Zumanomics one and zero one

South Africa is very angry today; all except those who benefit from President Zuma’s extensive patronage system, and those who either don’t care or are too ignorant to care about what happens to their country.

They’re not angry because his knowledge of geography is as pathetic as his understanding of large numbers. They’re angry because Zuma has probably become the single biggest threat to the economy of this country. He’s just fired the Minister of Finance Nhlanhla Nene and replaced him with a little known crony, who failed dismally at being the mayor of a small town.

While the country’s Rand currency was struggling to regain value from an all-time low against the Dollar, David van Rooyen, Zuma’s latest addition to a network of questionable and downright incompetent appointees to positions of power, was being sworn in.

Not surprisingly, the media and others have been scathing in their criticism of Zuma and the cowardly members of the ANC who support this despicable creature. Read some of the criticisms here, here and most importantly here.

The seething continues…

The Third Force. Shudder!

It’s election year in South Africa, and the polling date of 07 May has just been announced. Which means that electioneering by the opposing political parties and their henchmen kicks into overdrive. Meanwhile…

There has been a remarkable upsurge in violent protests by residents of various towns over poor to zero service delivery. You know, the simple stuff like running water, the winning party promised in the last elections but either failed to deliver for one or more reasons, or couldn’t be bothered to.

We could speculate why the government did not deliver on these services, but there is ample reason to believe (from massive evidence) that it is a direct result of corruption, nepotism and downright incompetence.

But wait for the response of the government cronies… A Third Force is involved. Yes, a Third Fucking Force. They would have us believe that the protests are not about service delivery, but that a sinister force is stoking the flames of protest and instigating people to demonstrate violently and provoking anger and resentment towards the ruling government. They don’t actually say that certain opposition parties are responsible, but they’re not exactly telling you it’s aliens from Planet X, either. The implied accusation is plain to see.

That’s pretty lame and unimaginative coming from the current government. The previous apartheid regime used the very same scare tactic to entrench apartheid, then the ANC resurrected it over recent years, only to breathe new life into it just as we enter the final straight to elections. Through nearly 20 years of being in power they just couldn’t think of a new excuse with which to mask their failings.

However the thing that astounds me the most is that these same protesters will vote into power the same henchmen all over again. They’ve done it before. There’s some pretty screwed up psychology involved here.

Or maybe they’ll astound me yet again, and do the right thing this time around. One can live with hope.

Update:

This just in. While a government official was being interviewed on State Television about the poor state of the roads, an accident is captured on camera. You just can’t make this shit up.

Black Consciousness Leader Calls for President Zuma to Resign

Just when I thought that I was done with politics for the week, things start getting interesting again…

The Reverend Barney Pityana, a former leader in the Black Consciousness Movement with Steve Biko, has called for President Jacob Zuma to resign in an open letter. Pityana who presided over the South African Human Rights Commission between 1995 and 2001, wrote at great length:

I write this letter with a simple request: that you resign from all public office, especially that of President and Head of State of the Republic of South Africa.

I am, of course, aware that you have been re-elected President of the African National Congress, the majority party in our National Assembly. I am also aware that, in terms of our electoral system, that allows the ANC to present you as a candidate to the National Assembly and use their majority therein to put you in office, without much ado. It would also appear that by its recent vote the African National Congress has expressed confidence in your leadership. You can then understand that I am taking an extraordinary step, and I can assure you one that has been carefully considered, in asking for your resignation.

Our country is in shambles, and the quality of life of millions of ordinary South Africans is deteriorating. Confidence in our country, and its economic and political system, is at an all-time low. There is reason to believe that ordinary South Africans have no trust in your integrity as a leader, or in your ability to lead and guide a modern constitutional democracy that we aspire to become. That, notwithstanding the fact that our Constitution puts very minimal requirements for qualification as a public representative including the highly esteemed office of President and Head of State, and Head of the Executive. What is clear, at the very least, is that the President must have the means and the inclination to promote and defend the Constitution, and uphold the well being of all South Africans. I have reason to believe that, notwithstanding the confidence that your party has placed on you, you have demonstrated that you no longer qualify for this high office on any of the counts stated above…

The immediate question in my mind is whether Zuma’s resignation will be enough to arrest the slide this country is currently in? I think not. The rot does not stop with him. It is so deep and pervasive, that a simple excision may not be enough.

