Get Gaddafi!!!

Either Gaddafi has learnt a few things about survival from the Iraqi and Afghanistan conquests, or the USA is just pussyfooting around in Libya.

This prolonged campaign of bombing and bungling by the United States is not doing anyone any good. Why don’t they just get the job done and get the hell out of Libya? This prevarication is becoming tiresome, and the longer it goes on, the more lives that are lost unnecessarily.

Even South African President Jacob Zuma has failed miserably to convince the tyrant of Libya to vacate office, and they’re supposed to be bosom buddies. This is his second or third attempt, two of which required a personal visit to Libya. I wonder why? Something’s just not kosher with these trips, but I suppose only time will reveal the truth.

Will you guys please get Gaddafi so that the world can focus on that other tyrant, Ali Abdullah Saleh of Yemen…while the infighting erupts in Libya.

Please stop killing our rhinos, hunt down our politicians instead

The poaching of rhinos for their horns is reaching alarming proportions; South Africa alone lost 210 thus far this year. The recent spate of arrests in connection with this nauseating decimation of our endangered rhino species, is probably just the tip of the iceberg, as the huge demand from especially China and Vietnam seems to indicate a vast network of low-life scumbags, being involved.

A friend of mine recently commented that the rhino horn is only useful if strapped on. This is a common fallacy, as the rhino horn is ironically in huge demand, not for its aphrodisiac properties, but for its perceived medicinal value, although, it was at one time coveted in Yemen to make ornamental knife handles.

Orientals who believe in the medicinal properties of rhino horn indulge in the same kind of rabid, superstitious, uncritical thinking as Westerners who spend billions on homeopathic remedies. The sooner everyone understands that this shit doesn’t work, and never will, the sooner mankind as a whole can progress to the next level of evolution.

Studies carried out as far back as 1983, have shown that rhino horn has no medicinal value, and is composed of keratin; the same stuff as your fingernails and hair. Scientists have concluded that you would get the same effect from rhino horns as chewing your own fingernails.

So if any of you oriental keratin-crazy fools simply cannot do without your dose of rhino horn shavings, allow me to propose an alternative: why not hunt down all of Africa’s megalomaniacal politicians, pull off their fingernails one by one, and then scalp them too for a tasty aftersnack of hair-balls. I have heard rumors that Robert Mugabe and some of South Africa’s own, have quite exquisite, well-manicured fingernails.

Please spare the rhino and spear the politico…

More of the same at the start of a new year

People the world over look forward to the turn of the year, hoping for a better life and changes that will make the world a better place to live in. People are mostly disappointed as early as the end of the first week when they realize it’s going to be more of the same, or worse.

Thanks to an asshole wannabe terrorist who tried to blow up an American aeroplane over Detroit just before Christmas, international travel is going to be hell for some time to come. And that’s just because the American government, well and truly in paranoid mode again, are going to force the world into beefing up security at all major airports; which means that they are going to probe everyone’s ass for WOAD’s (weapons of aeroplane destruction). This is particularly bad news for anyone of African, Middle-eastern or Eastern origin; you just know that you’re going to be perved at very intensely by the airport security and customs officials. Worse still; now that there is American scrutiny on Yemen, it’s going to be very hard to get the Americans out of the Middle East forever, as everyone dearly wants.

Coming back to that dumb-ass terrorist who not only botched the bombing, but burnt only his own leg (and possibly the family jewels) in the process; he’s now learnt that messing with fundamentalist religious bullshit will only get you burned. Or did he? He’s probably wondering about those 72 disappointed virgins waiting in vain for him in fundamentalist heaven. Hopefully the Americans have incarcerated him alongside Bubba; which should keep his mind fixated on his own ass for a while. If only all suicide bombers were this incompetent, and blew only themselves and a few ugly cars up?

But alas; the recent spate of suicide bombings in Pakistan, Iraq, Afghanistan and elsewhere over the holidays points to this becoming a favoured religious pastime in this new year. Martyrdom has never looked more appealing. It’s pretty much destroying everything in sight (in the Islamic world at least) to become the new religious chic. However, the portability of this fashion trend poses a serious threat to all countries that have already managed to drag themselves out of the bronze age. These religious nut-jobs can export their warped ideological cravings to almost anywhere in the world; no x-ray machines or perverted customs officials can stop them.

How did things get so out of hand? Are we ever going to usher in a new year free from war and terrorism and death and destruction?