Barcelona = Soccer Surgery

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Precise, surgical passing and movement, clinical finishing. It’s the Barca way!

Last night the champions of Spain were crowned the Champions of Europe for the second successive year by defeating the champions of England Manchester United. To be fair, “defeating” is a euphemism. Manchester United were handed their asses on a plate. They were literally mesmerised into submission by the sublime Barcelona.

So is it fair to conclude that the Spanish League is superior to the English Premiership?

While Barcelona are currently untouchable, I don’t believe they could perform consistently well for a whole season if they were drafted into the Premier League. The Premier League may not exactly be a display of stylish football, but it is arguably the toughest and most demanding in the world, on both players and coaches. I’m also skeptical if any of the Barcelona players would perform as well should they be signed up to any English team.

Currently they’re performing masterfully in a team and environment which suits them well.

Arsenal in England compares very favourably with Barcelona in style of play and producing the type of football that make the purists go orgasmic with delight. However Arsenal have too many young players who though laden with talent, are still brittle and inexperienced. Off course it doesn’t help that they are playing in such a tough League. I imagine that they should perform better in the Spanish League.

So then, who is the best footballer in the world?

Without doubt it has to be Lionel Messi. I’d venture to say that he’s superior to Maradona or anyone else ever, in the history of football. Messi is the son of the footballing gods. And the best part is that he’s chosen to remain here on Earth among us mere mortals and not sit up there in football heaven smirking like someone else’s son we know.

The Stars above a Mountain

Terje Sorgjerd photographer extraordinaire, has done it again. This time his video is a time-lapse photographic rendition of the Milky Way galaxy above Spain’s highest mountain, El Teide.

Join me in marvelling at the majesty of the cosmos, and man’s amazing ability to visualize it artistically:

Just pull out that culture card…again

I read a letter posted to an online newspaper today. Yay! No wait! It was interesting, in the way it showed up the ignorance about culture.

This guy, David Lucas was writing in response to a presumably white women who expressed her disgust at the penchant of the local Zulu population to slowly and ritually kill an ox with their bare hands, to satisfy a traditional custom known as Ukweshwama. Well, he basically called her a racist and berated her for questioning the culture of non-white people, supposedly while her own race indulged in similar bloody practices.

He goes on to cite Spanish bullfighting, the bull running in Pamplona and the Rodeo in the USA as examples of bloody practices that whites indulged in. He states that if you ask the Spaniards, Italians [?] or Americans why they “do this to animals,” they would respond that it’s part of their culture.

And that folks is where the problem is. Not only are these Spaniards, Italians [?] and Americans idiots, they responded that way [if this idiot, David Lucas is to be believed]because of years of indoctrination in protecting one’s beliefs. The bloody sporting activities described by David Lucas are no more cultural than picking one’s nose. It’s just become very convenient to protect one’s crazy beliefs and desires under the banner of culture, just as one protects one’s crazy supernatural beliefs and desires under the banner of religion. Culture and religion – a great place to hide and protect craziness.

These people know that once you classify something as religious or cultural, you will enjoy the protection of the clergy, the politicians and the state. It’s that simple. Really David, you dumb fuck, it’s wrong whether you’re black or white or fucking alien green; race has nothing to do with it.

And David, I’m non-white and I have this sudden strange desire to practise the Aztec ritual of  ripping out still-pumping hearts from the chests of my fellow humans. It’s bloody yes, but I feel the need to proliferate this great cultural tradition once more. I’m sure I can count on your support, if some frigging white person has the temerity to object…

Hup! Hup! Ole!

Feel it, it is here! You’ve probably been assaulted by that cheesy line many times by now. The truth is, the end of the FIFA 2010 Soccer World Cup is at hand, and it’s hard not to feel something, even if it’s just plain indifference.

The finalists, Netherlands and Spain each have a life-long objective to achieve; Netherlands to finally win after reaching a final, and Spain to win a final on debut. This could be a classic final, to be cherished for a long time to come, or it could turn out to be a damp squib like the others over recent years. Even though both teams progressed to the final in a relatively inconspicuous or uninspiring fashion; one hopes that they have left the best for last, seeing as how the flashy brilliance from some of the more fancied teams, has gotten them nothing.

