Dissing the President


Quite a number of people in South Africa consider the President to be an idiot. However no matter how many people think it, it does not necessarily make it true.

Here is the truth:

Jacob Zuma visits a primary school and sits in on one of the classes, which is in the middle of a discussion on words and their meaning. The teacher asks Mr. Zuma if he would like to lead the discussion of the word “tragedy.”

So, the infamous leader asks the class for an example of a ‘Tragedy.’
One little boy stands up and offers: “If my best friend, who
lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy.

“That’s wrong,” Zuma shouts. “That would be considered an accident.”

A little girl raises her hand: “If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.”

“You are completely incorrect,” shouts the philanderer. “That would be what we would consider a great loss.” The room goes silent.

No other children volunteer. Zuma searches the room. “Isn’t there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?”

Finally at the back of the room a small boy raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says: “If a plane carrying the President were struck by a missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.”

“Fantastic!” exclaims Zuma. “You are absolutely right. Can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?”

“Well,” says the boy, “because it sure as hell wouldn’t be a great loss and it probably wouldn’t be an accident either!”

Adapted from Board of Wisdom.

Show him the finger!

flipthebirdAn enterprising individual or group of individuals, exhausted of being shown the finger by our horrid incumbent President, has come up with a novel approach to the upcoming general elections in 2014.

It’s a long shot… a near impossible hope really, that he’s likely to be toppled given the predilection of the  South African electorate to being duped into voting for very shifty politicians. But if anything, it’s worth it just for the laughs it raises in these troubled times when there is so little to enthuse over our politics.

The Un-Vote


The President is hands-on… Bwahahahaha!

I read with disbelief, this response to a blog post in Mail & Guardian, an online publication, from the government’s Communications department.

We read, with disbelief, the tirade by William Saunderson-Meyer supposedly on the performance of government, entitled “The Zuma government is floundering about” (August 18 2012).

Saunderson-Meyer tells us that the President “has been preoccupied with ensuring a second term at the African National Congress’s elective conference in December”. The writer provides no scientific evidence to back up this assertion. He has taken gossip that he has read elsewhere, and presents it to readers as analysis.

Also worrying, is the tone of the article, which is very condescending. It demonstrates that the writer has no respect for the South African head of state.

Well actually, my initial disbelief was replaced with howls of laughter, because the jackass who wrote that, one Sydwell Mabasa, is not only just another government stooge, but he has a little understanding of the scientific method, not to mention logical fallacies.

Saunderson-Meyer’s article was written from observation of government’s performance over a number of years, and even the most optimistic supporter will have to honestly admit that “it is floundering.” While President Zuma staggers from one political and personal  blunder to the next, his government seems to imitate him, with dizzying acts of inferior performance in almost every department of government.

Sydwell commits a cardinal fallacy by selectively picking a handful of the achievements (dubious though some of them are) of the ANC government’s tenure, and blatantly ignoring the multitude of failures, and acts of gross incompetence that have sullied the country’s reputation on the world stage. He arrogantly asserts that the piece of paper [Constitution/Bill of Rights] that guarantees certain freedoms coupled with the right to vote, is equivalent to the holy grail that the South African population have been seeking since Apartheid times.

Big fucking deal. These rights and freedoms enshrined in the constitution are being trampled on daily, by none other than the very government created to protect them. And what of the right to vote? Democracy South African style, guarantees you the RIGHT to be beguiled into making your choice for those with the most expensive marketing campaigns and creatively subtle threats. And if Sydwell needs the so-called “scientific evidence, it’s there for all to observe, unless you’re willfully blind, deaf or ignorant.

Saunderson-Meyer is quite correct. Zuma has surrounded himself with woefully inept Ministers and scheming acolytes whose only intention seems to be in securing their vertiginous rise from revolution to royalty. They may punt the bill of rights in public, but in private they’re secretly counting the bills that they have managed to line their pockets with.

Yes folks, as one commenter in the article said, Zuma is hands on alright – his hands are on the taxpayers money. What the commenter didn’t mention is that his hands are also on a lot of women too…

The hated, rated…

So, if the spin doctors are to be believed, President Jacob Zuma, a serial bungler of note, ends the year with an approval rating that’s on the up.

Yes, he’s jumped from a low of 43% in February to a mind-boggling high of 49% in November. Wow! Probably a major achievement, considering the coterie of perennial under-achievers he has picked to surround himself with. But, if you look at it year-on-year, he dropped from all-time high of 58% in 2009. Talk about setting the bar low! If he manages more than 40% next year, it will indeed be a miracle, perhaps one his friends in the religious community can boast about.

Seems like pay-back time is fast approaching…

In all fairness…

I hate having to defend dirt-bag politicians like Jacob Zuma, but in this one instance he’s been treated unfairly, especially by the media and his political opponents.

Over the last few days, Zuma’s been getting a right rollicking from all quarters over an extra-marital affair he conducted with the daughter of a close friend, which resulted in the birth of a baby girl.

You know how the media love scandals, and this one seemed to be made in heaven – the most high-profile [dirt-bag] politician in South Africa getting it on with the daughter of a mega-rich, high-profile sports administrator. All the headlines were about Zuma and his secret affair, while that infamous prat, Julius Malema received scant notice, even though he was making every effort to hog attention by voicing his incredibly gross ignorance in public again.

Extra-marital affairs happen all the time, all over the world; only a small percentage involving some type of celebrity, receive intense media attention, where after it all blows away…until the next one comes along. Zuma’s affair was with a 39-year old business-women, presumably in full control of her mental faculties, and a willing participant.  She is not some innocent victim in this mess, and should shoulder her fair share of the responsibility. And, I don’t believe his three (or is it four?) wives should have anything to complain about, seeing as how they are willingly ensconced in a polygamous relationship with him anyway. It should have been a private matter which should have been resolved amongst the various parties, with some form of punishment being meted out to Zuma [such as glueing his dick to his stomach while he sleeps, as a woman in Wisconsin did recently].

If, however, he had had an affair with a teenager, even if she was a willing participant, or [imaginary] god-forbid, a prepubescent, then the media would have had something to crow about. Hell, even I would have conveniently forgotten my aversion to violence and opposition to the death penalty, and joined the lynch-mob myself.

To his credit, Zuma did not deny the allegations, but released a media statement confirming them. He also did not try to vindicate his actions, solely by using that popular scapegoat for all human behaviour dirty and disgusting – culture. However, this does not condone his overall irresponsible behaviour in fathering his 20th child. That is not a good message for a President (even one so slimy), to be sending out to the African continent, plagued by HIV-AIDS, over-population and starving children.