Fat heads, fat cats and fat lies

politics1Just when you think our politicians have sunk to the depths of utter depravity, they somehow manage to astound you even further.

This week while browsing through the local newspapers online, it felt as though I was reading The Onion, but you just can’t make this shit up. South African politicians are notorious for their self-indulgent and disdainful behaviour, they’re also pretty reckless when it comes to revealing how utterly inane they are.

Must come naturally; just has to be…

While our President was castigating the media about being unpatriotic for reporting on crime and corruption, telling them how their negativity made him think about fleeing the country, a Premier from the Northern Cape was well into a spending spree, splashing out around R50,000 of taxpayers’ money on fast food. Meanwhile the ANC Deputy Chief Whip in Parliament was regaling the house with tales about how Christians don’t lie.

President Zuma told a bunch of journalism students that on a recent trip to Mexico, he was told that the Mexican press does not report on crime in that country because it was patriotic not to do so, in order for the country to succeed. Seems the President was blissfully unaware of how the Mexican press was self-censoring out of fear, in one of the world’s most dangerous countries. So our President is either gullible or bending the truth to suit his own agenda. I pick, witless.

Another member of this artless bunch of fat cats, Sylvia Lucas was only recently inaugurated as Premier of the Northern Cape, by none other that President Zuma. She however lost no time in getting to grips with taxpayers’ money… by blowing it on junk food. A spokesperson from her department left reporters with this gem:

How would we have eaten if we didn’t use taxpayers’ money?

And to round things off, Chief Whip Doris Dlakude, another passenger on President Zuma’s gravy train, was quite nonchalant about dodging the responsibility of scheduling a critical debate in Parliament by revealing a sacred truth; that Christians don’t lie:

We are Christians here, we are not going to lie to anyone. We are still committing to this debate, it will see the light of day.

And that wraps up another week in the lives of our hysterical politicians. Off course, there’s much more to come; it’s a given.

“The poor admires the thieves…”

A really simple statement. It’s not supposed to be the way things are done, yet it applies to two countries I know of, and could apply to possibly many more.

I received this statement as part of a longer comment made by someone living in the Philippines, as a response to one of my blog posts, Why do so many religious people hate themselves so much. Here’s the full comment:

Philippines, it’s in South-East Asia. The most corrupt, poor and only Christian country in Asia. I love my country and people but this is our reality. The poor admires the thieves, the thieves get money from the poor, the church demands money from the thieves and then the church comforts the poor with the promise of richness in heaven. It’s a cycle most of us refuse to see.

It’s essentially a comment about religion, but when I look at the South African political situation, it fits just perfectly. The poor people of this country, who are in the vast majority, voted into power a corrupt government, which already had a poor track record from their previous term of office. It means only one thing; they’re mesmerized by the thievery and incompetence. It’s just like religion!!!

Off course one could offer reasons why the poor still won’t trust anyone else but the current crop of thieves to run their government; one of which would be that it was a legacy of apartheid. In other words, they still don’t trust the white folk to govern them, because of apartheid. But that’s utter hogwash. Apartheid was in place more than 15 years ago; it’s time to move on. Also, there are believe it or not, still some decent non-white public figures around who could do a fine job, if given the chance (and I don’t mean the Indians – they can’t be trusted anywhere near politicians).

The thing is, the ruling government does not want people to ever forget apartheid. It’s far too useful to them. It’s an easy scapegoat to use, each and every time they fuck up, and it’s a pretty handy tool to keep the people afraid of ever trusting the white man again. Yep, apartheid will never die, because the ruling regime is keeping it on life support, and milking it for all its worth, to boot.

And the most damning thing about this regime, is that they need the poor, quite desperately in fact, to keep themselves in power.

If these clowns were not so damn funny…

You’ve gotta love this country. No matter how much our politicians screw up (and cover up), South Africans always manage to see the funnier side of it all. Take this cartoon in an on-line newspaper for instance; it’s fucking hilarious.

In fact, it’s so damn funny, I can’t resist having a go at the military theme myself:

  • Transport Minister – Major Pothole
  • Arts and Culture Minister – Private Parts
  • Communications Minister – Major R & R
  • Housing Minister – Major Billet
  • State Security Minister – Rear Admiral Snoopy
  • Justice Minister – Major Injustice
  • Finance Minister – Major Money-spinner
  • ANC Spokesman – Major Bullshitter
  • Rest of cabinet – might as well be AWOL

We’re so busy laughing, we’ve postponed the revolution to reclaim the country…for now.