Photo # 16: I must go down to the sea again…

I joined a few friends last week on an excursion to Port St. Johns, a well-known fishing haven on the South East Coast of South Africa.

Our timing could not have been worse as it coincided with a cold front coming up from the Eastern Cape that dumped a heap of snow in areas a little more than 150 kilometers from us, and freezing rain for days where we were lodging.

Needless to say, we only managed to catch a few fish, and decided to pack it in and move further up the coast to Margate…where we encountered more rain. However I did manage to get this shot on the only day that was relatively shower-free.

Spotting the socks left drying on the tree trunk reminded me of this little ditty I heard many years ago:

I must go down to the sea again

the lonely sea and sky

I left my socks there

I want to see if they’re dry

 

A week after the elections…

The Times Online, February 02, 2010

Politics in South Africa is back to normal. We’re going to miss the run-up to the elections when the assholes in the contending political parties tried to be nice to us for a few weeks.

Now that the vote has been secured, it’s back to the same petty squabbling, deceit and plain stupidity one has come to expect routinely from the swine of the earth – our glorious self-serving politicians.

Admittedly I haven’t heard too much from the Democratic Alliance (DA), but they’re no doubt busy behind the scenes savouring the gains they have made and plottting their next moves. No so however with the African National Congress (ANC).

They’ve been quite vocal. From the idiot former mayor in the Eastern Cape who urged his followers to burn down a local newspaper and drive opposition voters into the sea for allegedly supporting the DA, to  ANC Secretary General Gwede Mantashe disingenuously claiming that the leader of their Youth League, Julius Malema lost them some votes. Then we had President Jacob Zuma calling for an enquiry into the running of a Municipality by the DA prior to the elections and which they had retained control of after the elections. Off course the DA cried foul, calling it a political stunt, and perhaps they have a point because it’s practically unheard off for the ANC to call for investigations into anything, particularly since the ANC are alleged to be involved in major financial irregularities in practically every local council they have under their control.

Meanwhile minor political parties and independents who won a few seats, began the rather unsavory job of prostituting themselves by getting into the bed of the heavy-weights, mainly the ANC. The ANC off course lost no time in securing these liaisons because they’ve become quite adept at sleeping with anybody and anything that furthers their self-serving nature.

But all of these events pale in comparison to the ANC’s threat to stymie further debate on the Secrecy Bill, more formally known as the Protection of Information Bill (POIB), and hasten it through Parliament. Their intent is obviously to use their majority to pass the Bill, thus stifling freedom of speech which they hope will accord them the protections to continue with the raiding of the treasury among other more dastardly deeds.

Now that the sweet smiles from government that greeted us during the elections have turned into ugly fangs, it’s time to resume our vigilance and bring out the anti-venom.

If you’ve got murder on your mind, come to South Africa

Hmmm. I’ve just read that our Tourism Minister, wants to promote South Africa as a great destination for shipping cruises. May I suggest (dis)honourable Minister, that we’ll make more money promoting this country as the ultimate murder destination.

Yes, that’s right. If you’re thinking of knocking off someone, bring or lure them here. You will not find a more beautiful, accessible, murder-friendly destination in the world. Forget about Mexico, Afghanistan or Iraq; you need to do the deed without having to worry about getting knocked off yourself.

Your chances of getting caught are pretty slim; the incompetence of our police (dis)service is legendary. They’re however quite good at forming blue-light flashing, motorised convoys to escort our self-important, fat-arsed politicians around at break-neck speed on our soon-to-be open-tolled roads, forcing tax-paying citizens out of the way. That, and turning a blind eye to the looting of the treasury by our elected (sigh!) politicians.

However, you need to take cognizance of the following to ensure that your chances of being arrested are eliminated or minimised:

• Don’t plan your murder or hit in any area that is run by a competent Provincial Administration; that is to say, don’t do it in the Cape Province. Rather select any one of the other corrupt ANC-governed Provinces. Polokwane and the Eastern Cape are a good bet.
• Don’t hire shifty, good-for-nothing mini-bus taxi drivers as part of your hit squad. They’re likely to get caught after boasting about it in the local township shebeen (unofficial bar, to you foreigners). Don’t hire drug-peddling Nigerians either; they’re just good at extortion, fraud and peddling drugs off course. Don’t approach any of our politicians either; they may like stealing, and don’t give a hoot about crime, but I don’t think they’ll be party to murder.
• Don’t ask that cougar from Pretoria, who planned a hit on her rugby-playing boyfriend or anyone on honeymoon, for advice.

Now that you’re all set to get away with murder, please consider first spending some of your Euros and Dollars on normal touristy things; even visit some of our idle World Cup stadiums, or take a cruise. We could sure do with the money, and so could our politicians.