An Open Letter to Those Who Voted ANC

Dear South African voter,

This letter is aimed especially at you, you… and you. Yes, you who voted for the ANC repeatedly since 1994 – even after the whiff of the rotting carcass became overpowering.

There, there! It’s all right! I guess you couldn’t possibly know how many maggots were crawling around and living off that putrefying pile of pus. But now you do, don’t you?

You got your democracy. And it felt satisfying. Funny thing that. Really no better than a monarchy or aristocracy or dictatorship when managed by madmen, or power-hungry revolutionaries. But hey, it sounds less evil than apartheid, right? And why not? You get the satisfaction of seeing Black people go one up on the Whities for perpetrating acts of gross insanity.

How could you know that the politicians selected by the party, pretending to represent you, would grow fat with such ease on the taxes that you pissed stones to contribute to the country? How could you know that the treasury could spring so many leaks while in the control of the ANC? Why should reports of their profligate spending of R5 billion on catering, travel and entertainment be such a big deal? Even fat farks deserve a little pampering, right? And you can’t trust these Whitie newspapers to tell the truth, can you?

So R5 billion could have been used to build 1000’s of houses and pay for some services too. So what? It’s only Whities who are complaining. They’ve all got houses and services. They should all just shut the fark up and let us get on with not having any. Right?

Wait! What!

Are you seriously okay with being an average plonker who’s content with things as they are? Well, are you? Do you know how you’re affecting me with your antipathy, stupidity, or ignorance. Even if you don’t care about me, I do. But what about your children?

Are you also content to see them inherit a country ruined by ANC arrogance, incompetence and greed? Well? Are you?

You know what you need to do at the next elections. Don’t fark up again!

Up Yours,


The shit they’re saying in politics #1

Inspiring new ways…

Minister in the Presidency ** Collins Chabane announced a new slogan for marketing the country – South Africa: Inspiring new ways.

Given the current climate of perverse over-taxation of the citizens of South Africa, and the  continuous brazen looting of the treasury by government,  I wonder if this catchphrase is intended to inspire both parties differently.

For government:

  1. Inspiring new ways for members of government to loot and pillage without getting caught as often as they do
  2. Inspiring new ways to tax their citizens into oblivion

For citizens:

  1. Inspiring new ways to ridicule arrogant members of government, especially when they get caught with their hands in the cooky jar
  2. Inspiring new ways to dodge taxes and finding new driving routes to avoid paying ridiculous tolls

On leased buildings

Bheki Cele our “shoot first, talk later,” Police Commissioner is currently facing a commission of enquiry into his approval of outrageous lease agreement deals involving hundreds of millions of Rands.

This exemplar of police brutality, while revealing that he signed the contracts without reading, told the inquiry “I also knew there could be a re-prioritisation of funds”, knowing that there were none.

With South Africa facing a spiralling crime wave, our government has left the safety of the public in the hands of a bozo who believes that moving into comfortable new offices is more important than providing much-needed resources to the police officers struggling to fight crime.

** As opposed to Ministers out of the Presidency such as Minister of (non-existent) Transport, Minister of (shoddily built) Housing, Minister of (inferior) Education, etc.


Just another routine swindle

I remember glancing briefly at the headline and introduction over the weekend:

Five-star junket shock

A delegation of 49 government officials, including eight ministers and deputy ministers, flew business class to New York on a two-week junket – and failed to attend many of the sessions of the United Nations gender summit where they were supposed to represent South Africa.

And thought “Oh Fuck! Not another swindle by government.”

Today I read the full article and was not surprised to see all the usual suspects involved; our notorious non-performing government departments and officials.

  1. The Ministry for Women, Youth, Children and the Disabled [horribly mis]led by Lulu Xingwana
  2. The Ministry of Correctional Services [mis]led by Nosiviwe Mapisa-Nqakula
  3. The Ministry of Social Development [mis]led by Minister Bathabile Dlamini
  4. The Ministry of Trade and Industry [mis]led by Deputy Minister Elizabeth Thabethe
  5. The Ministry of Public Works [mis]led by Deputy Minister Hendrietta Bogopane-Zulu
  6. The Police Ministry [mis]led by Deputy Minister Maggie Sotyu
  7. The Health Ministry [mis]led by Deputy Minister Gwen Ramokgopa
  8. The Ministry of Higher Education [mis]led by Deputy Minister Hlengiwe Mkhize.

