Today in Politics: Roasting #02

ANC secretary-general [note the fatuous military title] Gwede Mantashe has appealed to followers of his wayward organization to “stop insulting” its leaders. WTF?

Appealing to his own supporters, not detractors? First, let me get this out of the way…


It’s perhaps a good sign, because it’s an indicator that the sheeple are finally cottoning onto the real character of their political leaders, which means there’s hope yet for this country.

If Mantashe doesn’t realise that respect is earned, he should escape very quickly from the 17-year post-apartheid dream-world he’s been living in and start smelling the neglected sewer infrastructure. Politicians will only get respect from their followers and other people when:

  1. They abandon the disdain they have for their own people, and become honest and caring
  2. Pigs fly.

I suggest Mantashe starts praying very hard for pigs to grow wings.


Seems former President Thabo Mbeki is still hung up about the death of his former bossom-buddy, Muammar Gaddafi.

He’s been making dubious claims that “false knowledge” spread through the internet and social media such as Twitter is to blame for the removal and ultimate death of the Libyan despot. He suggests that people believe absolutely everything they read in the various media.

While that may be true of the ignorant berks who continuously vote for the world’s tyrants, there are actually a lot of people who are discerning about the information they consume.

Is Mr. Mbeki seriously suggesting that we believe the shit that emanates from the mouths of politicians? When pigs fly, Mr. Mbeki. When pigs fly…

Bring back the death penalty…

Bring back the death penalty…not for citizens, but for public servants who abuse their temporary power and authority.

Yeah, that means you, abusive cop…and you, you scumbag politician. Here’s a video made especially for you:

This is for everyone who is tired of living in fear, not of criminals, but of the police. And this is for everyone tired of paying taxes that are stolen by politicians.

arcana imperii is an evil perpetuated by evil governments

Governments all over the world tell their citizens that arcana imperii or state secrets, is imperative for the proper functioning of the state.

While democratic governments normally consult and make arguments that seem convincing before implementing legislation dealing with state secrets, despotic governments tend to enforce made-up laws as they see fit. However, the South African government seems to be in between at the moment with its intention to steamroll a particularly nasty piece of legislation known as the Protection of Information Bill (POIB).

Before we examine POIB any further, it’s prudent to ask what are state secrets and why governments think that they are so necessary?

Herfried Münkler, Professor of Political Theory in the Faculty of Social Sciences  at the Humboldt University of Berlin has this to say about state secrets:

The disclosure of state secrets means a loss of strategic capability, which is undoubtedly bound up with the ability to maintain secrecy.

A state that has lost the ability to maintain secrecy has lost its ability for political struggle.

From what Professor Münkler is saying, it seems that state secrets allow governments to double-deal and perpetuate political strife. This allows politicians and politics to proliferate. And so we come closer to the truth about state secrets – it’s all about politicians and their deceitful shenanigans.

People don’t make enemies with people in other country’s. Country’s don’t make enemies with other country’s. Politicians do!

Is it then illogical to conclude that state secrets are there to protect the politicians rather than the citizens? If the politicians had nothing to hide, what is the need for state secrets? What could possibly be of such strategic importance, that it needs to be kept secret? Certainly not science and technology – these need to be shared with the citizens of the world. Unless the politicians don’t want to share technology because of its potential to create weapons for war?

And so citizens become the pawns of the politicians when they are forced to bear these weapons of destruction – so that they can defend more state secrets. A vicious circle tailor-made for the politicians.

Coming back to South Africa. The ANC government are hell-bent on pushing POIB through into law, despite fierce opposition from the Media, many organizations both here and abroad and even from within their own party. Consensus of opinion seems to indicate that it is being done mainly to muzzle the free press and curtail the constant embarrassment that the ANC has to deal with, considering the almost hourly revelations of their dirty, thieving, deceitful and shameless behaviour with respect to the treasury, the ideals of democracy and the constitution.

The ANC government seems to not realise that although the majority of the population, steeped in ignorance, ensures that they stay propped in power, things will not always be this way. Ignorance is curable and it won’t be long before their deceit is understood and realised by that same majority.

Being human is so damn hard…

Just when you think you have things all figured out, you soon realize that you don’t. Or worse still – that you probably never will…

We formulate our opinions on life based on the quantity and quality of the information we receive, or allow ourselves to receive in the absence of any inhibiting factors such as censorship. However we may also be prone to wilfully self-censor because of inculcated beliefs, ideologies and even prejudices, which off course leads to the formulation of rubbish opinions.

Let’s assume that in most cases censorship is non-existent or very limited, which would mean that our opinions are limited in their [truth]value only by the paucity of information available and our own inherent limitations in comprehending and reasoning, or by wilful ignorance.

In either case most people who formulate opinions on life should be assumed to have good intentions. Or at least, that’s how I’d like to assess all humans.

