Hell no, we don't want Gbagbo

Ivorian President Laurent Gbagbo, 2007

Image via Wikipedia

Just when I thought we had smartly avoided the obligation to provide political asylum to Libya’s disgraced leader, it appears that our government, ever eager to make an impact in the League of Despots, have offered South Africa as a preferred exile destination to Laurent Gbagbo of the Ivory Coast.

I think we need to make it very clear that South Africa is a safe haven for criminals only. It is no coincidence that our own politicians are all in the process of transition to eminent villains. We can’t have ordinary tin pot dictators settling here, trying to muscle in on the action. We have standards, for crying out loud!

It would be better for Gbabgo to perish in the bunker that he has ensconced himself in. It would be fantastic for him to be forever remembered with the same veneration as Adolf Hitler.

Assuming he somehow weasels his way out the bunker, would Angola please be so kind…

Oh, yes please! Uganda can have him!

As the world’s superpowers debate the future of Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi, it appears that some may be amenable to him stepping down and seeking exile.

While Gaddafi has been mouthing off publicly about his intentions to stay and fight to the end, I’m certain he’ll run with his tail between his legs for the first safe destination his ill-gotten gains will allow him, just like cowardly despots tend to do.

Popular exile destinations for the world’s evil tyrants are Arab, African and South American countries. Annoyingly, South Africa features on the list of countries willing to grant political asylum to the scum of the earth; particularly nasty douchebags who are supportive of the vile shenanigans of our own nasty government.

But it now appears that President Yoweri Museveni of Uganda, having a similar penchant for clinging onto power, would be quite agreeable to welcoming Gaddafi into the country, saying

Whatever his faults, he is a true nationalist.

I prefer nationalists to puppets of foreign interests.

This is good news for South Africa. We won’t have to host another lunatic former leader [and his equally deranged sons] at taxpayers expense. Uganda can have the bastard, and as many others as they want.

Hopefully, our covetous President won’t get it into his foggy head to make a counter-offer to the Libyan to pig out in South Africa instead, in the hopes of gaining a bit more material wealth; and some pointers to hanging onto power.