The march for economic freedom, or the Juju shuffle up the M1

"picked" from jacarandafm.com

His name is Juju, otherwise known as Julius Malema, and heads up the youth wing of the African National Congress (ANC) – you’ll be amazed how much trouble an empty head can both cause, and get into.

Haven’t heard of him huh? That’s okay. You’re probably not from South Africa, and you have your own problems with scumbag politicians fucking up your own country. Right?

Anyway over here in sunny South Africa, Juju has been in the news far too much recently. His big mouth, and dubious lifestyle has got him into a heap of trouble, most notably with his parent organization the ANC, who also happen to run the country…more or less, mostly less. I’m not so sure if he’s in much trouble with the law. We all suspect [with good reason] that his parent organization owns the law and can make any trouble they’re in, disappear – much like our taxes.

His trouble with the ANC is believed to be because he is at loggerheads with a certain faction within the organization who in turn is at loggerheads with a certain other faction within the rotting carcase that was once headed by Nelson Mandela. We can’t be 100% certain of this, but most knowledgeable people seem to think so.

There was a time when Juju was 100% for the leader of the ruling faction [most South Africans will remember that this was around the time when it was revealed that Juju scored only 20% for woodwork at school]. Since then he’s become a whole lot fatter, and it’s thought that this could be due to all the tenders he’s been scoring for being 100% for the leader. But all that’s changed now and if we follow everything we’re being fed in the news, Juju’s 100% for himself only.

A little while ago, someone [bastard – may the fleas of a thousand camels…] whispered in Juju’s ear that “political freedom is useless without economic freedom” and he interpreted it to mean that all mines should be nationalised, jobs be handed out to the unemployable, and shares on the stock exchange be distributed freely among the people. Since this epiphany, Juju has hung onto this silly dogma like a hungry you know what.

Which leads us to today and this silly march up or alongside the M1, from Johannesburg to the Stock Exchange Building in Sandton. Juju has branded it the “March for Economic Freedom,” although it’s debatable whether he understands anything about the economy or freedom for that matter. Juju is becoming quite the politician – by being very adept at misleading and exploiting the common people.

Those of us who work hard for the pittance we earn, know that this march is all about demanding for shit that you don’t want to work for. It’s just an extension of the culture of entitlement that the ANC has worked very hard to cultivate over nearly two decades in office, while simultaneously fucking up the country. Yes, it’s commonly thought that their biggest achievement in all that time was to learn how to raid the treasury effortlessly, while sidestepping every attempt to hold them accountable.

Yeah, Juju, you know what? No amount of marching or singing or dancing is going to suddenly make jobs appear, mines to become nationalised or shares to be distributed. You may have convinced 5000 [estimated] gullible idiots to shuffle along the M1 to your delusional tune, but all that’s generated so far is howls of laughter.

March on into the Indian Ocean, you pompous numbskull…