In a true democracy, theft should be legal for everyone, not just the politicians

It’s grossly unfair that I can’t steal with impunity. I mean, South Africa has this wondrous constitution, supposedly one of the best in the world; one which guarantees equal rights to all citizens.

So why is it that only the politicians in the ruling government, and their cohorts have the right to steal, embezzle, defraud and mismanage, with gay abandon, while I, a kind contributor to the fiscus, have to face the wrath of the police? Why should the police protect only the governing elite, while I have to pay their salaries to watch? Isn’t it about time I’m allowed to exercise my rights to compete on an equal footing with the government looters?

Even the police should be allowed to steal (those that are not doing it already that is). It’s a slap in the face of labor law, and downright inhuman, to expect the police to protect their employers, who not only pay them a pittance, but steal the taxes they contribute to the country. That’s just sick. You just know these  lame lazy-boy-lovers, would like nothing better than to get a shot at thieving, themselves. You can see it in their eyes, every time they have to escort some fat-fuck politician to his next big swindle.

Consider the billions that have found their way into the back pockets of our glorious liberators from Apartheid, from the hey-days of shady arms deals, to the present billions that cannot be accounted for by the South African Social Security Agency (SASSA). It’s outrageous that I could not be part of that delightful scheme to divert money away from the greedy recipients of welfare grants. And why couldn’t I have a crack at the billions that has gone missing from the Education Departments of various Provinces? What do snot-nosed kids need an education for anyway; it’s not like they’re going to inherit a functioning country once all the looting has decimated it?

At least give me an opportunity to take back some of the loot from all those fucking cronies you have been so generous to; those who have enjoyed the lions share of government’s theft schemes up to this point. I promise, I’ll be as smooth and non-violent as you bastards have been; I’ll only require that you use your influence to muzzle the press so that they don’t spill the beans on me. Is it too much to ask for? Come on guys, let’s be fair here?

And if you villainous weasels who run this country won’t allow me even that courtesy, then please let’s stop kidding ourselves by calling this country a democracy; let’s call it what it is, a kleptocracy…

Can our mines rescue us from the politicians in power?

It seems that not a week goes by in South Africa without a new revelation of fraud, corruption, blatant theft or gross mismanagement of public funds, by the politicians in power who would have the world believe that they were installed in government by politically savvy supporters.

Today, I read with utter dismay (yes, yet again) about how the tax-payer funded our Police Commissioner’s house to the tune of 3.7 million rands. According to the Minister of Police, Commissioner Bheki Cele personally approved the allocation of funds from the police budget to purchase this lavish house. One can’t help thinking that whoever approved his appointment certainly did take the old adage, set a thief to catch a thief, very seriously.

However, that pales in comparison to the other news report today of 44 billion rands that cannot be accounted for by the education departments of three of South Africa’s Provinces. That kind of money does not simply get lost; it takes a special kind of incompetence to mismanage that amount of money. Or it’s quite simple – fraud or theft or both. Or perhaps a combination of fraud, theft and mismanagement.

If one adds up all the many billions of rands that have found their way into the pockets of our thieving politicians since they came into power in 1994, starting with the arms scandal, I’m sure it will be mind-blowing. Think of all the things that kind of money could have done for the development of this country and its people?

This thieving by our politicians has got to stop!!! We must take whatever action is necessary to stop it, and make sure that these bastards never do it again.

Watching the dramatic rescue of the Chilean miners who were trapped more than 600 meters underground in a mine, gave me an idea of how to dispose of our scumbag politicians. How about performing the Chilean rescue mission in reverse? What if our mines came to our rescue by gobbling up these cretinous villains?

We could lower them down into unused mines, 1200 meters deep or more (just to make sure they can’t get back out); leave them there to contemplate nationalization of mines, and then rot. Uncivilized?

Surely not! These vile crooks, have had years fattening up on our hard-earned tax money, so I’m sure they could last a week or more down a mine. We could throw some clergymen down to join them in penance, and prayer. That would be a last act of kindness, from a nation wronged. How about that lot from Rhema Bible Church? 

Think that’s barbaric?

No, that’s more consideration than they gave us poor South Africans, when they stole from us…