly, it must be said.
While pondering what to write about this whole saga, editor of the Mail & Gaurdian Chris Roper helped me out with aplomb:
Yes, yes, I know. “We didn’t struggle to be poor.” Absolutely. No question. If there’s one thing democracy guarantees, it’s that to the victors go the spoils. Except, of course, most people in this country apparently did struggle to be poor — although at least they’re free and poor. And in a country where the average monthly income per struggle hero is around R3 375, we need as much free as we can get.
As Penny Punani, the famous entrepreneur and feminist, plaintively says when people complain about Kenny Kunene sucking fish off a babe’s body while pouring bubbly into her bek, “Why is it that white people didn’t complain when apartheid ministers were chowing wors out of a hot boeremeisie’s cleavage, but now, suddenly, because black people are doing it, it’s wrong? Why?”
Very good point, very good point. Alas, the answer is simple. In apartheid South Africa we were ruled by morons, now we’re not (mostly). In apartheid South Africa, we didn’t have one of the finest constitutions in the world, now we do. In apartheid South Africa, the only women in government were the ones cleaning the spittle and baccy off the floor, now we have actual women ministers. To sum up — and this is going to come as a shock to Kenny Kunene and Julius Malema, the Mutt and Jeff of Japanese cuisine — I think Winnie Mandela, Albertina Sisulu, Helen Suzman, Lindiwe Sisulu and others did in fact struggle to be politically correct.
Catch the whole hilarious article here.