Another glorious gathering of female scum this time, about to find the fame shame they so richly deserve. They will no doubt find good company with many of their male colleagues who have preceded them into the Great Hall of Shame, for fiddling much grander sums from the taxpayer’s largesse.

With the local government elections coming up in May this year, it is now quite clear why the faithful are clamouring, even trampling over each other, to get onto the ANC Election lists. With the incentive of unlimited taxpayer funds at your disposal to use and abuse, mostly abuse, it’s a no-brainer.

Much harder to fathom though, is why the poor keep voting for the organization these vermin cling to?

Warning labels are generally just plain dumb

So there I was yesterday, sipping on a JD and Coke, reading this blog about a guy who bought a costume outfit from a toy shop for his 3-year old daughter, and only later noticed the tiny warning label “CONTAINS LEAD. MAY BE HARMFUL IF EATEN OR CHEWED…” As I finished reading, I glanced over towards the near-full, square bottle containing my evening’s liquid pleasure on the table besides me, and noticed the label “ALCOHOL REDUCES DRIVING ABILITY. DON’T DRINK AND DRIVE”

Still in a lucid state, I immediately thought how stupid that warning label was. I simply could not imagine anyone drinking that heavenly liquid saying “OK, I’m going to make a point of not driving after drinking this.” No, those who don’t actually drive after consuming the alcohol, do so simply because they’re shit scared of being caught by the police while under the influence, or are amazingly decent human beings who have made alternative transport arrangements or had no intention of driving at all. I just don’t buy the idea that the warning label influences behaviour in any way.

Take the typical warning label on packs of cigarettes: SMOKING CAUSES LUNG CANCER. I just can’t imagine smokers reading this warning and then bursting out “Oh shit! I’m quitting right now!” Off course, some people may be influenced by the label to eventually quit, but I doubt anyone does it right away. People quit to make lifestyle changes or simply because it becomes too expensive. Personally, I quit not because of the health warnings, but because I had reduced the amount of stress I was experiencing by making a few changes in my life, the chief of which was losing my religion. Anyway, the same government authorities who push for compulsory warning labels, are the same shits who reap a huge tax income from the sale of tobacco products. The savings I now make by not buying cigarettes are ploughed back into the pleasure system, through the purchase of premium alcohol products; inter alia, Johnny Red & Captain Morgan will simply not do.

To really demonstrate the absurdity of warning labels, why don’t we have them on knives for instance. You don’t see “DO NOT TAKE TO SCHOOL, STABBING IS NOT PART OF THE CURRICULUM, JUST YET.” None of our mini-bus taxis are required by law to carry the warning “RIDE AT YOUR PERIL. DEATH AND DESTRUCTION USUALLY FOLLOWS.” And yet, if anything requires a warning label, it should be mini-bus taxis; in fact the label should adorn the entire, invariably un-roadworthy vehicle. And why don’t sub-humans like our politicians come with warning labels such as “VOTE NOW FOR GUARANTEED BROKEN PROMISES.”

Coming back to the case of the kid’s costume outfit which contained lead: this amply demonstrates that warning labels make no sense. The label allows unscrupulous manufacturers to literally get away with murder. They cover their arses by sticking warning labels on shit that should not be sold in the first instance. Warning labels just allow crooked lawyers to ply their trade with ease and also provide government authorities a false air of practicing social responsibility.

Common sense should be a compulsory subject at school. Maybe then we won’t have to put warning labels on stuff.

A tip for driving at night on our potholes…err, I mean roads

The project deadline is looming; just over 50 days to go. That means having to put in the extra hours. And that means leaving home very early in the morning and returning very late at night.

And now that winter is approaching, it’s very dark in the mornings and worse at night. Normally not a problem, if the roads are good and reasonably well-lit. Not so our roads, which look more like they have taken direct hits from mortar shells; and at night you can’t see them because the streetlights rarely function. On rainy days it’s worse; the potholes fill up with water, making it very hard to notice them easily.

But the bastards at the local municipalities have squandered our taxes on more pressing things like…lining their pockets and sending schoolboys on overseas soccer training camps, instead of fixing the potholes and maintaining functioning street lights. They take their cue from their political masters in the Provincial and National Governments, who set new benchmarks for atrocious administration, every week. Yes, hardly a week goes by without a new revelation of gross mismanagement of public funds and/or fraud, by public officials.

