The Waterkloof Air Force Base Mystery

There’s a strange military base just about north of Johannesburg where mass corrupters occasionally sneak in and mass murderers sneak out, and nobody in charge seems to know how they do it.

The spooks in government tell us that this base is a National Key Point (NKP). For those who don’t know, an NKP is an area designated as of strategic importance against sabotage, and is thus of great importance for security purposes. If nobody (in government) knows how corrupt cronies or heinous murderers sneak in and out, it is very troubling for ordinary citizens.

A couple of years ago, a politically connected family managed to sneak their extended family into the country through this military base. They all went to a wedding, attended by The President of South Africa and other high-ranking politicians. They later told us that none of them had any idea how some of the other guests had arrived in the country through the Air Force Base. It was a complete mystery they told us. Some low ranking officials were blamed, others were promoted to cushy jobs and the mystery was neatly left to lie under a massive carpet.

Just last week, a mass murderer, a guest of the same government, managed the same feat; this time in the opposite direction, even while a High Court was busy compelling him to stay and be arrested. Again, us citizens were told that it was a complete mystery how. The only difference this time, is that the same government is trying to convince a High Court judge, that he is as stupid as the government thinks the rest of its citizens are.

Will he be fooled? More importantly, will he be able to find government liable and enforce a judgement? Time will tell. It’s an outcome that has serious ramifications for a democracy that is currently under siege.

Meanwhile, the citizens wait with baited breath to see which low ranking officials will be blamed, and whom will be promoted to cushy jobs in other areas of government. We also wait to find out if the bigger mystery of why the majority of citizens continue to submissively accept complete and bullshit from the government.

December Road Trip

It’s time to hit the road. Tomorrow we embark on an epic South African road trip.
Johannesburg – Graaff-Reinet – Plettenberg Bay – Cape Town – Colesberg – Bloemfontein – Durban – Johannesburg
A total of 3886km, excluding the local trips in each destination. That takes care of nearly the whole of December.
And so I got to go pack and catch some zzzzzz’s…

Pub crawling

The girls and I did a spot of pub crawling Friday night. In truth it was only two bars, and one was more of a modern cocktail bar. But the latter, which I’m glad I agreed to go to, is a genuine bar, an iconic establishment with a deliciously rich history.

The Radium Beer Hall situated in Jan Smuts Avenue, Orange Grove is touted as the oldest surviving bar and grill in Johannesburg. Established in 1929 as a tea room by the Khalil family, it sold liquor illegally to Black customers who were barred from drinking during the era of separatism. These days it serves a cosmopolitan mix of customers and has an unmistakable Portuguese character. Posters and photographs which adorn the walls, will engage any visitor for a long time, until the alcohol kicks in, and you’re trying hard to listen to your mates over the obscene din of tipsy patrons.

Undated photo from Radium’s website

On this Friday night, the place was full to bursting and made a mockery of the sign on one of the entrance doors which proclaim a capacity limited to 100 customers.  But that did not deter the live jazz quartet from vying for the customers’ attention. They were lively too, and had me tapping my foot in appreciation while trying desperately to listen to the girls regale me with tales of their past visits to this wonderful oasis in a run-down Johannesburg.

I had visited this bar before, nearly two decades earlier and had all but forgotten that the place existed. I was really glad that this watering hole had so much staying power. It’s all good, as I had an impression that the old-style bar trade was dying out, rapidly being replaced by upmarket, but characterless cocktail bars and what-not.

*****

On the subject of bars, the 10th Anniversary edition of Sawday’s Special Places Pubs and Inns of England and Wales is out and lists the winners of this year’s competition.

Rugglestone Inn

The one I would kill to visit some day, and spend some quality drinking time at, is Rugglestone Inn in Widecombe-in-the-Moor, Devon. Now that’s a truly awesome pub.

While Britain has literally thousands of pubs, according to this article, they’re slowly but surely dwindling in numbers too. What a pity.

