Black Friday Special

Cripes! While you’ve been shopping your heads off, mine has just become the number one target for two countries.

Yes folks, the list of countries where my head would be most highly sought after, has just grown by 100%. I had resolved never to visit Saudi Arabia because I feared my (non) religious beliefs would surely see me parted from my head.

But now it seems North Korea has joined the head-hunting party. Reports suggest that authorities are ordering citizens to copy that lunatic Kim Jong Un’s shitty hairstyle. There is a further report that offending long locks such as mine are being cut by university student monitors. Now I don’t know who or what they are, but I’m not about to find out.

Losing my head or long locks would be equally terrible for me.

17 Shopping Days Until the End of the World… Again!

It’s silly season again! No really, this time it most certainly is…

I wrote last year in October about the religious nut, Harold Camping who predicted the end of the world on 21 October. This time around its various New Ageists and other assorted crackpots. Most of these wacko’s base their beliefs on the Mayan calendar. Others think that Earth is going to collide with a Black Hole, or the imaginary planet Nibiru. Some even suggest we’re going to be invaded by Aliens.

I know the world is still as crazy as ever; probably even more so than last year. There are all the usual signs. We’ve had them here in South Africa too. Religious nut jobs are still butchering anyone who they deem to be in opposition to their primitive belief systems. Politicians are still defrauding their constituencies with gay abandon. And every freak, thief, rapist and murderer continues to treat the world as their personal property.

And global temperatures are rising.

But I can assure you that I will stop the world from ending on 21 December 2012. The question is, will you worship me thereafter?

The comedian doth show his hand…

I have really nothing to write about this evening, but I found this blog post in the Mail & Gaurdian by John Vlismas, a South African stand-up comedian and would like to share his real-life stand-up beliefs with you:

Why doesn’t God pay tax? I’m not suggesting that God actually does the transfer. He has elected representatives among us, apparently — and authorised them, allegedly, to collect funds on his behalf. Some of them have outfits and everything. The ruling that God’s money is safe from SARS can only ensure that shysters and thieves breed under and cling to his holy hem. If we audited churches and had them cough up, surely we would help create a better average quality of believer, surely? Wouldn’t the faithful like the idea that we assist them and close loopholes in tax laws that will keep the worms out? Why would you resist such a suggestion? Because we hate scrutinising our strongest beliefs — faith is like writing or music — the popular kinds are seldom any good. Questioning what you believe is not to destroy your belief, it’s to make sure the thing you believe in has foundations — a house built on rock, I think it says.

Catch the rest at Father, Son and tax evader.