What the devil?

In the latest bout of absurdity from the world of pious prats, Iran has banned spiky and other unorthodox hairstyles for men.

Apparently the self-appointed terrestrial regulators of the celestial overlords have decided to condemn trendy hairstyles as “devil worshipping,” and pronounced them in contravention of Islamic regulations. The head of Iran’s Barber’s Union Mostafa Govahi, is quite pleased with this ruling because the prosecution of his fashionable but unregistered competitors, would send business to unionised barbers who toe the religious line.

Currently, those ghastly bushy beards (which for some inexplicable reason is propitious to the celestial overlords) are not compulsory for Iranian men, but who knows how long these men will be allowed to keep good clean faces, what with the theological tyrants constantly looking for new ways to heap misery upon mankind.

Perhaps it’s only a matter of time before Iran’s Underwear Union declares anything but Bridgette Jones type undergarments to be religiously legal. Maybe the Mormons can get a piece of that action.

Don’t send me back to Iran

Having managed to recently finish reading the graphic novel Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi (I’m not a fan of graphic novels, I must confess), I became quite fascinated with the rich history of Iran, previously known as Persia. At its peak, the Persian Empire first under Cyrus the Elder and then Darius the Great, was the largest empire in history.

Having survived invasions by the Greeks, Arabs, Turks and Mongols in its 6000-year history, it could have still been a great country, after having lost Empire status. But it all came apart in 1979 with the Iranian Revolution when it became an Islamic Republic. The events leading up to and after is described quite poignantly from a personal perspective by Satrapi in Persepolis, which incidentally was made into a film which I  enjoyed more than the novel.

Persepolis (Wikimedia Commons)

If it had survived, the City of Persepolis which was built by Darius the Great, could easily have been one of the Seven Wonders of the World, displacing one of the incumbents. Who would not want to live in a country hosting such a great city?

Extract: Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi

Far too many people it would seem. Marjane herself was coerced into leaving by her parents while still quite young, after having witnessed and being subjected to the horrors of war with Iraq and the rise of Islamic fundamentalism after the Iranian Revolution. While she did return briefly after a few years studying in Europe, she eventually left permanently for France.

And another…

Ramin Forghani is an Iranian who has been studying for the last two years for his Masters Degree in Environmental Engineering in Glasgow, Scotland. While there he founded the Iranian Atheists Association, became the vice chairman of the Scottish Secular Society, and is the chairman of Ex-Muslims Scotland. Yes, another magnificent apostate!

Extract: Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi

Ramin is appealing his rejection by the Court of Session for asylum. He feels, quite justifiably that his life is at risk if he is returned to Iran. He cites the case of Soheil Arabi who was sentenced to death for the grossly unjust law of blasphemy in Iran. And just last month the BBC reported that six Iranians were sentenced to a year in prison and 91 lashes for (wait for it!) dancing with the opposite sex who were not wearing headscarves, to Pharrell Williams’ song Happy.

WTF!

I’m no fan of pop music and listening to Pharrell Williams should be punishable. Six lashes would have been quite adequate (just kidding), but unless you’re gay, who the fuck do you dance with? And this bullshit about mandated scarf wearing is just plain outrageous. Modern Iran is definitely not a place to be.

I sincerely wish that the powers that be, grant Ramin Forghani his wish to remain in Scotland. Seriously, bigoted Iran does not deserve such an outstanding citizen.

Clerics! STFU!

It has occurred to me that if I had an American dollar for every time a cleric from one of the world’s major religions said something profoundly dumb, I would be pretty darned rich. If you threw in the insane things holy men of all the minor religions and cults say, I could possibly pay Mark Zuckerberg to like this post.

Why should what clerics say be of concern to us?

(a) Because credulous people tend to believe without questioning and then do stupid things, which may (and usually does) cause harm to others.

(b) Or, crazier people go further and act on these irrational utterances, which results in murder and mayhem.

In recent years, there’s been some real pearls of (un)wisdom emanating from the Middle East. These two recent incidences may on the surface seem harmless enough, but they do much long-term damage in my opinion:

Grand Ayatollah Nasser Makarem Shirazi of Iran has issued a fatwa basically decreeing that high-speed internet is against Sharia and moral and human standards. What utter rubbish!

It’s quite obvious that this grand idiot has pulled this decree from out his arse, because no sacred religious text I ever heard off, even knows what high-speed broadband or the internet is. Furthermore, the Grand Arsehole of Iran has pretty fucked-up moral and human standards.

Then there’s ISIS. Yes, The Islamic State of Iraq and Syria, so much in the news recently, whose utterly barbaric behaviour which would be the envy of the Mongols, have decreed that Philosophy and Chemistry are against the laws of God and are thus banned in schools in the Syrian city of Raqqa.

For the love of Thor, show me any religious text that states that Philosophy and Chemistry both, are against the laws of some obtuse God, and I will stomp and shit on that text.

Now hear me clerics and religious fundamentalists of the world. Shut The Fuck Up!