Do you have any favorites around the world?

Mozambique Road Trip – Part 2

Being a fan of solitude, I usually embark on my road trips alone. This time however, I invited three friends to join me – the thought of driving all alone through a previously troubled African country at the back of my mind.

We arrived at Ngwenya Lodge, our stop-over point to Mozambique in the early evening, after a leisurely 5-hour drive from Johannesburg. The Lodge which is separated from the Kruger National Park (KNP) by the Crocodile River, is a sort of home-away-from-home with all the mod-cons and more. There are many features and attractions within the complex to keep the average person happily engaged for a week, even a beauty salon for the women.

My first sighting of wildlife that night was right on the porch of my chalet. I discovered the reason this bird was clinging defensively to the wall, the next morning when I spotted its nest in the porch rafters up near the thatched roof of the chalet.

Bird on a Wall

The next morning, we were visited by this rather noisy raft of wild geese who were intent on getting in on some of our breakfast action on the porch.

Kolgans

Later that morning we noticed this Common Iguana surveying its surroundings after emerging from the dam about 20 meters from the chalet. Incidently, a few years ago during one of my previous visits to the lodge, I woke one morning to find a hippo in the dam which had strayed onto the resort property from the KNP.

Iguana

Iguana at Dam’s Edge

After spending some time on the viewing deck of the resort that overlooks the KNP, and spotting no animals across the river, we spent the rest of the day driving around aimlessly around the little town of Komatipoort, and did some shopping in preparation for our departure across the border into Mozambique, the following day.

Mozambique Road Trip – Part 1

The Mozambique border post is about 450 Km from Johannesburg, just outside the little town of Komatipoort. Xai Xai in Mozambique is a further 290 Km north-east, using the toll route passing by the Capital city of Maputo.

My eventual destination, the beach resort of Zona Braza, was a further 40 Km away, 10 Km of which consisted of a hair-raising drive along a winding dirt road through dense bush. This road is best suited to a 4-wheel drive vehicle, although my front-wheel drive car managed fine, except for the night of our arrival when we got bogged down in the soft sand right inside the resort.

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A little pre-trip preparation is necessary to cross the border from South Africa into Mozambique when travelling by car. Here are a few quick tips to prepare:

1. Passports must be valid for at least six months.
2. Make a copy of your vehicle registration papers. Have it certified at a police station or other organ of justice. You will also need a letter from the bank authorising you to take your vehicle over the border, is still under loan contract.
3. Purchase third-party and travel insurance for the duration of your stay.
4. Have two sets of breakdown warning triangles and reflector jackets on the vehicle. These can be purchased at most camping gear stores. A decal with the symbol “ZA” is required to be stuck on your car, preferably at the rear to indicate South African Nationality. Appropriate decals for vehicles that are towing trailers or caravans are also necessary.
5. Keep all documentation, including passports handy in a folder inside the cabin of the vehicle, as regular checks are performed my the Mozambique Police, all your route.
6. Adhere to the speed limits as they are enforced very strictly. Trust me, it is unpleasant enough being stopped for routine checks; being stopped for a transgression could be much worse.
7. It is advisable to consult your medical practitioner about taking malaria tablets before the trip. These are not available over the counter at pharmacies and require a prescription.

In the next installment, I will describe my short stay at the Ngwenya Lodge resort just before the border post, which adjoins the Kruger National Park. This stop was necessary to break up the long journey to my eventual destination, especially since driving at an average of 80 Km/h in Mozambique is very tiring.

Bumper charity weekend ahead

The guys and I have a hectic weekend ahead of us as we take on our most ambitious charity project in the 12 or so years we’ve been doing this.

We’ve invited some of the poorest families from an economically depressed residential area South West of Johannesburg to join us for a lunch the guys will be cooking, and we’ll also be distributing food hampers to each family. We’ve secured the assistance of a local school which has kindly allowed us use of the premises, and a few classrooms and the ablution facilities.

