Massacre of Valentine’s Day

I take it that there is general acknowledgement that the modern observance of Valentine’s Day is as commercialized as Christmas. Notwithstanding, most people still indulge in this celebration of love as a necessary distraction from the hum-drum of daily life.

But there are those who wish to tarnish and discredit this old tradition.

Anwar Abbas, head of education (yeah right!) at the Indonesian Council of Muslim Scholars thinks that Valentine’s Day is “incompatible with his nation’s culture and religious tenets.” This self-appointed moral policeman expressed his indignation after discovering that retailers were selling Valentine’s Day chocolate gift packs that included condoms which he claims “glorified promiscuity.”

What an idiot? The provision of free condoms is a public service. Religion should never be allowed to come between consenting sex organs. (Yes, I’m referring to the multitude of sexual partnerships, not just heterosexuality). This is the 21st century for Odin’s sake. People love to bonk because it gives them pleasure. There is nothing immoral in sexual pleasure.

It used to be that Abbas’s irrational and irresponsible adjudication was the forte of the Catholic Church. And he’s not alone. Abbas has cohorts in every religion under Sol. It is now apparent that it is endemic in religious ideology in general. Ideologues have for time immemorial been using morality as a pretext to impose their narrow-mindedness on the uncritical masses. It has nothing to do with morality, and everything to do with religious bigotry and the power that having a priestly position entails.

Fuck all religious naysayers. No wait, don’t, not in that way. Ignore all fundamentalist religious idiots and have a banging Valentine’s Day tomorrow, but for Odin’s sake use a fucking condom.

My heathen Christmas

The holidays have come and gone so quickly. My annual journey to visit family is over and so it’s time to reflect on one of the highlights – my first European Christmas.

I was invited by my cousin’s Danish fiancé Klavs, to spend Christmas at their home in Durban – well Christmas eve to be more conventional. Danes celebrate on 24 December what is known as Juleaften, which literally means “Yule evening.” This pagan tradition was incorporated into Christianity centuries ago by the Germanic Peoples of Europe.

We had roast pork, duck, caramelised potatoes, red cabbage and gravy for dinner. For dessert we had rice pudding with chopped almonds. All exactly as the Danes would have back home. The rice pudding even contained a whole almond which someone is supposed to find in his or her bowl, and be rewarded with a present. All very Danish…

After dinner Santa showed up (a friend of Klavs, and known as the Julemanden in Danish) to give the kids some presents. Santa in the Danish tradition may have absorbed some elements of the god Odin who is associated with the pagan festival of Yule. Amusingly, Santa’s left knee took a bit of a pounding from the kids – all four of them.

Later we lit up the raisin sprinkled Christmas tree with real candles, not the schmaltzy electric flashing lights you see so often these days, placed many wrapped presents underneath, and danced around it in a circle hands joined, while Klavs sung some traditional Danish songs which sounded rather jolly. But there were no hymns and carols and not so much as a peep about Jesus and all that other Christianny stuff. All delightfully heathen, as it should be.

I did score some presents myself, but was rather mortified that I did not get anyone else anything in return. But I was just expecting dinner, nothing so magnificent as this. Off course there is next year and perhaps I’ll even learn a Danish song…

American Gods by Neil Gaiman

Having read Good Omens, Gaiman’s collaboration with Terry Pratchett, I certainly did look forward to reading one of his solo works. But like Good Omens, I felt unsatisfied at the end because it all worked out rather too neat.

Hang on to that thought because we’ll come back to it later…

The plot revolves around the likeable ex-con Shadow, fresh out of prison, who allows himself to be drafted into service as a bodyguard of sorts to an ageing con-man Mr. Wednesday, who later reveals himself to be Odin, a God of the Norse pantheon. The unlikely duo travel across America attempting to enlist the aid of various other mythological Gods, who we learn have been brought over to America [through the act of belief] from the old countries by an assortment of immigrants. The recruitment drive is to create a force to participate in an impending battle with the New Gods represented by modern technology, the media, celebrities etcetera.

Along the way we meet crotchety characters such Czernobog and Mama Ji who is the Indian God Kali, and rather likeable Gods such as Mr. Ibis and Mr. Jacquel representing the Gods Thoth and Anubis respectively. But there are other in-between Gods such as Easter (Eostre) and Mr. Nancy (Ananzi), and the supposed bad guys representing the New Gods with names like Mr. Town and Mr. World, who is also the known as Low-Key Lyesmith, otherwise known as Loki.

The human characters along the way do not play significant parts in the plot except for Shadows’ dead wife [yes, dead wife], Sam Black Crow and girl he meets while driving across the States and Chad Mulligan, a police officer in a small town which features prominently in te book.

Not wanting to give away too much about the myriad twists and turns and the special reltionships between the various characters, both Gods and humans alike, I’m going to leave it at that. But I now go back to the ending which I mentioned earlier.

I would have liked to see a messy ending, where either the Old Gods get their asses kicked, or even the New Gods. But Gaiman decided to let Shadow intervene between the warring sides and end the battle peacefully, with hardly any casualties. Maybe he was trying to tell us that the Old Gods can live side by side with the New. Or that the Old Gods are so inbuilt into our psyche’s that they will stay there for a very long time, if not forever. Or that the New Gods can’t be killed as they are the future.

However you look at it, it’s a compromise we’ll have to live with…

At the time of writing this review, HBO is developing a TV series of the book for airing some time around 2013, with Tom Hanks producing. It’s something to look forward to.