To be or not to be… a dictator

While our cricketers were being humbled in the World Cup down under by New Zealand, our President was toying with the idea of becoming a dictator.

If you’re wondering how these two events are connected – they’re not. It’s just that both our President and our cricketers were a major disappointment yesterday, with the former being a permanent one.

While most will have people laughed off Jacob Zuma’s idiotic contemplation, some of us were a tad bit jittery, this being Africa, a continental clusterfuck of downright autocratic and pseudo-democratic governments. Talk here in South Africa of dictatorship by the ruling circus clown should never be taken too lightly.

Zuma may be a giggling, incompetent, lying, corrupt leader who somehow always comes off as likeable to the voting fodder, he harbours a dark side that very few people get to see. I caught a glimpse of it once on television when he was engulfed by a horde of reporters and cameramen, and I recognized it instantly. He is most certainly capable of transforming into a full-blown dictator.

But why would Zuma want to become a dictator, even if for one year as he facetiously “requested” in the South African Local Government Association summit in Midrand? He has everything going for him.

(a) He has this uncanny knack of fooling everyone into thinking they have a fully functioning democracy.

(b) The majority of the voting public being somewhat credulous, are tripping over each other to vote for him.

(c) He has twisted practically every arm of the law and judiciary to serve his every whim and folly.

(d) He can spout utter rubbish and the majority of the people lap it up unquestioningly.

So why? Is it possible that he senses that the tide is turning and that things will no longer be going his way. Are more and more of his former supporters and lap-dogs slowly but surely recognizing what a huge liability he is?

I think so…

Getting and spending…

Just recently I was prompted to write about William Wordsworth’s famous sonnet, The World Is Too Much With Us. I now understand why this particular piece of poetry sticks in my mind.

It has much more significance than the materialist tendencies of man and the destruction of nature. One line in particular stands out for me when it comes to the ugly world of politics:

getting and spending we lay waste our powers…

But when it comes to politicians the line might as well read: getting and spending we lay waste our tax revenues.

And in South Africa, one man stands out like an ugly train-wreck when it comes to gross profligacy. He’s none other than Jacob Zuma, the President [I say the President rather than our, because he does not represent me, nor do I suspect many others as well].

We’d hardly gotten over the fact that he spends upwards of R15-million of our taxpayers money yearly, on his multiple wives and children, when we were forced to accept the cost of the bloated, fuck-useless administration he concocted just to provide employment for an assortment of sycophants and other palm-greasers’. Now we learn that he spent around R17-million of taxpayers money on wining and dining 15 African leaders [term used loosely] before and after the World Cup held here last year. This oozing slime-fest was attended by a veritable who’s who in the despot zoo; Mad Bob and Teodoro leading the display of the worst that Africa offers.

I’m not even factoring in all the other idiotic schemes that Zuma wastes our money on, on a daily basis. This one however is the most galling. To think that my taxes are being lavished on the slime of the universe…aaarrrghh.

This particular act of piracy worked out at about R1-million per Head of State [which included their wives]. Apparently Zuma invited all 53 HOS’s from Africa. Should we be pretending that we were lucky they didn’t all attend? That would have put us out-of-pocket to the tune of R53-million? Perhaps not, because as sure as death and taxes, Zuma has pissed away that saving, somewhere else…

What is even more infuriating however, is that the taxpayer doesn’t seem too concerned with these acts of lunacy. Have we become that numb to government’s extravagant misuse of our taxes?

How dare Paris Hilton’s friend attend a World Cup match with just one joint?

Imagine getting into heaven and all you want to do is sit on a fluffy cloud and play the harp, all day, every day. It’s like having no aspirations to enjoy the fruits of heaven! Pretty soon you’re going to be kicked out; for being such a party-pooper.

Imagine coming to South Africa and attending a World Cup game between the liberal Dutch and the Brazilians who are party animals….with just one joint? What was Jennifer Rovero, Paris Hilton’s one-time Playboy, playmate-friend thinking, coming to criminal-loving South Africa so ill prepared?

This is South Africa after all. We positively love criminals. We give asylum to human-rights violators, dictators, crime bosses, crime families. Hell, we even elect them into power. We love madmen like Mugabe; we allow him slip in and out the country, to shop here at our best, most priciest malls. We allow murderers to report their crime and then slip quietly out of the country, or into obscurity, well protected by our well-greased police force.

How dare you Miss July 1999, have the effrontery to be in possession of one lousy joint? Our Nigerians have truckloads of the stuff; and a lot more besides. They’re allowed to take over, one district at a time, because they have big ambitions and this makes our politicians and top cops lick their lips with glee. And here you come with one freaking joint! You small-time players make us wanna hurl. Not impressive at all. No, no, no.

Is it any wonder our Home Affairs Ministry decided to kick you out, and brand you a prohibited person? That will teach ya; entering our borders all legal and such.

Oh, and since they’ve given you 14 days to leave the country, I suggest you shimmy on up the coast and get some of that famous Durban poison before you leave our crime-infested shores. You won’t regret it; that’s some great shit they have there.

Going Dutch – Could this be Holland’s World Cup?

Some of the more fancied teams have seen their asses being kicked. The stars of the soccer world have performed pretty much below expectations. The favorites to win, Brazil and Spain have not looked very convincing.

Neither has the Netherlands, but something tells me they could go all the way at this World Cup. The first two matches were won – not very easily, but won nonetheless. They don’t have that many superstars in their squad, so we won’t be assaulted with any preening and showmanship from the Dutch. The talent is undeniably there; and it shows signs of erupting magnificently.

Their supporters have shown that they care about far more than just soccer. Their protests against the ridiculous advertising rules imposed by the tournament organizers makes me proud of the nation in orange…. and clogs.

I’m rooting for the Dutch; it’s about time they finally go all the way.