So, as of last week I thought I had the Libyan situation all figured out. There was a leader ruthlessly killing his own people, behaving like a madman…or so most of the media reports and opinion pieces published, led you to believe. Having a strong respect for the sanctity of life and an aversion to genocidal tendencies, I supported the UN measures to impose a NO-FLY ZONE in Libya and the subsequent military action that followed. My argument in support was based strongly on Objective Morality.

However, with new information available this week, I realise that maybe the whole decision to intervene militarily in Libya may have been wrong. And while I concede that the intentions of the ring-leaders the USA, Britain and France in formulating that decision, may have been somewhat honourable, is in fact very wrong on many other levels. I now have to concede that the net bad that will result, outweighs any good that can be gleaned from this whole wretched affair.

Off course, I may have gotten it all wrong once again. It’s so tough being human…so much easier being a politician!

The despot circus endorses a new ring-leader

While the people of Egypt were fighting for their freedom, while the people of South Sudan voted overwhelmingly in favor of freedom from tyranny, while a democratically elected leader tried desperately to get the incumbent scoundrel to step down and hand over power, while an already deposed dictator fled from the wrath of the people he abused, and while fresh rebellion elsewhere was in the air, the established despots and wanna-be tyrants of Africa who make up the African Union (AU), voted in a new chairman.

And not surprisingly they endorsed a veteran with 30 years of ignominious rule adorning his résumé. All hail  Teodoro Obiang Nguema Mbasogo, the pride of Equatorial Guinea, proud ally of the oil-obsessed USA, and now ring-leader of Africa’s despot circus.

Forgive me for thinking that the evolution of man started, and then stopped abruptly in Africa too.

When despots start falling like dominoes

It’s a gratifying sign when despots start falling like dominoes. It means that poor people who have endured years of depraved government, have finally had enough…and are magnificently fighting back.

Zapiro, Mail & Gaurdian, 29 January 2011

Will the second year of the second decade of the second millennium, be the start of despot dominoes in Africa…and elsewhere. I most certainly hope so, and can’t wait for the despot-toppling fever to reach Southern Africa.

Perhaps we can prepare by having our own, albeit non-violent mini-revolution – by toppling the despots who deface local government with their fat ugly mutts, in the upcoming Municipal elections.

All hail al-Bashir…or not

Fresh from his gigantic failure to mediate in the Ivory Coast Presidential crisis, former South African President and notorious AIDS-denialist Thabo Mbeki, today hailed the apparent statesmanship of International Criminal Court fugitive and notorius alleged humans-rights abuser, al-Bashir, President of Sudan.

Now isn’t that wonderful? One fucked-up, has-been politician paying tribute to another, who admittedly isn’t quite finished yet with fucking things up. The stuff of dreams…

And then there’s US Senator John Kerry who also joined the tribute chorus. Politicians! Can’t resist climbing on that old bandwagon, can they? Off course we all know that the Senator is probably licking his lips at the thought of all that oil in South Sudan that may become available to the good old US of A.

And what about our human rights basher (al-Bashir – his name’s kind of apt, don’t you think)? It’s only a matter of time before he starts persecuting any Christians still left behind in predominantly Islamic North Sudan after a potentially successful secession vote. He’s just licking his lips too…

If you’ve got murder on your mind, come to South Africa

Hmmm. I’ve just read that our Tourism Minister, wants to promote South Africa as a great destination for shipping cruises. May I suggest (dis)honourable Minister, that we’ll make more money promoting this country as the ultimate murder destination.

Yes, that’s right. If you’re thinking of knocking off someone, bring or lure them here. You will not find a more beautiful, accessible, murder-friendly destination in the world. Forget about Mexico, Afghanistan or Iraq; you need to do the deed without having to worry about getting knocked off yourself.

Your chances of getting caught are pretty slim; the incompetence of our police (dis)service is legendary. They’re however quite good at forming blue-light flashing, motorised convoys to escort our self-important, fat-arsed politicians around at break-neck speed on our soon-to-be open-tolled roads, forcing tax-paying citizens out of the way. That, and turning a blind eye to the looting of the treasury by our elected (sigh!) politicians.

However, you need to take cognizance of the following to ensure that your chances of being arrested are eliminated or minimised:

  • Don’t plan your murder or hit in any area that is run by a competent Provincial Administration; that is to say, don’t do it in the Cape Province. Rather select any one of the other corrupt ANC-governed Provinces. Polokwane and the Eastern Cape are a good bet.
  • Don’t hire shifty, good-for-nothing mini-bus taxi drivers as part of your hit squad. They’re likely to get caught after boasting about it in the local township shebeen (unofficial bar, to you foreigners). Don’t hire drug-peddling Nigerians either; they’re just good at extortion, fraud and peddling drugs off course. Don’t approach any of our politicians either; they may like stealing, and don’t give a hoot about crime, but I don’t think they’ll be party to murder.
  • Don’t ask that cougar from Pretoria, who planned a hit on her rugby-playing boyfriend or anyone on honeymoon, for advice.

Now that you’re all set to get away with murder, please consider first spending some of your Euros and Dollars on normal touristy things; even visit some of our idle World Cup stadiums, or take a cruise. We could sure do with the money, and so could our politicians.

