Bring back Clarkson

Daddy didn’t give affection, no!
And the boy was something that mommy wouldn’t wear
King Jeremy The Wicked
Ruled his world

I love cars. Which is why I love Top Gear.

But I soon discovered that Top Gear is not all about cars. Oh no, it’s about Jeremy Clarkson. It’s not a one-man show, but his sidekicks Richard Hammond and James May, proficient though they are in their own right, are like the cars they feature, little more than beautiful (and did I say accomplished?) props.

Top Gear is almost all about Jeremy. Funny, irritating, laughing, teasing, politically incorrect, offensive, shameless, devilish Jeremy. There was a time the only reason I bothered to watch the telly, apart from sport off course, was because of Top Gear.

And now he’s in trouble again.

This time, suspended for allegedly throwing a punch at a BBC producer. The reason does not matter. Producers after all are supposed to serve gods actors food on time… and take a punch or two for the greater good.

There’s a litany of indiscretions that’s got him into trouble before, but the BBC knowing what a treasure he is, sensibly did not let those mundane distractions keep him off the box. But now it appears to be different. Two whole shows have been postponed. That’s pretty darned alarming.

So he’s alluded to truck drivers being murderers of prostitutes, and called former Prime Minister Gordon Brown a “one-eyed Scottish idiot.” So fucking what? I despise truck drivers who’s only mission in life seems to be to cause traffic chaos, and everyone knows Gordon Brown is an idiot. Surely we don’t need to be convinced.

But it’s also alleged that Clarkson has offended various race groups, nationalities and religious denominations around the world, including Mexicans, Argentinians, Asians, Muslims and Indians. Boo fucking hoo! People are just too darn sensitive.

Hey, I’m Indian (South African), and I was not at all offended by Clarkson’s remark about Indians being unsanitary. India is on my bucket list of places NEVER to visit, up there with Saudi Arabia (practically all of the Middle East actually), North Korea, Pakistan, Malaysia and 98% of Africa. No, not even when I’m dead and my atoms return to star-dust.

The guy’s a gifted comedian for fuck’s sake. The world needs more of them really badly.

Yes, there’s a much more selfish reason why Jeremy just has to come back. The Top Gear Live Show is scheduled to return to Johannesburg, South Africa in a couple of months, and I DO NOT want to miss that. It just won’t be the same. It would be Stuck In Gear.

Social attitudes in South Africa

Came across a report today, which has been published in a book by the Human Sciences Research Council (HSRC). Reflections on the Age of Hope makes for pretty interesting reading – and interpretation.

The one that interested me the most is this:

The HSRC study revealed that the most trusted institutions in the country were churches, trusted by 80% of the respondents, and the SABC [South African Broadcasting Corporation], trusted by 75%.

WTF? The masses trust snake-oil salesmen and the government propaganda machine, more than any other institution? This can’t be right! If the sample can be assumed to be fairly representative of South Africans, then this statistic explains why the masses persist in delusional thinking, and voting the Hog Trough Cartel (a.k.a. the ANC) into power at every election.

Here’s another:

The least trusted were the police (46%), political parties (43%), and local government officials (49%).

Less than half the people trust the police. No surprises there; our last Police Commissioner, Jackie Selebi has been tried, convicted and sentenced for corruption, and the incumbent, Bheki Cele appears well on his way to distinguishing himself, likewise. Most of  the remaining police officers are relics from our apartheid past, and were trained to serve the government, not the people.

Further, less than half the population trust political parties and local government officials, but it seems the public broadcaster (SABC) is doing a bang-up job of convincing them to vote for these loathsome creatures anyway.

Now this one’s no real surprise; it’s inevitable:

But as much as 75% of the population felt that they don’t really trust people from other race groups, so, despite the strides we’ve made since 1994, and race relations improving, we still don’t trust or like each other too much.”

As a matter of fact I distrust people of my own race group (Indians, if you didn’t figure it out yet) much more than people of other race groups. And the reason why is that I don’t like the fact that so many of them seem to be hovering around President Jacob Zuma, wherever he happens to be.

And finally, these two are no-brainers:

About 83% of black and 58% of white respondents listed unemployment as their biggest concern;

73% of Indians and 68% of whites were concerned about crime, as opposed to only 36% of blacks;

Even though a sizeable number of Black people don’t have formal jobs,the ANC policy of Black Economic Empowerment (BEE) and cadre deployment [deployment of mostly incompetent ANC cronies] into strategic positions in the economy, is really hurting the credentials of competent black job seekers.

White folk and Indians are more concerned about crime because they are materialistic and hence tend to have a lot of shit which they would like to guard well. Which is fair enough, I suppose…

Just what we need in post-World Cup South Africa: a new government-ass-kissing newspaper

Oh boy! Here we go again. More Indians kissing government ass!

I’m referring to the proposed new daily newspaper that is to be launched in South Africa, later this year by the Gupta family. Called The New Age, it is being touted as an independent newspaper, but according to Atul Gupta, head of Sahara Computers (a rather mediocre range of personal computers):

We will be broadly supportive of the ruling government. What is wrong with that?

What indeed is wrong with that?

Nothing except that nobody supports a government if they have nothing to benefit from it. Ordinary people will support a government which reciprocates by providing basic services, a safe environment to live in, and which upholds basic freedoms and rights. Business will support a government that reciprocates by providing an environment that is conducive to generating big profits.

Only ignorant people, and businesses hoping for a healthy dose of palm grease will support a government that does not produce the benefits listed earlier. And in South Africa, the government is not only well-known for not producing the benefits that are expected of government, they are rather well-known for the evils that are normally associated with despots and thieves.

Maybe, I’m completely off the mark, but it just smells way too fishy. And, The New Age brings to mind images of the new age of corruption that is so endemic in government circles.

What’s worse is that the Gupta’s will be launching the newspaper in partnership with Essop Pahad, a highly ranked political advisor in the previous ANC-government administration of Thabo Mbeki, which was unceremoniously booted out by the current Jacob Zuma mal-administration. Where this miserable specimen (another ass-kissing Indian, mind you) is involved, there are bound to be eye-brows raised; and his reputation as “…an uncouth enforcer of limited principle”  and a “rottweiler” [Andrew Feinstein, After the Party] , is sure to raise the hairs on one’s back. This relic from the past was all but dead and forgotten, but will now be raised again, through The New Age to influence, and possibly regurgitate more of his hateful rhetoric in a daily newspaper publication.

How long will it be before this broadly-supportive-of-government-newspaper is re-named by disenchanted readers to, The New BS. Let’s wait and see…