The proper thing would be for the entire cabinet to resign en-masse. With the exception of a handful of Ministers and Deputy Ministers, this cabinet is without question one of the most incompetent we have ever had, and I include apartheid era bureaucrats as well. Coupled with incompetence, this administration has been embroiled in far too many scandals involving corruption, cronyism, disdain for the electorate, and gross arrogance.

I believe that there are still enough people of good moral fibre and competence left in this organization to take over the reigns. Oh yes, their will be turmoil for a while, but we as citizens need to bite the bullet for a short while, in the quest for a better country – one that was promised us by Nelson Mandela, who we honour this week after his sad passing away.

Free them day

Tomorrow, South Africa will celebrate Freedom Day. Strangely it is not about celebrating true freedom, but, as an official government website puts it, celebrating South Africa’s first democratic elections on 27 April 1994 when millions of South Africans, for the first time, exercised their right to vote.

Yes, that’s right, South Africans are being expected to celebrate the right to cast a vote. By calling it Freedom Day, the government expects you to believe that casting a vote is the equivalent of being free.

It’s been 16 years since Nelson Mandela’s ANC liberated us from the yoke of Apartheid. We’ve been voting ever since, but are the majority of our citizens truly free? The price that is being paid for the right to vote, has not been comprehended by the vast majority of South Africa’s population. They have been skillfully manipulated by the post-Polokwane ANC  into thinking that they have freedom which should be guarded at all costs, through the shrewd invoking of that non-existent threat of Apartheid. Much like religion and the clerics do, with the threat of everlasting torment in a non-existent Hell. [I can’t help comparing politicians to clerics; they’re so much alike]

What’s happened in 16 years? We’ve joined the democratic world. The people are free to vote for anyone they’ve been manipulated into choosing. That’s how democracy works in the modern era, isn’t it? Politicians don’t want you thinking freely; they want you voting freely.

So, as you ponder your so-called freedom tomorrow, consider how those you have entrusted with your vote, have responded…or not. Consider calling on your government to free you from the vicious circle of lies, incompetence and corruption that characterizes their administration.

I’ll leave you to reflect further, with a YouTube video from Pat Condell who, although more well-known for his religious frankness, might as well have been talking about the South African political situation, in this commentary about the upcoming English elections:

