Shaik rattled again…Bwahahaha!!!

I don’t usually take pleasure in hearing about people being hurt…but sometimes one must make exceptions, especially when the person who has been hurt is a scumbag.

Convicted fraudster, Schabir Shaik was involved in an altercation with 4 men at his favorite golf club recently, but this time he was on the receiving end of a beating. Seems he heard the men in the clubhouse talking “ill” about President Jacob Zuma and decided to be the gallant asshole, and confront. Now, all sensible people know that you just don’t mess with 4 guys who are drinking, especially when you’re alone. Maybe on that day Shaik had too much of that goji berry juice that’s supposed to be “curing his terminal illness,” which temporarily caused him to lose his sense of judgement, but it was a godsend nevertheless.

After Shaik swindled the taxpayers, raped the Justice system and then beat up a women journalist and a worshipper at a Mosque, I’m sure most decent people would welcome this small token of justice being served. Personally I don’t think it’s nearly enough, but in a country where there is so little of it, I guess I’ll take what I can.

In case you missed it, here are the morals of this little story:

1. What goes around, comes around
2. Never defend another scumbag, or you’ll get your ass kicked.

A headline made in heaven…

Sorry Mandy, but your article about the cracks beginning to show in the Shaik family edifice just begs an honest response…

Not only do I not believe that there is any fallout in the Shaik family, with all the disdain Lady Justice has been receiving lately from our politicians and their cronies, I propose the following:

No, the cracks are beginning to show in Lady Justice’s orifice.

Whaddya Know!

Image via Wikipedia

Terminally ill convicted fraudster [I just lurv saying that] Schabir Shaik has just got another get-out-of-jail-free card.

Or perhaps it wasn’t that free. We’ll never know if his latest arrest and incarceration (?) was a quick debrief and grease session.

All that matters is that Lady Justice has been raped again. And the helpless citizens – the decent ones – can do nothing about it. This disgusting crook will be playing golf again soon; perhaps a quickie assault before supper. He now knows that it’s not illegal to beat people up while out on parole – it is the new South Africa after all.

Hurry up and die bastard!

PS – I’d like to pay for your tombstone if I can write your epitaph: Here lies a terminally dead fraudster, who excelled at raping the Justice system, again and again.

Shaik rattled, rolled back to sing-sing

M&G, March 15, 2011

Convicted fraudster Schabir Shaik, released prematurely from prison on a highly dubious terminal illness ruling, has been rounded up and taken back to prison.

Apparently this scumbag, far from being terminally ill, has been walking around with great gusto and aggression, beating people up.

But in yet another travesty of justice and what can only be described as an act of incredible disdain for the public, the South African Department of Correctional Services has incarcerated him in an isolated section of the hospital wing of the Westville Prison in the city of Durban, rather than in a cell where he belongs. He might as well have been ensconced in the Presidential Suite of the Hilton.

One can only speculate that his political connections and wealth that were probably instrumental in getting him a “get out of jail free” card, has once again resulted in him being treated with this much deference.

Nearly everyone I know, or have spoken to would just like this piece of garbage locked up for good, preferably with someone called Bubba for companionship.

But the reality is that he may once again use his influence and wealth to escape justice. Heaven knows, there is no shortage of shady Indian doctors, corrupt state officials and dirty drooling politicians waiting for a bit more palm grease.

Horror from Japan excites horrid little minds

As the true extent of the damage from the massive earthquake that struck Japan begins to be realized, the crazy warped minds of the world’s religious lunatics are working overtime churning out ignorant theories about the wrath of the gods, the end times, the return of Jesus, and the power of the Supermoon.

Every time there is a natural disaster somewhere around the world, you can bet your bottom dollar that some religious looney-tune is going to mouth off about god’s wrath against gays, lesbians, heathens, Atheists or whatever conflicts with their warped sense of morality.

String together a series of natural disasters, political revolts and other forms of turmoil such as economic downturns, and the horrid little minds of these god-botherers goes into myopic overdrive.

The earthquake in Japan follows the recent heavy flooding in Australia, and earthquakes in Chile and New Zealand and citizen revolts in North Africa. The aftermath of the earthquake resulted in tsunami’s causing destruction elsewhere, a nuclear power plant about to go into meltdown, and a volcano eruption. This much chaos seems to have gotten the religious doomsayers into a monumental frenzy.

Just this weekend I’ve read that god is punishing the Japanese for killing and eating whales, the end-times is very close, Jesus is about to make another appearance, the bible predicted everything, and that the poor old moon is responsible for setting off the whole catastrophe.

