Elections in Africa are free and fair

العربية: الخريطة الهجائية لأفريقيا English: Or...

Photo credit: Wikipedia

I know what you’re thinking. You’re from one of the first world countries.

But it isn’t this: elections on the African continent are free and fair. Free for the politicians who stand for elections because both donors and the taxman is paying for it. Fair to the person or party that wins.

That’s right. And the politicians don’t have to work too hard to manipulate a win either. The people – the majority – are surprisingly pliable. You, from the first world can speculate why. It’s not that hard to figure out.

The winners join an elite body of rulers on the African continent,  the Organization of African Unity, otherwise known as the LAD’s – League of African Despots. You, from the first world will catch them on television every once in a while. They will be in a meeting of sorts, talking about shit that will never happen…. and drinking wine, expensive wine paid for by the voters of the country unfortunate enough to host them.

From Abdoulaye Wade to Mugabe, Mswati, Mbasago, Mosisili, Meles Zenawi, Mohammed VI, Mbeki (deposed), Muammar Gaddafi (dead), Malema (not yet… ruling that is), and all the way to Zuma. I’ll leave you to fill in the blanks. All given power by the people…

What were you thinking? You’re from Africa.

Today in Politics: Roasting #02

ANC secretary-general [note the fatuous military title] Gwede Mantashe has appealed to followers of his wayward organization to “stop insulting” its leaders. WTF?

Appealing to his own supporters, not detractors? First, let me get this out of the way…


It’s perhaps a good sign, because it’s an indicator that the sheeple are finally cottoning onto the real character of their political leaders, which means there’s hope yet for this country.

If Mantashe doesn’t realise that respect is earned, he should escape very quickly from the 17-year post-apartheid dream-world he’s been living in and start smelling the neglected sewer infrastructure. Politicians will only get respect from their followers and other people when:

  1. They abandon the disdain they have for their own people, and become honest and caring
  2. Pigs fly.

I suggest Mantashe starts praying very hard for pigs to grow wings.


Seems former President Thabo Mbeki is still hung up about the death of his former bossom-buddy, Muammar Gaddafi.

He’s been making dubious claims that “false knowledge” spread through the internet and social media such as Twitter is to blame for the removal and ultimate death of the Libyan despot. He suggests that people believe absolutely everything they read in the various media.

While that may be true of the ignorant berks who continuously vote for the world’s tyrants, there are actually a lot of people who are discerning about the information they consume.

Is Mr. Mbeki seriously suggesting that we believe the shit that emanates from the mouths of politicians? When pigs fly, Mr. Mbeki. When pigs fly…

Let’s hope not…

Could it be possible that Muammar Gaddafi is on his way South looking for asylum in South Africa, and Julius Malema is heading North escaping prosecution for grand theft?

I most certainly don’t want that deranged tyrant living in the same country as me, nor do I want that fascist thief escaping the punishment that’s his due…

© 2011 Zapiro (All rights reserved)

Printed with permission from www.zapiro.com

For more Zapiro cartoons visit www.zapiro.com


Death of a politician…

A politician died today.

Saw it on a Facebook status update. Jack Layton of Toronto, Canada, leader of the opposition New Democratic Party.

I off course didn’t know all this when I saw the status which just read “Rest in peace Jack Layton. You will be missed.” For a South African such as myself, accustomed to an entire lifetime of sleazy, self-serving, arrogant, thieving scumbags who pass for politicians, the thought that a politician could actually be missed, is both alien and repulsive.

It’s no wonder then that I commented “It’s a politician….good riddance I say…”

That’s when the status owner, my cousin replied that he was “…a man for the people.”

A man for the people? Yet again, it’s a concept that’s hard to accede to. Do such men (politicians) really exist? Well, if my cousin from Canada is to be believed or trusted, maybe. Either Jack has done some astounding work convincing Canadians, some at least, that he’s a good guy, or Jack is (was) really a good guy.

Unfortunately though, my South African – no my Continental – experience which feeds my cynicism, will not allow me to slip my guard, and allow one of these reprehensible cretins who create misery and suffering all over Africa, to get a foot in the door of my favour.

Goodbye Jack, perhaps I’ve been too harsh on you; but I’m hoping fervently that you’ll be welcoming many of Africa’s shitbag politicians to join you as soon as possible, starting with Muammar Gaddafi up North…

Get Gaddafi!!!

Either Gaddafi has learnt a few things about survival from the Iraqi and Afghanistan conquests, or the USA is just pussyfooting around in Libya.

This prolonged campaign of bombing and bungling by the United States is not doing anyone any good. Why don’t they just get the job done and get the hell out of Libya? This prevarication is becoming tiresome, and the longer it goes on, the more lives that are lost unnecessarily.

Even South African President Jacob Zuma has failed miserably to convince the tyrant of Libya to vacate office, and they’re supposed to be bosom buddies. This is his second or third attempt, two of which required a personal visit to Libya. I wonder why? Something’s just not kosher with these trips, but I suppose only time will reveal the truth.

Will you guys please get Gaddafi so that the world can focus on that other tyrant, Ali Abdullah Saleh of Yemen…while the infighting erupts in Libya.

The Naked Emperor Oscars by Zapiro

Good ol’ Zapiro! He’s spot on once again with what’s happening on the African continent. Amazing how a cartoon can say so much in so little space.

Mail & Gaurdian, February 25

Is it possible that Gaddafi will be the next to fall?

Muammar al-Gaddafi, pictured in 2009

Image by BlatantNews.com via Flickr

These are certainly exciting times in North Africa. With Mubarak and Ben Ali, freshly deposed, the recent unrest in Libya may just be the precursor to the final obliteration of 4 decades of autocratic rule by Muammar Gaddafi.

Gaddafi, Brotherly Leader and Guide of the Revolution who it has been said, had dreams of becoming the ruler of the African Continent, may soon become just another statistic of the recent awakening of the people’s of Africa. Except for the other despotic regimes in Africa, and misguided supporters in the South African ruling elite, I have no doubt that many people across the entire world will be relieved to see the back of Gaddafi…hanging from a noose preferably.

Recent reports by Human Rights Watch that the death toll from the unrest has passed 100, is cause for concern as it points to Gaddafi digging in to hold onto power. One can only hope that there are no further deaths. Unfortunately the reality of these situations indicate that more deaths will follow, before this monster steps down peacefully, or is taken down forcefully.

The ramifications of these revolts are being felt across the world by all politicians who have adopted similar positions of inhumane leadership. While our leaders in South Africa have not plumbed the depths of tyrannical rule yet, the warning signs of them having set foot on that shameful road, are visible to all but those with their heads up their backsides. For now our ANC leaders, even those in the ANC Youth League who are aspirant future despots, have convinced themselves that they are safe.

Already there is discontent and upheaval across the country due to lack of service delivery and transparency on how local leaders are selected by the ruling Party. It’s only a matter of time before their safety bubble is burst…