The Brotherhood of Misogynists

The use of religion and culture to violate women’s rights is a vile and cowardly pursuit, but is distressingly prevalent throughout the world.

The U.N. Commission on the Status of Woman which has been lobbying since 1946 for the advancement of women, is at the moment pushing for acceptance of the declaration on woman’s rights. However Egypt, Iran and Russia together with the Vatican (no surprises there!) are “threatening to derail the women’s rights declaration by objecting to language on sexual, reproductive and gay rights.” Egypt in opposition, has unashamedly proposed an amendment which will allow men to once again hide behind religious and cultural values.

In a disturbing parallel move, Egypt’s Muslim Brotherhood posted a statement on its website which claims that the declaration will among other things, destroy society by allowing women to travel freely, work, use contraception and control the household finances. That kind of thinking would be hysterical if it was not so shockingly infantile and backward. Even more worrying is that according to the Coalition for Sexual and Bodily Rights in Muslim Societies, this is a position favoured by many Arab governments.

You will no doubt laugh hysterically, but these are the ten objections to the declaration contained in the statement on the Muslim Brotherhood’s website, that they believe will lead to decadence:

1. Granting girls full sexual freedom, as well as the freedom to decide their own gender and the gender of their partners (ie, choose to have normal or homo- sexual relationships), while raising the age of marriage.
2. Providing contraceptives for adolescent girls and training them to use those, while legalizing abortion to get rid of unwanted pregnancies, in the name of sexual and reproductive rights.
3. Granting equal rights to adulterous wives and illegitimate sons resulting from adulterous relationships.
4. Granting equal rights to homosexuals, and providing protection and respect for prostitutes.
5. Giving wives full rights to file legal complaints against husbands accusing them of rape or sexual harassment, obliging competent authorities to deal husbands punishments similar to those prescribed for raping or sexually harassing a stranger.
6. Equal inheritance (between men and women).
7. Replacing guardianship with partnership, and full sharing of roles within the family between men and women such as: spending, child care and home chores.
8. Full equality in marriage legislation such as: allowing Muslim women to marry non-Muslim men, and abolition of polygamy, dowry, men taking charge of family spending, etc.
9. Removing the authority of divorce from husbands and placing it in the hands of judges, and sharing all property after divorce.
10. Cancelling the need for a husband’s consent in matters like: travel, work, or use of contraception.

This retarded mentality roughly translates into “Woe be unto men if we can’t have multiple wives, but heaven help us if we allow them to travel freely, use contraception, file for divorce, accuse us of rape, decide how to spend money… and fuck other women.”

Why are these men so afraid of women?

Bones of the Hills by Conn Iggulden [Book 3 in the Conqueror Series]

Upon completing the third book in this riveting series, I realized that each book had me feeling a little different emotionally about the great Mongol warrior Genghis Khan.

In the first book I felt nothing but admiration and respect for the young Khan who grew up surviving great odds to ultimately unite the Mongol nation under his rule. In the second book I was left in awe of his ability to command thousands of men from different tribes, and fascinated by his sharp mind and tactical planning, but just a little apprehensive about the savagery he could unleash. In the third book I continued to marvel at his ambition to conquer, but was angered by his estranged relationship with his oldest son, Jochi, and appalled at the death and destruction he could bring about at the wave of a hand.

But ultimately I had to relent and admire one of the great men of history. It was also sad to see the mighty Genghis meet his end, just as he was about to embark on a second round of conquest in China.

Bones of the Hills focuses more on his relationship with his sons Chagatai, Ogedai and Tolui, but more especially his bitterness towards Jochi, his eldest son who he thinks was conceived through the rape of his wife. We are also made painfully aware of the bitter rivalry and hatred between Jochi and Chagatai, the heir favored by Genghis. Through this rivalry we sympathise with Jochi for his bravery and principles, while despising the cowardice of Chagatai. While Conn Iggulden chose to have Jochi killed on orders from Genghis for the purposes of this narrative, historically that is mere speculation because the circumstances of Jochi’s death are not clear in the records.

Also in the third installment of the Conqueror series we learn more about Tsubodai, The most successful and fearsome general in the Khan’s army of warriors, as they conquer the Muslim lands of Afghanistan and present-day Iran and Iraq. This books focuses on the battles with the Shah and later his son Jelaudin.

Genghis eventually rebukes his favoured second son Chagatai to name Ogedai as his heir. We are also briefly introduced to Kublai, son of Tolui, Genghis’s youngest son, who is the focus of later books in the series and eventually his successor.

After the sedentary pace of the second book, Bones of the Hills moves along quite briskly and it’s hard to put down. The death of Genghis Khan at the end is quite unexpected and leaves one a little deflated. However there is the fourth book to look forward to…

Kosher nail polish and lascivious Barbie dolls

Image via Wikipedia

Two online articles left me in stitches this afternoon, both of which point to the sheer absurdity of clerical interference in religion.