But somehow, while god is supposedly laying on the death and destruction everywhere, he’s positively smiling down on South Africa’s favorite convicted fraudster. Schabir Shaik who was released from prison apparently because he was terminally ill, seems to become livelier by the day, as he goes about his way assaulting and intimidating reporters and even worshippers.

Go figure!

South Africa moves briefly through the Twilight Zone

Image via Wikipedia

I’m still rubbing my eyes in amazement!

Yesterday Julius Malema, that pompous maggot who lords it over the ANC Youth League, stated quite unexpectedly that those in power should not abuse their office to benefit their friends and immediate family. Presumably he was not referring to the ANC-led government because we all know that their constant denials of corruption and nepotism means that they’re squeaky clean.

I don’t know about you, but I’m really perplexed about who he could possibly have been referring to! The annoying blow-hard compounded my puzzlement by demanding that the public should vote for faces:

Whether you like the face or not (of the councillor)… as long as next to that face is the emblem of the ANC, you must vote for that face.

And,

We are failed by individuals, not by our organisation, the ANC.

Really now; had I known that the ANC was run by faces rather than individuals, I would not have abstained from voting for 16 years.

Meanwhile on another scary dimension, it been proven that us skeptics have been wrong about the powers of goji berries. Schabir Shaik, the convicted fraudster who was released early from prison because of a terminal illness, has seemingly made a miraculous recovery through his declared use of those magical goji berries. He’s so fit in fact, that he’s back in the news again…playing golf and beating up journalists.

Man, these are exciting times! Tomorrow I expect to catch my first glimpse of pigs flying!

Zuma’s Rape of the Nation Address

Since the extent of his philandering was revealed in the last week or so, South Africans have waited expectantly for Zuma’s second state of the nation address today, or as I prefer to call it Zuma’s rape of the nation address.

There was much talk in the press and practically everywhere else, about what it would entail. Would he apologize again for his sexual misconduct? Would he reveal exactly how many children he has fathered, apart from the 23 odd, already dug up by the press? Would he apologize for running such a shoddy, morally bankrupt, self-serving government? Would he use this as an opportunity to publicly fire the miscreants who have already been named and shamed for looting the Treasury? Would he pardon not-s0-shabby-Shaik? And on a related note, would he recommend Shaik for an award for Best Male Performance in a non-original Live Public Drama? Would he actually reveal a stupendous new plan for service delivery and good governance?

The answer is no, no, no, no, no, no and no again. Instead he vomited the same old platitudes we have heard over and over again. Let’s examine some of these:

a new way of doing things in government

What has suddenly changed that you need a new way of doing things? Why have you and your woodwork disciples been defending the way you were doing things for so long, when every thinking person has told you the opposite? Why were you so derisive of criticism of the old way of doing things?

Government must work faster, harder and smarter

and

The work of departments will be measured by outcomes developed through our performance monitoring and evaluation systems

Why wasn’t government working faster, harder and smarter before? Was the gravy train moving so fast that you lot were preoccupied with just hanging on? Why wasn’t the work of departments measured before? What makes you think your piss-poor performance monitoring and evaluation systems are going to suddenly work now? If your performance systems are anything like the education, transport and health systems, then we’re in serious trouble.

We require excellence and hard work. We need public servants who are dedicated, capable and who care for the needs of citizens

Are you kidding? Where are you going to find this bunch? The ANC Youth League? And are you going to fire the incumbents, who are presumably not hard-working, dedicated and capable, let alone caring? Dream on!!!

the government would allocate 6000 hectares of “well-located public land” for low-income housing

and promised

to give 500 000 families ownership of serviced land by 2014

Does well-located mean “not in sight of a squatter settlement” or “near Sandton City?” And are these the same 500 000 people you promised to give jobs to, the last time around? That number must be really special to you. Any reason why?

Anyone who doesn’t see that they’re being asked to bend over yet again, and take it without too much fuss, is either not living in South Africa, not driving on pot-hole infested roads, on the take already, hopelessly gullible, or in the ANC Youth League.

What will fall out if you Shaik the goji berry plant

I read an article in an online publication the other day about convicted fraudster Schabir Shaik’s stay at an exclusive game lodge, in apparent violation of his parole conditions. Shaik, for those of you who don’t know already, was convicted of fraud and corruption relating to the arms scandal and his relationship with Jacob Zuma, then Deputy President of South Africa (now President), was released on early parole because he claimed that he had a terminal illness.

