After typing the title, I realised it sounds strange; The Seeker by The Who? I’ll explain…
I’ve just been informed that my father is in hospital on a ventilator system; and the prognosis does not look too good. It’s not unexpected, as he’s been on dialysis for many years and his condition has slowly deteriorated. The only surprise is that he has clung on for so long, through some really dire episodes. That tenacity is a testament to the tough life he’s had to deal with, selflessly rearing his siblings and children after the early death of his own parents, through the hard years of Apartheid.
As I sit here, 600 kilometers away, feeling totally helpless, all I can do is to reflect on his life. The fact that I’m able to write a blog, is largely due to my father’s perseverance in making sure that I received a good education; at some cost to his own well-being probably. For that, I’ll be eternally grateful; I’ll never be able to repay the debt, not that he has ever asked for any such consideration. I still sometimes ponder being a disappointment to him for deciding not to marry and produce the obligatory grandchildren, but he has never forced the issue; unlike my mother who has been quite vocal about her expectations.
To stimulate my thoughts about the realities of life and death, I stumbled across this song by The Who in my collection which I quite enjoyed in the way it was used at the beginning of the film, Religulous by Bill Maher. It’s been one of my all-time favorites, and I think the lyrics are amazingly philosophical; perfect for introspection.
I hope you’ll join me in introspection:
The Seeker
I’ve looked under chairs
I’ve looked under tables
I’ve tried to find the key
To fifty million fables
[Chorus:]
They call me The Seeker
I’ve been searching low and high
I won’t get to get what I’m after
Till the day I die
I asked Bobby Dylan
I asked The Beatles
I asked Timothy Leary
But he couldn’t help me either
[Chorus]
People tend to hate me
‘Cause I never smile
As I ransack their homes
They want to shake my hand
Focusing on nowhere
Investigating miles
I’m a seeker
I’m a really desperate man
I won’t get to get what I’m after
Till the day I die
I learned how to raise my voice in anger
Yeah, but look at my face, ain’t this a smile?
I’m happy when life’s good
And when it’s bad I cry
I’ve got values but I don’t know how or why
I’m looking for me
You’re looking for you
We’re looking in at each other
And we don’t know what to do
Lenny Says 