This is South Africa, still untamed in some ways…

I’ve often been amused by Westerner’s who come to South Africa expecting to see wild animals wandering in the streets of Johannesburg.

While these travellers may be disappointed in not spotting any game for free, they’re more than happy to fork out a small fortune (in South African Rands at least) to go on the obligatory game drive, where they might also be treated to some tribal dancing, at the more upmarket private wildlife reserves. And If the local beer isn’t enough to satiate the more bloodthirsty among them, some sleaze ball ranches offer canned hunting…

But I digress.

One thing that the traveller is sure to find alive and well, is the practice of archaic cultural traditions, by all races. Our very own President, Jacob Zuma is a principal practitioner. He’s in it deep – keeping multiple wives, war dances, ancestor worship, promoting tribal and bush justice and maintaining a traditional living compound, allegedly at taxpayers expense; more that R200 million worth of posh huts with underground bunkers and electric lifts.

It’s actually inexplicable why someone so traditional, is also so comfortable living the bling Western lifestyle… also at taxpayers expense off course. No different though, than the South African Communist Party (SACP) leadership who exult in the pleasures of capitalism, whilst regurgitating communist, socialist bullshit to anyone stupid enough to listen. Some say it’s a culture of entitlement; spreading much like a disease. If it is, it’s highly likely entitlement will be one of the last remaining diseases to be eradicated from the African continent.

In one such ceremony yesterday, President Zuma slaughtered cattle, danced and appealed to his dead ancestors to “guide and protect him” apparently against those who were “ganging up against him,” while he seeks to maintain his unholy grip on power. Truly bizarre if you consider he belongs to the Full Gospel Church of Southern Africa. I guess if one is religious, it doesn’t hurt to cover as many bases as possible.

However just in case the spirits of your ancestors are otherwise engaged, it doesn’t hurt to hedge your appeals with a little vote-buying while on the campaign trail, as alleged here. If true, these allegations prove that the President is undoubtedly traditional all right – a traditional scoundrel.

Our Commie nutters

The South African Communist Party (SACP) lost all relevance a long time ago. Whatever their contribution to the downfall of apartheid, it is arguably purely of academic value today; their only leaders of note also passed on like that curse that once stained the history of this country.

The SACP of today are communist in name only. Oh, sure they rant and mutter about socialist bullshit, but they’re all filthy liars who indulge with pleasure on the fruits of capitalism. If they were left to stand on their own feet, they would wither and die, and stink up the place even more than they do now. Which is why they cling so desperately to the unholy union with the ANC, another organisation which is now totally bereft of all its humanist credentials of the past.

One might be tempted to view their relationship with the ANC as parasitic, but that’s mostly not the case. Picture two drunken louts staggering around together, locked in shoulder embrace, and you’re closer to the truth. They actually compliment each other in the vilest possible ways.

From time to time, SACP spokesnutters feel obliged to remind the people (or more accurately, the unwashed masses) of their presence in society, as an organisation and an alliance partner of the ANC, by uttering or demanding (more often demanding) something so utterly stupid, that it leaves people cringing. However, cringing usually turns to fits of laughter, when it brings relief and a distraction from the horror of yet another truly offensive act from the ANC, which occurs with frightening frequency.

Their latest call is one worthy of some kind of award. These nutters are now demanding that legislation be enacted to protect the dignity of the South African President. If anything, legislation is sorely required to have our President hanged by his testicles, and left dangling for the rest of his miserable life, over the stinkiest long-drop in existence. And while we’re at it, all communist neanderthals should be made to suffer the same fate.