Personally, I couldn’t bother where Shaik spends his time, legally or illegally; so long as it is as far away from me as possible. What interested me in the article was Shaik’s claim that his health was improving as a result of rest and a concoction of goji berries. He was also quoted as saying:

I’m on goji berries now. Someone told me that with them I’ll make a miraculous recovery … I’m hoping my eyesight will improve.

And indeed, Shaik does seem to be in perfect health now, and it looks like he has made that miraculous recovery. The thing is, miracles have only ever occurred in the bible and in other mythological fables, and there is no scientific evidence that goji berries have any health benefits, much less curative effects.

In fact the marketing claims made for goji berries (also appropriately known as Wolfberry) have come under scrutiny in various countries. Apparently, even the United States Food and Drug administration (FDA) placed two goji berry juice distributors on written notice for claims relating to the establishment of the product as a drug intended for use in the cure, mitigation, treatment, or prevention of disease. The misleading claims are so serious, that a class action lawsuit was filed against FreeLife International, Inc, in Arizona USA over its Himalayan Goji Juice, GoChi, and TaiSlim products.

So, what can one conclude from this?

That it’s highly improbable that god took some time out from his busy schedule of fucking up the world, to grant Shaik an extension on his miserable, thieving life, or that goji berries have suddenly started curing terminal illnesses. What is plausible however, is that Shaik has perpetrated another fraud on the South African people with his carefully managed terminal illness stage act, and that our rotten government had a lot to do with it. It’s high time the South African sheeple woke up and smelt the goji berries.

Ten changes the newly elected SA government may make

1. Creation of the Ministry of Religion. Since the church proved so helpful during the election campaign, and Zuma declared that “…god is on their side…,” government has decided to show their appreciation by creating a Ministry of Religion and will immediately declare Ray McCauley as Minister of Religious Affairs. Look forward to a one tenth taxation of your one tenth tithe.
2. All criminal courts to be disbanded. These courts are pretty ineffective anyway. Henceforth, the National Prosecuting Authority will be expanded, and all decisions concerning criminal cases will be made with ruthless efficiency by this directorate. Moketedi Mpshe is to be appointed with immediate effect as Chief Judge and Executioner (CJE). All cases currently against corrupt government officials will be suspended. One of the benefits of this change will be that all the money saved in trying to prosecute corrupt civil servants, will be made immediately available again for “redistribution” to other corrupt government officials who may not have fed properly at the trough, the first time around.
3. The creation of The Reward Fund as the official Recognition and Reward system of government. This fund which will be introduced at the next annual budget meeting of parliament, will become the vehicle through which gross incompetence, mismanagement, plain laziness and general ineptitude by civil servants, is rewarded and encouraged. As you know, if a government functions (especially in Africa), then something is drastically wrong. To combat this undesirable outcome in government, civil servants who display the above-mentioned characteristics should be rewarded, and the public should be glad to pay for it, too. Any individuals outside of government, who assist (financially or otherwise) in key events such as election campaigns, will be rewarded with government positions (which may of necessity have to be made up or created for no real reason), so that they too can eventually benefit from the The Reward Fund.
4. Public flogging to be re-introduced.  We all know how South Africa loves violence and what better way to help our slide back into medieval times, than by reviving public floggings. And unfortunately, the first victim has to be ex-president Thabo Mbeki. Since ANC Youth League (ANCYL) president, Julius Malema so eloquently pointed out in a letter (apparently) that Mbeki was the real villain in South African politics, the ruling government has no option but to publicly deter such behaviour through routine floggings. All opponents of the government, beware the pen of Malema, and the whip of Zuma.
5. Cape Town will be renamed the Mother (fuck’n) City. As you know, the Western Cape, all but whipped the ANC’s ass in the recent elections, and this will not sit well with the overall winners. So expect President of Cape Town, Hellen Zille to be increasingly ostracised by the ruling government of the greater South Africa. And watch closely, as the government may decide to take further punitive measures against Cape Town, by relocating Parliament to Houghton, or heaven forbid, the Rhema Bible Church near Randburg.
6. A re-distribution counter for hard drugs will be opened at all police stations across the country. The main aim of this counter will be to re-distribute, at competitive prices, all the illegal hard drug shipments that are confiscated at our main airports on a weekly basis. The benefits of this initiative are two-fold; the first will be to put all legitimate drug dealers out of business, so that the police can have more time to expand the distribution business, and fill vacant posts in the VIP Protection Unit (which as I will explain later, is going to become very important), and the second will be that as more of the citizens of this country become dopers, the government will have less to worry about in terms of interference with the way they run government.
7. The State Tender Board will be dissolved and reformed as The Tender Loving Care Board. This board will be responsible to ensure that all state tenders are awarded to rich non-white businesses, who have solid track records of having previously benefited from a state tender and/or have in some way contributed in getting the government re-elected to power. As soon as it is reasonably safe to declare Schabir Shaik miraculously cured of the mystery illness that got him released from prison, he will be appointed to head this board. The key benefit of this initiative will be to ensure that the rich get richer, and the vast majority who are poor remain as wretched as ever, and thus maintain their status as common voting fodder. As any politician knows, it is easier to convince the poor to vote for you with rich promises.
8. Foreign advisory appointments to key government positions. Robert Mugabe will be appointed as President Zuma’s chief virtual political adviser. Mugabe’s main role will be to advise Zuma on how to hang onto power, especially as he ages closer to the 70’s and beyond. Similarly, Mugabe’s wife, Grace will be appointed as chief fashion adviser to Zuma’s harem. She will be responsible to advise Zuma’s mulitple wives on fashion sense and how to spend taxpayers money on extravagant shopping sprees, overseas.
9. Other key government appointments. Trevor Manuel will be moved to another ministry or commission, as his reputation as a tightwad will not suit the free-spending Zuma that much. Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma will be redeployed from the foreign ministry where she did a great job at keeping the old dictators and despots club together, to the Home Affairs ministry where she can presumably assist with legislation to make SA a haven for ousted foreign despots and other criminals. Julius Malema will be rewarded for his loyalty by being appointed to head the newly formed Media Watchdog Committee, where he will try his level best to stymie press freedom and monitor adverts that parody the government. Manto Tshabalala- Msimang, former Minister of Health will be given a diplomatic post to Outer Mongolia where she can quietly pass her days swigging whatever passes for alcohol there, while contemplating the mess she made with the Health Ministry.
10. And the best for last. As soon as Jacob Zuma is sworn in as President of SA, a law will be passed making the extreme right-hand lane of all major roads (mostly freeways and highways), the VIP Lane. This lane will be reserved for National and Provincial Ministers, MP’s and Provincial Legislature big-shots, so that they can race along with ease in their VIP protected blue-light flashing, motorcades. This will be done solely because the government has the safety of the motoring public at heart; by outlawing motorists from this lane, VIP Protection officers don’t have to shoot any more innocent motorists. As I mentioned earlier, this initiative will create advancement opportunities for many police officers. And since ordinary motorists will be confined to the center and left lanes only, taxis can now legally make exclusive use of the yellow barrier lane and even the pavements, which they used illegally (and with gay abandon) in the past. Pedestrians, I’m afraid will have to take their chances, just as we motorists have had to in the past, with both taxis and VIP convoys.