Can our mines rescue us from the politicians in power?

It seems that not a week goes by in South Africa without a new revelation of fraud, corruption, blatant theft or gross mismanagement of public funds, by the politicians in power who would have the world believe that they were installed in government by politically savvy supporters.

Today, I read with utter dismay (yes, yet again) about how the tax-payer funded our Police Commissioner’s house to the tune of 3.7 million rands. According to the Minister of Police, Commissioner Bheki Cele personally approved the allocation of funds from the police budget to purchase this lavish house. One can’t help thinking that whoever approved his appointment certainly did take the old adage, set a thief to catch a thief, very seriously.

However, that pales in comparison to the other news report today of 44 billion rands that cannot be accounted for by the education departments of three of South Africa’s Provinces. That kind of money does not simply get lost; it takes a special kind of incompetence to mismanage that amount of money. Or it’s quite simple – fraud or theft or both. Or perhaps a combination of fraud, theft and mismanagement.

If one adds up all the many billions of rands that have found their way into the pockets of our thieving politicians since they came into power in 1994, starting with the arms scandal, I’m sure it will be mind-blowing. Think of all the things that kind of money could have done for the development of this country and its people?

This thieving by our politicians has got to stop!!! We must take whatever action is necessary to stop it, and make sure that these bastards never do it again.

Watching the dramatic rescue of the Chilean miners who were trapped more than 600 meters underground in a mine, gave me an idea of how to dispose of our scumbag politicians. How about performing the Chilean rescue mission in reverse? What if our mines came to our rescue by gobbling up these cretinous villains?

We could lower them down into unused mines, 1200 meters deep or more (just to make sure they can’t get back out); leave them there to contemplate nationalization of mines, and then rot. Uncivilized?

Surely not! These vile crooks, have had years fattening up on our hard-earned tax money, so I’m sure they could last a week or more down a mine. We could throw some clergymen down to join them in penance, and prayer. That would be a last act of kindness, from a nation wronged. How about that lot from Rhema Bible Church? 

Think that’s barbaric?

No, that’s more consideration than they gave us poor South Africans, when they stole from us…

Warning labels are generally just plain dumb

So there I was yesterday, sipping on a JD and Coke, reading this blog about a guy who bought a costume outfit from a toy shop for his 3-year old daughter, and only later noticed the tiny warning label “CONTAINS LEAD. MAY BE HARMFUL IF EATEN OR CHEWED…” As I finished reading, I glanced over towards the near-full, square bottle containing my evening’s liquid pleasure on the table besides me, and noticed the label “ALCOHOL REDUCES DRIVING ABILITY. DON’T DRINK AND DRIVE”

Still in a lucid state, I immediately thought how stupid that warning label was. I simply could not imagine anyone drinking that heavenly liquid saying “OK, I’m going to make a point of not driving after drinking this.” No, those who don’t actually drive after consuming the alcohol, do so simply because they’re shit scared of being caught by the police while under the influence, or are amazingly decent human beings who have made alternative transport arrangements or had no intention of driving at all. I just don’t buy the idea that the warning label influences behaviour in any way.

Take the typical warning label on packs of cigarettes: SMOKING CAUSES LUNG CANCER. I just can’t imagine smokers reading this warning and then bursting out “Oh shit! I’m quitting right now!” Off course, some people may be influenced by the label to eventually quit, but I doubt anyone does it right away. People quit to make lifestyle changes or simply because it becomes too expensive. Personally, I quit not because of the health warnings, but because I had reduced the amount of stress I was experiencing by making a few changes in my life, the chief of which was losing my religion. Anyway, the same government authorities who push for compulsory warning labels, are the same shits who reap a huge tax income from the sale of tobacco products. The savings I now make by not buying cigarettes are ploughed back into the pleasure system, through the purchase of premium alcohol products; inter alia, Johnny Red & Captain Morgan will simply not do.

To really demonstrate the absurdity of warning labels, why don’t we have them on knives for instance. You don’t see “DO NOT TAKE TO SCHOOL, STABBING IS NOT PART OF THE CURRICULUM, JUST YET.” None of our mini-bus taxis are required by law to carry the warning “RIDE AT YOUR PERIL. DEATH AND DESTRUCTION USUALLY FOLLOWS.” And yet, if anything requires a warning label, it should be mini-bus taxis; in fact the label should adorn the entire, invariably un-roadworthy vehicle. And why don’t sub-humans like our politicians come with warning labels such as “VOTE NOW FOR GUARANTEED BROKEN PROMISES.”

Coming back to the case of the kid’s costume outfit which contained lead: this amply demonstrates that warning labels make no sense. The label allows unscrupulous manufacturers to literally get away with murder. They cover their arses by sticking warning labels on shit that should not be sold in the first instance. Warning labels just allow crooked lawyers to ply their trade with ease and also provide government authorities a false air of practicing social responsibility.

Common sense should be a compulsory subject at school. Maybe then we won’t have to put warning labels on stuff.