I’ve stood firm with my prediction that the Netherlands will get into the final and even go all the way to win. Although, I did predict that Spain would progress to the semi-finals, I did not expect them to get past Germany. So much for relying on form!

So, who is going to win?

There is an octopus called Paul, in the German city of Oberhausen, who has supposedly predicted that Spain will win the final. And there’s the octopus called Pauline, in the Dutch city of Scheveningen, who has also supposedly predicted that the Netherlands will win.

The thing is, an octopus cannot predict a winner and never will. The keepers of these two sea creatures in captivity, gave them a choice between two options, so they would always have a 50% chance of predicting the winner. Given the option between choosing either Spain or Netherlands and becoming Pickled Octopus, they would have chosen the latter 50% of the time. The other option in predicting a winner, is to consult a clairvoyant or similar scam-artist, which would leave you out-of-pocket and none the wiser; the octopus make a nice alternative and are more fun anyway.

Which means that there is no sure-fire way of knowing who is going to win. All you can do is pick the team you like and hope like crazy, they win.

I’ve chosen Netherlands…

What a Messi scorecard? 4-freaking-nil to the Germans

I’ve been right up there with that German octopus whose been predicting the outcomes of the German ties in the 2010 FIFA World Cup final being held in South Africa; however I’ve gone much further by predicting the exit of many other teams, most notably France, England, Italy, Portugal and the mighty Brazilians.

Argentina’s exit at the hands of the Germans may prove to be something of a relief to coach Diego Maradona, whose head was in danger of exploding from an overload of gross arrogance. There was a time when the hand of god helped them, but this time around they were handed what could probably be their most humiliating defeat ever, by Germany.

For a time there, the South American teams gave the world a lot to think about; what with all of them doing so well to progress into the next rounds of the World Cup at the expense of the European, African, American, Oriental, and Australasian teams. Suddenly however, there is going to be a lot of dejected travellers heading back West from South Africa, towards the South Americas. Uruguay is safe for now, having made it through to the semi-finals (no mean feat), but Paraguay face Spain tonight, and I fear they are also headed back home, come tomorrow. What’s happened to the South American Teams? Time enough to reflect after the World Cup is over!

In the interim, let’s celebrate the Netherlands who are still producing the goods; and I’m hoping that the Orange will be giving someone the Blues in the final of the 2010 FIFA Soccer World Cup…

Going Dutch – Could this be Holland’s World Cup?

Some of the more fancied teams have seen their asses being kicked. The stars of the soccer world have performed pretty much below expectations. The favorites to win, Brazil and Spain have not looked very convincing.

Neither has the Netherlands, but something tells me they could go all the way at this World Cup. The first two matches were won – not very easily, but won nonetheless. They don’t have that many superstars in their squad, so we won’t be assaulted with any preening and showmanship from the Dutch. The talent is undeniably there; and it shows signs of erupting magnificently.

Their supporters have shown that they care about far more than just soccer. Their protests against the ridiculous advertising rules imposed by the tournament organizers makes me proud of the nation in orange…. and clogs.

I’m rooting for the Dutch; it’s about time they finally go all the way.

FIFA Confederations Cup 2009: South Africa vs Spain

The final match day at the Royal Bafokeng Stadium, Rustenburg is now at an end. The match between South Africa and Spain for third place was evenly contested, but Spain eventually triumphed 3 – 2.

It would have been a serious embarrassment for the number-one ranked team in the world, had they lost to the steadily improving South Africans, but Spain held out to score the winner in the second half of extra time. There’s no doubt that the Spaniards were given a real scare during this Confederations Cup, first by the USA during the semi-finals and now by the South Africans.

The South Africans showed great promise in the many build-ups to scoring, but need to work on their finishing ability in front of goal. The skill and talent is undoubtedly there; perhaps they will give a better account of themselves next year in the FIFA World Cup Finals.

However, the Spanish side has enough class and I am predicting that they will win the FIFA World Cup Finals to be held in South Africa during June and July next year.

This is your wannabe reporter, Lenny, signing off from the Royal Bafokeng Stadium, until next year; probably from a different stadium.