The above is a parody of government and is not to be taken seriously…if you cross your fingers…

After the Party by Andrew Feinstein

After the Party by Andrew Feinstein

Subtitled “A Personal and Political Journey inside the ANC” Andrew Feinstein served as an ANC member of parliament, and comes across as probably the only honest politician in South Africa, although he has resigned from Parliament some time ago already. The revelations of political corruption and the cover-ups within the South African ANC-led government, specifically the arms deal scandal leaves one in no doubt that the South African public has been scandalously defrauded and treated with utter disrespect by this government.

Although Feinstein mentions one or two shining lights within the ANC-led government, the overall picture is one of doom and gloom, revealing generally only corrupt, incompetent, nepotistic, self-serving politicians. The book becomes all the more relevant with the unfolding of recent events, most notably the early release from prison (more accurately, hospital) of convicted fraudster, Schabir Shaik with a cloud of suspicion surrounding the circumstances for release. Add the disgraceful antics of Jacob Zuma trying to squirm his way out of appearing in court to face corruption charges, most of which stem from the arms deal, and the relevance of this book still stands, even though it was released in 2007.

Feinstein left the country soon after his resignation from parliament, and it surely must be a major loss to the country, especially when one considers the utter trash polluting the current political scene.

Notable quote:

I particularly enjoyed Steve Tshwete, the larger-than-life Minister for Sport, whose glasses always tinted darkly when he entered the Chamber, giving a sense of Isaac-Hayes-cool as he ambled slowly towards his seat, accompanied by a deep, elongated rumble of ‘Steeeeve’ from the ANC benches; the Speaker, Frene Ginwala, an imposing, sari-clad dominatrix, and, a few seats in front of me, Winnie Mandela, who occasionally graced Parliament with her aloof presence.