The classrooms are for the use of a general practitioner, a dentist and an optometrist who have magnanimously donated their time and services to conduct basic medical screening and checks on all the invited folks who are in such need. The SA Blood Services (SANBS) will also be at hand to perhaps carry out some tests, present a talk, and hopefully collect some much-needed blood from willing donors.

Tomorrow, we’ll finish up some last-minute shopping and spend the day putting together the food hampers which will consist of basic dry provisions, vegetables and fruits. The guys will then spend the rest of the afternoon preparing the meat, vegetables etcetera for the traditional Indian chicken briyani, we will be cooking in two huge pots over an open fire at the school.

The cooking will start very early Sunday morning. Tables and chairs will be set up for the few hundred people who are expected, and some classrooms will be prepared for the health professionals to do their thing.

I’m expecting to be exhausted by Sunday afternoon, but gratified at pulling off this mammoth [for a handful of guys] task.

Zuma’s zizi

I’m pretty certain that news of the well hung painting in the Goodman Gallery in Johannesburg by artist Brett Murray of President Jacob Zuma, is spreading like wildfire and causing great consternation and anger in certain circles.

Well that’s to be expected, but beyond the issue of freedom of speech which this whole episode has evoked [yet again], is the deep-seated anger that resides in an artist who was inspired to depict the President in a manner that is shocking, but yet speaks of an alarming truth about the political nature and moral character of the man, that many South Africans share.

Art is meant to elicit strong emotional responses; shock being a prized reaction. This particular work titled The Spear very effectively portrays the foreboding that is playing on the minds of many disgruntled South Africans at the moment.

Opinion is divided on this issue, with liberals generally agreeing that it should stay hung, citing freedom of speech as the determinant, to genuine Zuma-haters buzzing with absolute glee [and who could blame them] and the conservative types expressing shock and disgust. I imagine that there are some who are unsure about this one, but nobody takes fence-sitters seriously. By and large freedom of speech is winning.

However one of government’s spin doctors waxed disingenuously about rights and dignity and other claptrap, saying that the painting:

…perpetuates a shocking new culture by some sections of the artistic world, of using vulgar methods of communicating about leading figures in the country, including especially the president.

But Mac Maharaj, who’s been known to lose his foot in his mouth on more than a few occasions, is clearly forgetting the shocking culture of rampant corruption, incompetence, arrogance and bigotry that his government, represented by Jacob Zuma, perpetuates with gay abandon since coming into power.

Yes Mac, we hear you, but please go hang yourself next to the painting of your master.

zizi, French for penis.

The march for economic freedom, or the Juju shuffle up the M1

"picked" from jacarandafm.com

His name is Juju, otherwise known as Julius Malema, and heads up the youth wing of the African National Congress (ANC) – you’ll be amazed how much trouble an empty head can both cause, and get into.

Haven’t heard of him huh? That’s okay. You’re probably not from South Africa, and you have your own problems with scumbag politicians fucking up your own country. Right?

Anyway over here in sunny South Africa, Juju has been in the news far too much recently. His big mouth, and dubious lifestyle has got him into a heap of trouble, most notably with his parent organization the ANC, who also happen to run the country…more or less, mostly less. I’m not so sure if he’s in much trouble with the law. We all suspect [with good reason] that his parent organization owns the law and can make any trouble they’re in, disappear – much like our taxes.

His trouble with the ANC is believed to be because he is at loggerheads with a certain faction within the organization who in turn is at loggerheads with a certain other faction within the rotting carcase that was once headed by Nelson Mandela. We can’t be 100% certain of this, but most knowledgeable people seem to think so.

There was a time when Juju was 100% for the leader of the ruling faction [most South Africans will remember that this was around the time when it was revealed that Juju scored only 20% for woodwork at school]. Since then he’s become a whole lot fatter, and it’s thought that this could be due to all the tenders he’s been scoring for being 100% for the leader. But all that’s changed now and if we follow everything we’re being fed in the news, Juju’s 100% for himself only.

