South Africa could do with a woman like this for President

Malawi is practically a neighbouring country, but I had no idea that the new President, Joyce Banda was making such radical changes there. It’s embarrassing; not the changes being made, but my ignorance.

In my defense, I was not expecting anything different from Banda, after Bingu wa Mutharika, Malawi’s former President ensured the Continent’s trend of setting up despots, thieves and madmen in power, until his timely death. Women are as susceptible as men to be corrupt, despotic, thieving and mad.


JOYCE BANDA (Photo credit: Back2Black Festival)

But not this woman it seems. No, Joyce Banda has within months of becoming the new President, made radical changes such as:

  1. Getting rid of the Presidential jet which the poor country can ill afford
  2. Ditching the cavalcade of expensive limousines that Mutharika used to ride around in like a pompous ass
  3. Announced the repeal of laws banning homosexuality, imposed by the bigoted Mutharika
  4. Sacked the corrupt police chief favoured by her equally corrupt predecessor
  5. Appointed a new cabinet (hopefully one that the country can be proud of)
  6. Re-stablished developmental and diplomatic relations with Britain
  7. Working with the Bank of En value of Malawi’s currency
  8. Refusing to allow Sudanese despot Omar al-Bashir into the country for an AU Summit in July

Joyce Banda provides hope that Africa may yet change radically, and rid itself of the penchant for self-destruction through the selection of dictators and madmen like Mugabe. And the fact that it took a woman to start this change is even more cause for celebration.

One can only hope that South Africa follows suite and ejects these greedy, corrupt, inept, power-hungry lunatics in the ANC from power. One would be even more hopeful that a woman or women accomplish that rescuing act.

An open letter to Helen of Tafelberg

Dear Helen,

Southern Sudan will start voting tomorrow in a historic referendum that will enable them to secede to form a new country. In so doing they will at last escape the tyranny of that madman al-Bashir, and the Arabic Islamic North.

You and I, both live in a country being slowly ruined by several madmen who occupy the seat of power. I therefore seek desperately to move somewhere where my taxes wont find its way into the back-pockets of these despots-in-the-making, but into filling those potholes I routinely drive into on my daily commute, among other more pressing things like education systems that produce graduates who can score more than 30%, and a police service that can actually see their toes while standing upright. I dread the future that the products of this education system will undoubtedly create once they start working, and I sure as hell don’t want to live in constant fear of criminals who actually can see their toes.

I need security, and many others like me just want to be able to live in peace, and not worry about that next pothole that will ruin our cars, or that car-jacker who will ruin our relationship with our insurance companies.

I believe you can help us. Secession is going to be all the rage in 2011; I can feel it in my bones. Wink! Wink! Nudge! Nudge!

The Kingdom of the Cape sounds so much better than the land-locked one run by that despotic, polygamist, reed-dancing pervert. I would be honoured to be a citizen of another country and not have to cross an ocean to be there. And you would make such a good President…or even queen.

Please let me know if you will be interested in creating the push for independence; I will start getting my papers in order for emigration.