A rare Saturday post: Uninspired

After partying out a 4-day weekend, I have had one of those rather inspirational weeks in which I strained to find anything worthy of posting.

And so, for the purposes of just putting pen to paper (so to speak), I leave you with this:

If you’re counting the calories in your daily food intake, I really feel for you. Yes, it may well be the healthy thing to do, but it is life-sucking all the same. For the record, I don’t indulge in calorie-counting, but I’ve lost a few kilos anyway – see I’m one of those lucky one’s.

But I guess it may be insensitive to those who are struggling with their weight. Therefore if you’re counting your calories and are still found wanting, think of it like this*:

Blaming those pesky nanobot seamstresses will not ease your plight, but laughing about it sure as hell will lighten up your world.

* With gracious thanks to a FB friend.

 

The occasional Friday post: A cure for hangovers?

Over my many years of binge drinking I’ve suffered through some pretty awful head clangers and gut busters.

I’ve tried the occasional hangover cure punted by fellow guzzlers who always swear by its efficacy, like I’m sure many of you have too… and none of them work, as I’m sure many of you have discovered to your dismay also. Off course there’s the infamous “stay drunk,” which assumes that you never have to at some point rejoin the human (rat) race. And I have even seen a claim of a scientific cure, but it’s obvious that Professor Michael Oshinsky’s rats have not partied like a mofo.

Most of us have consigned ourselves to just facing it; although I’m almost sure none of us actually think too much about the consequences. However new research suggests that there may be a way to beat the hangover, but  you may not like it.

Initial research carried out at the University of Southern Denmark and published in the journal, Alcoholism: Clinical & Experimental Research, seem to indicate that older people (60+ years) were less likely to experience a hangover than younger people (18 – 29 years). In other words there is a distinct correlation between age and being and victim of the dreaded hangover.

However, as you may well know correlation is not causation, but on a personal level, I can attest that I do suffer less hangovers as I approach 50, but that may well be due to my choice of classier beverages, as the study also concedes.

So, all in all I find it quite amusing that the cure for hangovers is simply “grow the fuck up.”

Thank you…

I’ve been remiss in not often thinking about all those people who work late into the night and on weekends, while the rest of us get to enjoy life.

I’m referring to those who keep the wheels of industry turning, those who provide essential services such as in the hospitals, the doctors, nurses, firemen, policemen, paramedics, and those who serve us at shops and restaurants. Off course I’m forgetting to mention the many, many others, but you know who I mean.

And oh, the men in uniform who are supposed to keep your country safe, protecting the innocent from the wars created by the petty ideologies of stupid politicians. You too.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

And…

Pope-eye the Sailor Man

I have a wicked mind. In high school I developed the knack of passing a quip at any commentary. These days I reserve that talent for anyone who has earned the ire of the people, by deed or speech.

Usually politicians are my victims. Today it’s the turn of Pope Benedict XVI. Reports suggest that he is going blind in one eye and due to a high blood pressure condition, is advised to limit air travel. I will leave the faithful to ponder why god’s emissary is being forsaken. Rationalizing is after all, their fortitude.

Pope Benedictus XVI (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What I’m musing over is whether his partial blindness is the reason why he turned a blind eye to the perverse sexual antics of his priests. Yeah, yeah, that’s really malicious, but let’s get even sillier…

Will Ratzinger now become Pope-eye the Sailor Man since he is restricted from travelling by air?

What Freedom of Speech Means to Christopher Hitchens

From Vanity Fair article

Whatever your feelings about the robust atheist beliefs of Christopher Hitchens, you will eventually admit that he was a marvellous orator, and an incredibly good writer too.

So it’s rather sad that he is currently fighting cancer, which is now laying claim to his vocal chords as well. However his mind is as strong as ever and it’s unlikely that the dastardly disease will make any inroads there.

It’s therefore a pleasure to be able to continue reading his work, the most recent of which is an article in Vanity Fair where he shares some thoughts on the loss of his voice and what it means to him. It begins so:

Like so many of life’s varieties of experience, the novelty of a diagnosis of malignant cancer has a tendency to wear off. The thing begins to pall, even to become banal. One can become quite used to the specter of the eternal Footman, like some lethal old bore lurking in the hallway at the end of the evening, hoping for the chance to have a word. And I don’t so much object to his holding my coat in that marked manner, as if mutely reminding me that it’s time to be on my way. No, it’s the snickering that gets me down.

Catch the rest of his thoughts here:

Christopher Hitchens: Unspoken Truths Culture: vanityfair.com.

What will fall out if you Shaik the goji berry plant

I read an article in an online publication the other day about convicted fraudster Schabir Shaik’s stay at an exclusive game lodge, in apparent violation of his parole conditions. Shaik, for those of you who don’t know already, was convicted of fraud and corruption relating to the arms scandal and his relationship with Jacob Zuma, then Deputy President of South Africa (now President), was released on early parole because he claimed that he had a terminal illness.

Personally, I couldn’t bother where Shaik spends his time, legally or illegally; so long as it is as far away from me as possible. What interested me in the article was Shaik’s claim that his health was improving as a result of rest and a concoction of goji berries. He was also quoted as saying:

I’m on goji berries now. Someone told me that with them I’ll make a miraculous recovery … I’m hoping my eyesight will improve.

And indeed, Shaik does seem to be in perfect health now, and it looks like he has made that miraculous recovery. The thing is, miracles have only ever occurred in the bible and in other mythological fables, and there is no scientific evidence that goji berries have any health benefits, much less curative effects.

In fact the marketing claims made for goji berries (also appropriately known as Wolfberry) have come under scrutiny in various countries. Apparently, even the United States Food and Drug administration (FDA) placed two goji berry juice distributors on written notice for claims relating to the establishment of the product as a drug intended for use in the cure, mitigation, treatment, or prevention of disease. The misleading claims are so serious, that a class action lawsuit was filed against FreeLife International, Inc, in Arizona USA over its Himalayan Goji Juice, GoChi, and TaiSlim products.

So, what can one conclude from this?

That it’s highly improbable that god took some time out from his busy schedule of fucking up the world, to grant Shaik an extension on his miserable, thieving life, or that goji berries have suddenly started curing terminal illnesses. What is plausible however, is that Shaik has perpetrated another fraud on the South African people with his carefully managed terminal illness stage act, and that our rotten government had a lot to do with it. It’s high time the South African sheeple woke up and smelt the goji berries.