Redistribution of wealth through incompetence

I think I’ve worked out how the [post-Polokwane] ANC is redistributing the wealth of South Africa. And it’s not being redistributed to the poor as you would expect.

I’ve also worked out why they are reluctant to privatize State Owned Enterprises (SOE’s) such as Eskom, Transnet, South African Airways (SAA), The South African Broadcasting Corporation (SABC) etc. These enterprises are a rich and easy source of wealth that can be siphoned off quite legally, though not ethically. And the worst bit is that the rich pickings are being redistributed to a new assemblage of amoral, get-rich-quick cunts – the new ANC-connected elite.

Here’s how I think it’s being done:

The [post-Polokwane] ANC deploy their cadres who are also grossly incompetent pricks, to run these SOE’s (normally as CEO’s). It’s vital that they are incompetent; the more so, the better. This prerequisite ensures a quicker turnover in the CEO position; which means that another cadre can have his turn at the feeding trough much sooner. The brilliance of the scheme is that when these thieving bastards get found out, we’re told that they have to coerced into stepping aside through the inducement of a golden handshake, which invariably turns out to be millions of rands. That is the simplicity and beauty of this scam.

Its been going on for years, and most, if not all SOE’s have been targeted. The latest instance involves the CEO of the SABC, Solly Mokoetle who is allegedly receiving a settlement of around R30 million, for less than a year’s work. It’s therefore not surprising that Roy Padayachie, a relatively unknown but apparently well-connected Minister of Communications was on hand to commend Solly and say that it was time to

open a new page and start a new chapter

Off course we all know what that new page and new chapter means. A new cadre waiting expectantly in the wings for his or her turn at the trough.

But, perhaps I’m just imagining things…

If you’ve got murder on your mind, come to South Africa

Hmmm. I’ve just read that our Tourism Minister, wants to promote South Africa as a great destination for shipping cruises. May I suggest (dis)honourable Minister, that we’ll make more money promoting this country as the ultimate murder destination.

Yes, that’s right. If you’re thinking of knocking off someone, bring or lure them here. You will not find a more beautiful, accessible, murder-friendly destination in the world. Forget about Mexico, Afghanistan or Iraq; you need to do the deed without having to worry about getting knocked off yourself.

Your chances of getting caught are pretty slim; the incompetence of our police (dis)service is legendary. They’re however quite good at forming blue-light flashing, motorised convoys to escort our self-important, fat-arsed politicians around at break-neck speed on our soon-to-be open-tolled roads, forcing tax-paying citizens out of the way. That, and turning a blind eye to the looting of the treasury by our elected (sigh!) politicians.

However, you need to take cognizance of the following to ensure that your chances of being arrested are eliminated or minimised:

  • Don’t plan your murder or hit in any area that is run by a competent Provincial Administration; that is to say, don’t do it in the Cape Province. Rather select any one of the other corrupt ANC-governed Provinces. Polokwane and the Eastern Cape are a good bet.
  • Don’t hire shifty, good-for-nothing mini-bus taxi drivers as part of your hit squad. They’re likely to get caught after boasting about it in the local township shebeen (unofficial bar, to you foreigners). Don’t hire drug-peddling Nigerians either; they’re just good at extortion, fraud and peddling drugs off course. Don’t approach any of our politicians either; they may like stealing, and don’t give a hoot about crime, but I don’t think they’ll be party to murder.
  • Don’t ask that cougar from Pretoria, who planned a hit on her rugby-playing boyfriend or anyone on honeymoon, for advice.

Now that you’re all set to get away with murder, please consider first spending some of your Euros and Dollars on normal touristy things; even visit some of our idle World Cup stadiums, or take a cruise. We could sure do with the money, and so could our politicians.

Photo# 12: Monster spliff

This morning, on my way back from a meeting I had yesterday in Polokwane (formerly Pietersburg) in the Limpopo Province, I saw these huge bundles of grass scattered about on either side of the main highway. It appeared as if the long grass along the roadside had been freshly cut and rolled up into huge cylinders by some sort of machine.

I just had to stop and take some pictures, but it was not very comfortable stepping out from the air-conditioned comfort of my car, into the scorching heat of the African sun.

Monster spliff cut in two?

Neatly scattered grass?

Can anyone tell me what they’re used for?