The comedian doth show his hand…

I have really nothing to write about this evening, but I found this blog post in the Mail & Gaurdian by John Vlismas, a South African stand-up comedian and would like to share his real-life stand-up beliefs with you:

Why doesn’t God pay tax? I’m not suggesting that God actually does the transfer. He has elected representatives among us, apparently — and authorised them, allegedly, to collect funds on his behalf. Some of them have outfits and everything. The ruling that God’s money is safe from SARS can only ensure that shysters and thieves breed under and cling to his holy hem. If we audited churches and had them cough up, surely we would help create a better average quality of believer, surely? Wouldn’t the faithful like the idea that we assist them and close loopholes in tax laws that will keep the worms out? Why would you resist such a suggestion? Because we hate scrutinising our strongest beliefs — faith is like writing or music — the popular kinds are seldom any good. Questioning what you believe is not to destroy your belief, it’s to make sure the thing you believe in has foundations — a house built on rock, I think it says.

Catch the rest at Father, Son and tax evader.

Don’t drink and drive…you may run into some police officers who haven’t mastered the decimal system yet

I came across this blog post in Mail & Gaurdian’s Thought Leader titled Fuck the police and realized we’re in much more serious trouble than I thought. I think it’s pretty much accepted by now that our police officers are not the brightest, most honest or competent men in uniform, but it is just plain ludicrous when policemen accountable for handling an alcohol testing instrument cannot tell which is a higher number, 0.04 or 0.010.

On a related note, only recently I wrote about how ANC spokesperson, Jackson Mthembu was arrested for driving under the influence, and how the police at the Mowbray police station were reluctant to process him because of his political connections. Well, it now turns out that there are moves to suspend the use of the Dräger breathalyzer machines (one of which was used to test Mthembu as being over three times the legal limit) because of concerns over its certification and calibration.

This development coming so soon after the arrest has led to suspicions that the ANC-aligned National Prosecuting Authority are trying to influence the outcome of the impending DUI case against Mthembu. It brings back memories about how a certain President escaped prosecution from fraud and corruption charges when the law was conveniently circumnavigated in his favor. Do rats smell?

May I suggest that the entire police force be recalibrated to perform the duties expected of law-keepers, and all our ruling politicians be certified as manipulative, thieving assholes?