I don’t need to convince you that religion on its own can be amazingly daft in its prescriptions to mankind, but clerical interpretations over the centuries, and the concomitant add-on’s from them pushes them [religions] to lethally farcical limits. It also leaves non-believers pulling their hair out, despairing for the future of the human race.

The first post was about plain old nail polish. Up to now I thought they only came in different colours and made women’s fingers and toes look weird. I had no idea they came in halaal [kosher] and illicit [non-kosher] varieties too. I also had no idea that Muslim women were not allowed to adorn the non-kosher kind because it prevents water from touching the actual finger nail. It seems that this is a requirement before engaging in prayer. Should a Muslim women put on non-halaal nail polish, it would force her to use a removing agent, and then re-apply the varnish up to five times a day, to engage in the other requirement of this faith.

That’s all well and good, but I don’t for one minute believe that the Islamic faith has such a requirement. There’s ample reason to believe however, that a patriarchal shit-for-brains cleric introduced these requirements at some point in time during the often violent history of the Islamic faith. I really can’t imagine a god requiring water to touch your nails before you worshipped his tyrannical ass. That would be far too perverse, even for a god.

Image via Wikipedia

In the second post, the interference and dumb-fuckery of religious clerics is plainly stated. In Iran [quite possibly in other fascist Islamic countries too], the common Barbie doll is considered a destructive social and cultural influence and is banned. The only permitted dolls for children are supposed to be drab chunks of plastic, kitted out in “loose-fitting” clothing that covers it from head to toe. Exposed plastic would be an insult to the gods, if not to the retarded religious fuck’s who make up these asinine rules. They’re expecting their children to believe that every girl in the decadent West grows up to become a murderous slut.

Can you imagine a god who would prefer a young girl to have an AK47 instead of a Barbie doll? The clerics can. That’s why they make up this ridiculous shit.

Who’s to say that the clerics in Iran won’t start compelling young girls to paint only halaal nail polish on their dorky dolls in future?

A note to the eedyerts in power

Recently I’ve heard South Africa’s political form of government being referred to as a kleptocracy and even an idiocracy. But as the treasury is being raided to enrich a small minority who hold the reins of power, while proposing idiotic laws which are meant to curtail freedom of speech, these two terms will remain pertinent.

It’s therefore time to remind the klepto-idiots in power what DEMOCRACY really means. The simplest definition I can find is as follows:

government by the people; a form of government in which the supreme power is vested in the people and exercised directly by them or by their elected agents under a free electoral system

However it goes beyond that.  A few other characteristics of democracy are:

• All citizens are equal before the law [those who are politically connected are not more equal than others, as is currently the case]
• The freedom of all citizens are protected by a constitution [whatever happened to ours which was described as a model constitution?]
• The use of checks and balances through legislation ensures that there is no accumulation of power [why are those in power not satisfied with even a two-thirds majority?]
• Freedom of political expression, freedom of speech, and freedom of the press are essential so that everyone is informed [why are those in power proposing laws that will curtail these freedoms?]
• It goes without saying that civil liberties and human rights are sacrosanct [is this really the case in South Africa where certain individuals in power, not only are more right than others, but enjoy more rights than others]

It’s really simple; you just have to go back to the basics, which you seem to have abandoned in the mad rush to pig out at the trough. Try it; it will be good to feel human again.

While putting this piece together, I stumbled upon a marvellous blog called By The People at America.gov. Please take the time to watch some short videos  by young people from countries such as Nepal, Ethiopia, Spain, Indonesia and Colombia, which convey their idea of democracy, on the blog post titled What Do You Think Democracy Is? The one from Farbod Khoshtinat from Iran is particularly good and relevent to my message above.

And so it shall come to pass; there shall be no more bad-hair days in Iran

You might be forgiven for thinking that the banning of “decadent Western hairstyles” for men in Iran, is some sort of piss-poor, belated April Fools’ joke. You might be wrong, for it is true.

Yes, Iran’s Ministry of Culture and Islamic Guidance (no kidding; that kind of bullshit Ministry really does exist) has declared that only certain types of haircuts will be permitted in this holy cloud-cuckoo land in future; after the Modesty and Veil Festival to be exact (yep, no kidding either – that is indeed a festival held in Iran)

This is the type of patriarchal degeneracy that results when depraved clerics, wallowing in the past, are allowed to interpret dubious religious texts and make decrees that infringe on the human rights and dignity of ordinary people. And when politicians latch onto the mad ramblings of these religious nut-jobs, and appropriate it for their own devious ends, you have the makings of a tyranny.

Why they didn’t go the whole hog and declare that Iranian men should just wear hot-and-sticky pergolas over their entire heads, is not clear at this stage; but one can safely assume that that horror is in the pipeline, for when men become too uppity for their god-fearing boots.

I seriously think that we should all be very concerned that a country with religious and political freaks such as these, are claiming the right to develop nuclear weaponry. I’m not comfortable thinking about those grubby fingers which page through archaic religious nonsense, being held nervously over the little red buttons that make things go ka-boom.