Ten changes the newly elected SA government may make

1. Creation of the Ministry of Religion. Since the church proved so helpful during the election campaign, and Zuma declared that “…god is on their side…,” government has decided to show their appreciation by creating a Ministry of Religion and will immediately declare Ray McCauley as Minister of Religious Affairs. Look forward to a one tenth taxation of your one tenth tithe.
2. All criminal courts to be disbanded. These courts are pretty ineffective anyway. Henceforth, the National Prosecuting Authority will be expanded, and all decisions concerning criminal cases will be made with ruthless efficiency by this directorate. Moketedi Mpshe is to be appointed with immediate effect as Chief Judge and Executioner (CJE). All cases currently against corrupt government officials will be suspended. One of the benefits of this change will be that all the money saved in trying to prosecute corrupt civil servants, will be made immediately available again for “redistribution” to other corrupt government officials who may not have fed properly at the trough, the first time around.
3. The creation of The Reward Fund as the official Recognition and Reward system of government. This fund which will be introduced at the next annual budget meeting of parliament, will become the vehicle through which gross incompetence, mismanagement, plain laziness and general ineptitude by civil servants, is rewarded and encouraged. As you know, if a government functions (especially in Africa), then something is drastically wrong. To combat this undesirable outcome in government, civil servants who display the above-mentioned characteristics should be rewarded, and the public should be glad to pay for it, too. Any individuals outside of government, who assist (financially or otherwise) in key events such as election campaigns, will be rewarded with government positions (which may of necessity have to be made up or created for no real reason), so that they too can eventually benefit from the The Reward Fund.
4. Public flogging to be re-introduced.  We all know how South Africa loves violence and what better way to help our slide back into medieval times, than by reviving public floggings. And unfortunately, the first victim has to be ex-president Thabo Mbeki. Since ANC Youth League (ANCYL) president, Julius Malema so eloquently pointed out in a letter (apparently) that Mbeki was the real villain in South African politics, the ruling government has no option but to publicly deter such behaviour through routine floggings. All opponents of the government, beware the pen of Malema, and the whip of Zuma.
5. Cape Town will be renamed the Mother (fuck’n) City. As you know, the Western Cape, all but whipped the ANC’s ass in the recent elections, and this will not sit well with the overall winners. So expect President of Cape Town, Hellen Zille to be increasingly ostracised by the ruling government of the greater South Africa. And watch closely, as the government may decide to take further punitive measures against Cape Town, by relocating Parliament to Houghton, or heaven forbid, the Rhema Bible Church near Randburg.
6. A re-distribution counter for hard drugs will be opened at all police stations across the country. The main aim of this counter will be to re-distribute, at competitive prices, all the illegal hard drug shipments that are confiscated at our main airports on a weekly basis. The benefits of this initiative are two-fold; the first will be to put all legitimate drug dealers out of business, so that the police can have more time to expand the distribution business, and fill vacant posts in the VIP Protection Unit (which as I will explain later, is going to become very important), and the second will be that as more of the citizens of this country become dopers, the government will have less to worry about in terms of interference with the way they run government.
7. The State Tender Board will be dissolved and reformed as The Tender Loving Care Board. This board will be responsible to ensure that all state tenders are awarded to rich non-white businesses, who have solid track records of having previously benefited from a state tender and/or have in some way contributed in getting the government re-elected to power. As soon as it is reasonably safe to declare Schabir Shaik miraculously cured of the mystery illness that got him released from prison, he will be appointed to head this board. The key benefit of this initiative will be to ensure that the rich get richer, and the vast majority who are poor remain as wretched as ever, and thus maintain their status as common voting fodder. As any politician knows, it is easier to convince the poor to vote for you with rich promises.
8. Foreign advisory appointments to key government positions. Robert Mugabe will be appointed as President Zuma’s chief virtual political adviser. Mugabe’s main role will be to advise Zuma on how to hang onto power, especially as he ages closer to the 70’s and beyond. Similarly, Mugabe’s wife, Grace will be appointed as chief fashion adviser to Zuma’s harem. She will be responsible to advise Zuma’s mulitple wives on fashion sense and how to spend taxpayers money on extravagant shopping sprees, overseas.
9. Other key government appointments. Trevor Manuel will be moved to another ministry or commission, as his reputation as a tightwad will not suit the free-spending Zuma that much. Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma will be redeployed from the foreign ministry where she did a great job at keeping the old dictators and despots club together, to the Home Affairs ministry where she can presumably assist with legislation to make SA a haven for ousted foreign despots and other criminals. Julius Malema will be rewarded for his loyalty by being appointed to head the newly formed Media Watchdog Committee, where he will try his level best to stymie press freedom and monitor adverts that parody the government. Manto Tshabalala- Msimang, former Minister of Health will be given a diplomatic post to Outer Mongolia where she can quietly pass her days swigging whatever passes for alcohol there, while contemplating the mess she made with the Health Ministry.
10. And the best for last. As soon as Jacob Zuma is sworn in as President of SA, a law will be passed making the extreme right-hand lane of all major roads (mostly freeways and highways), the VIP Lane. This lane will be reserved for National and Provincial Ministers, MP’s and Provincial Legislature big-shots, so that they can race along with ease in their VIP protected blue-light flashing, motorcades. This will be done solely because the government has the safety of the motoring public at heart; by outlawing motorists from this lane, VIP Protection officers don’t have to shoot any more innocent motorists. As I mentioned earlier, this initiative will create advancement opportunities for many police officers. And since ordinary motorists will be confined to the center and left lanes only, taxis can now legally make exclusive use of the yellow barrier lane and even the pavements, which they used illegally (and with gay abandon) in the past. Pedestrians, I’m afraid will have to take their chances, just as we motorists have had to in the past, with both taxis and VIP convoys.

The above is a parody of government and is not to be taken seriously…if you cross your fingers…