Dog Help Zimbabwe!

Protestors check their props ahead of a birthd...

Zimbabwe elections

The most recent elections are a thing of the past. And like the past, they certainly look neither free nor fair.

The tyrant Robert Mugabe looks set to serve another term in office, and judging by his own boasts he will continue to rule until death mercifully removes his revolting presence from the face of this beautiful, but ravaged land.

Since that bumbling fool Morgan Tsvangirai who stood against Mugabe on two previous occasions is most certainly too weak and ineffectual to do something about it, Zimbabwe looks to have two options for redemption:

  1. Dogs of war liberating them in what could be a bloody struggle
  2. Or that dog himself, Mugabe having a miraculous change of heart and returning to civilized democratic governorship.

Even if the second option looks forlorn, it’s about the best we can hope for.

God hates Zimbabwe… and must be a trifle miffed at South Africa too

If the maniac who is currently ruling Zimbabwe is right about God’s intentions for him, and if this deity does indeed exist, then he, she or it must surely hate that country and its people.

The loathsome human in question, one Robert Gabriel Mugabe has been in power for

Original caption: President of Zimbabwe Robert...

Image via Wikipedia

more than 30 years, and is steadily transforming it into one humongous Zimbabwe Ruin. And he believes that God has chosen him to protect Zimbabwe from the “marauding imperialists.”

I am lucky God has given me this longer life than others to be with you. I cannot let you down. I cannot leave you on your own.

Now if you happen to be a marauding imperialist, know that God hates you too. Either that, or you’re just a figment of the imagination like this deity that Mugabe holds so dear.

While ordinary Zimbabweans show up as apathetic at best, their only hope at opposition to Monster Mugabe appears to be a bumbling, whiner who seems to be as interested in power for the sake of it, as the incumbent. Morgan Tsvangirai, far from being a threat, actually makes Insane Bob look like a desirable leader.

But the hating does not stop there. Some of God’s ire seems to be focussed on neighbouring South Africa which has been encumbered with a bunch of thieves to run the country, while outwardly masquerading as a liberation movement. And surprise, surprise, these louts who have already turned South Africa into their personal fiefdom, have publicly given their support [for his re-election to President] to Mad Bob Mugabe, so that he can rape Zimbabwe for another five years.

With benevolence like this, who needs the Devil?