A little while ago, someone [bastard – may the fleas of a thousand camels…] whispered in Juju’s ear that “political freedom is useless without economic freedom” and he interpreted it to mean that all mines should be nationalised, jobs be handed out to the unemployable, and shares on the stock exchange be distributed freely among the people. Since this epiphany, Juju has hung onto this silly dogma like a hungry you know what.

Which leads us to today and this silly march up or alongside the M1, from Johannesburg to the Stock Exchange Building in Sandton. Juju has branded it the “March for Economic Freedom,” although it’s debatable whether he understands anything about the economy or freedom for that matter. Juju is becoming quite the politician – by being very adept at misleading and exploiting the common people.

Those of us who work hard for the pittance we earn, know that this march is all about demanding for shit that you don’t want to work for. It’s just an extension of the culture of entitlement that the ANC has worked very hard to cultivate over nearly two decades in office, while simultaneously fucking up the country. Yes, it’s commonly thought that their biggest achievement in all that time was to learn how to raid the treasury effortlessly, while sidestepping every attempt to hold them accountable.

Yeah, Juju, you know what? No amount of marching or singing or dancing is going to suddenly make jobs appear, mines to become nationalised or shares to be distributed. You may have convinced 5000 [estimated] gullible idiots to shuffle along the M1 to your delusional tune, but all that’s generated so far is howls of laughter.

March on into the Indian Ocean, you pompous numbskull…

A ridiculous fight…

Right off the bat, let me state quite plainly that the hate speech case against ANC Youth League leader Julius Malema currently before the Equality Court in Johannesburg, is absurd. It’s an indictment on both the blinkered fools who initiated the legal action and the bigots, who have rallied together to defend it.

The pro-Afrikaaner group Afriforum who brought the case against Julius Malema for singing a song translated to mean “kill the Boer [Farmer],” are misguided in their attempts, though it may seem noble by many people, notably Afrikaners. According to constitutional experts such as Pierre de Vos, the definitions of hate speech are far too broad and may render ordinary everyday speech as objectionable, depending on the fuzzy sensibilities of the person or persons it is directed at.

Julius Malema on the other hand, is not the innocent victim here – far from it. Being the useful tool that he no doubt is, his insistence on singing the song “kill the Boer” 17 years into what the ANC government considers a democracy, has to be regarded with suspicion. Hateful or hurtful language such as that depicted in the song would not have been out-of-place during South Africa’s apartheid years. But why now? Can it be a delayed act of revenge against the former oppressors. Surely not – most of the youth today could not have been so affected by apartheid 17 years ago to the extent that it would merit an act of vengeance after so many years.

Surely there is a hidden agenda by the Youth League leader and by extension the ANC, in becoming embroiled in this hate speech saga at this point in time in the history of the country. Why would a liberated people still be singing about “killing” who they envisage to be their former oppressors after all these years?

Filter in the fact that it’s election time and things start falling into place.

It has not escaped the attention of many wise people, that the ANC are in desperate need of attention being diverted away from the now routine disclosures by opposition political parties and other organizations of the ANC’s many, many failures in delivering services to the electorate, monumental corruption, nepotism, fraud, misconduct, gross incompetence and other forms of chicanery within the ANC government and structures.

This hate speech case before Equality Court provides a rather convenient side-show for the ANC supporters who are now being bussed in to congregate outside the court buildings, and be entertained by hired large screen television displays. Not to mention the bodyguards in sharp suits and dark glasses, brandishing menacing-looking firearms, that would not be out-of-place in a military invasion. And what about the ANC bigwigs who put in both daily and star-attraction attendances to court and who fire up the crowds with empty rhetoric? It’s a goddamn freakshow!