However, I digress – I get so carried away when discussing the shitheads in public office. Back to my tip for driving at night.

The trick is to ensure that there is a car in front of you at all times. His (or even her) tail-lights will provide you with sufficient light to see any potholes; but you need to keep a safe following distance, so that if he (or even her) does drive into one, you will have enough time to avoid it, while chuckling merrily at your formidable driving skills.

What if the other drivers have the same idea and don’t want to be in front? Well, that’s easy to overcome; you need to entice another driver to stay in front of you. When you get to a set of traffic lights and stop alongside another vehicle, rev your engine slightly and inch slowly forward while waiting for the lights to turn to green. The driver alongside you will sense that you are challenging him (or even her) to a race. When he (or even she) takes the bait and flies off the line, you ease off and settle nicely behind him (or even her). It rarely fails; South Africans can’t resist a challenge; unless they are wise to my wily scheme. Alternatively, move into the yellow barrier line area, pretending to be courteous, and allow another vehicle to pass you; whereupon you settle behind him (or even her) again. It’s much easier, but the former method is more fun, especially after that driver thinks he has beaten you in the challenge, and promptly hits a pothole.

Happy motoring; if you can still afford the gas and pay the taxes that keeps those assholes in power.

People who did not vote in the SA elections: Apathetic or Principled?

I’m one of those who did not vote.

The election farce has happily come and gone; it means I don’t have to be constantly insulted by the politician’s outrageous lies for another five years at least. In the aftermath, I read in an on-line publication today, that those who did not vote in South Africa’s general elections yesterday, are apathetic, unpatriotic etcetera. One commentator in fact recommended that non-voters should have exercised their democratic rights and participated, and then made their displeasure towards the candidates known, by spoiling their votes. I will explain later why this is a really bad idea. If I had not made myself clear in a previous post, as to why I will not vote, and in fact did not vote, then let me reiterate and add further reasons for my perceived apathy.

I firmly maintain that my vote is akin to a precious commodity. In exchange for my vote (in a democratic political system), a political candidate should reciprocate by rendering a public service that is in the interests of all citizens, and is indeed necessary for the smooth functioning of that (democratic) system. It is therefore incumbent upon the candidate to earn that vote. In the current South African context, no politician has yet earned any votes, through repeated (from past elections) voilations of the process of reciprocation. To put it bluntly, South African politicians are either entirely self-serving (as is the case with the incumbent government), or serve narrow interest groups (such as the opposition parties who represent racial or other types of minorities). When I find a politician or political party that actually earns my vote, I will cast it gladly.

And so we come to that curious bunch of do-gooders who have this romanticised view of the world; who think it is noble to participate in the election process, but show your disapproval of the electoral candidates, by spoiling your vote. It might make for good reading in a political novel, but the reality is ultimately quite different. Do you actually think that the victors of an election will stop for ten seconds and ponder the fact that a thousand, or even tens of thousands of people spoilt their votes? From experience, these politicians are far too arrogant to even give one second of consideration to the fact that some, or many people did not vote. The number of votes lost, or not cast is inconsequential to any victorious politician; said politician is by this time, already too busy figuring out how to “redistribute” your taxes; in no small part to himself and his cronies.

Finally, I need to address those well-meaning members of the public, who have repeatedly castigated potential non-voters prior to the elections. These reprimands were mostly spread through e-mails, warning us not to complain about any objectionable elected officials, if we chose not to  participate in the election process (and supposedly **pause to laugh** ensure that a better candidate won). The purveyors of this idea, go on to state that by default, non-voters give up their right to complain or participate further in the democratic process. Another noble, if somewhat unenlightened idea. In truth, the fact that I surrender (even, if unwillingly) a large part of my earnings as taxes, and indeed contribute to the (mostly unjustified) salaries of the elected officials, gives me every right to participate in the democratic process to determine how the money is spent; and consequently allows me access to the vehicles for complaint. As an analogy consider that the employees in a company do not decide the management structure, but have the right to complain (and seek restitution) over unfair labour practices by any member of that structure.

In probably all organizations (a country can be viewed as a very large organization), where decisions are reached through a system of voting, there are abstentions; for reasons of strategy, ill-health or otherwise valid reason, even apathy. Consider that an abstention could also be just simply a matter of principle; something that is all too expediently sacrificed these days…