Right now it’s looking like a win-win situation for the ANC only. Afriforum have given them the perfect vehicle to demonstrate what they are very good at: being struggle heroes. That’s all they have to offer the people, because they have failed at governing.

And even if Afriforum get a favorable court ruling, the ANC and Malema will still win by getting a rap over the knuckles and perhaps a fine…which we the taxpayers will eventually have to cough up. Actually, Malema will be hoping to lose the case; it will be his proof to the people that they’re still being victimized, and that the [false] revolution he is calling for is justified.

Some thoughts on the death of my father

Its been just over a week since my father passed away after a protracted illness. Now that the business of laying him to rest, and the memorial service has been concluded, I finally have a chance to pen some thoughts about the experience, which I admit does not make for particularly pleasant reading.

During my years at school, I read a wonderful quip by someone, which goes something like “Death is a dreary, dull affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it.” Brilliant, isn’t it? Until it comes calling at your door, off course! And now it was my turn to deal with it.

My father had been quite ill for many years. In the last year or so, his dialysis sessions were increased to three times a week, but his condition steadily declined. His death was not unexpected; however it was delayed by his tenacious will to live, quite evidently through a lot of pain. The painful expression that was almost permanently etched on his face, still dog my mind. Amazingly however, he insisted on functioning normally and doing the things that were of quintessence right to the end.

This situation posed a few questions which I tried to analyze for a time, even just prior to his death, but I could come to no real conclusions. The natural evolutionary tendency for humans is to try to survive, even if the body is in revolt. But is it desirable for a person to endure pain and suffering , especially when afflicted with a terminal illness, as in the case of my father? And while its natural for family and friends to hope for someone who is ill, to hang on for as long as possible, is it not somewhat selfish in the case of terminal illness. Is it not possible that our wish for longevity, could place pressure on terminally ill people to force themselves to live a little longer, usually under tremendous pain? And off course, watching someone waste away in pain, is extremely distressing for family and friends; not to mention the burden that care-giving places on them. A vicious cycle indeed!

I received news of him being admitted to hospital about a week before his actual passing on. With the above thoughts playing out in my mind, I delayed traveling down to Durban from Johannesburg, secretly, irrationally hoping that he would pull out of this latest setback, like he had done so many times before. On the advice from my brother that the prognosis did not look very good this time, I finally decided to make the 600 kilometer trip. Again, with irrational hope, I packed just a few jeans and t-shirts, thinking that somehow he would surprise us once again, and I would be happily back on my way to Johannesburg in a few days.

I didn’t get to see him alive one last time. He passed away while I was in transit…

I remember arriving in Durban to the smell of fireworks, and receiving the news from my tearful mother. Strangely I felt no immediate grief. I was actually relieved. Is that wrong? Does being relieved when death ends pain and suffering, constitute immoral behaviour? I should certainly think not. Yes, I’m sad, but I’m happy too, for the end of my father’s pain, and just as importantly, the end of the anguish endured by his family.

The funeral did pose a moral dilemma for me, being the eldest child. I agonized for a little while over participating in the elaborate Hindu funeral rituals, but realized that supporting the family in a time of bereavement was more important than my secular principles. Although I did not participate fully in all the prayer rituals, I did ensure that I gave them my full support and was present throughout. And, the arrival of my father’s only surviving brother from Canada, did relieve some of pressure off me. At times my rational self did get the better of me when I questioned the logic of some of the religious practices, but I relented soon enough.

I volunteered to pay tribute to my father at a memorial service held yesterday, and I managed to write down a few thoughts, but quickly had to scupper that when my sister, suspecting that I would use the opportunity to speak about my religious and political beliefs, asked me politely to refrain from turning the eulogy into a lecture. I had to resort to winging it, and I suppose I did a fairly decent job, since no one in the largely conservative, religious audience, had a heart attack.

For me, life goes on. I just hope that the rest of the family can put this tragic episode behind them fairly quickly and live their lives normally again.