My latest road trip: Part 1

I haven’t posted anything in a while, since I’ve been too busy enjoying the road trip I’m currently on.

One week into my road trip, and I’ve left beautiful Saint Lucia behind; one of the last unspoilt stretches of land in South Africa. I’ve concluded a long-held wish to visit about the only place in South Africa, I had not been to before. And I’m glad I did, because it’s well worth visiting.

Kayaking in the Saint Lucia Estuary, getting up real close to the hippos, crocodiles and varied bird species, is a truly magical experience. The experience will leave me forever angry at organized religion which prised heathens away from worshiping nature. This is the only thing worth praising, or worshiping for that matter.

St. Lucia Estuary 1

St. Lucia Estuary 2

St. Lucia 3

But even people can make a place special, and worth visiting again. A special mention therefore to Joyce, a cheerful Dutch woman of Indonesian origin, at the Afrikhaya Guest House whose gracious hospitality added that little extra to the whole experience. [Thanks Joyce]

Some day, I’ll be back at St. Lucia to partake of its many other wonderful delights. But for now, it’s time to push on to the Tstitsikamma forests in the Eastern Cape…

Hup! Hup! Ole!

Feel it, it is here! You’ve probably been assaulted by that cheesy line many times by now. The truth is, the end of the FIFA 2010 Soccer World Cup is at hand, and it’s hard not to feel something, even if it’s just plain indifference.

The finalists, Netherlands and Spain each have a life-long objective to achieve; Netherlands to finally win after reaching a final, and Spain to win a final on debut. This could be a classic final, to be cherished for a long time to come, or it could turn out to be a damp squib like the others over recent years. Even though both teams progressed to the final in a relatively inconspicuous or uninspiring fashion; one hopes that they have left the best for last, seeing as how the flashy brilliance from some of the more fancied teams, has gotten them nothing.

I’ve stood firm with my prediction that the Netherlands will get into the final and even go all the way to win. Although, I did predict that Spain would progress to the semi-finals, I did not expect them to get past Germany. So much for relying on form!

So, who is going to win?

There is an octopus called Paul, in the German city of Oberhausen, who has supposedly predicted that Spain will win the final. And there’s the octopus called Pauline, in the Dutch city of Scheveningen, who has also supposedly predicted that the Netherlands will win.

The thing is, an octopus cannot predict a winner and never will. The keepers of these two sea creatures in captivity, gave them a choice between two options, so they would always have a 50% chance of predicting the winner. Given the option between choosing either Spain or Netherlands and becoming Pickled Octopus, they would have chosen the latter 50% of the time. The other option in predicting a winner, is to consult a clairvoyant or similar scam-artist, which would leave you out-of-pocket and none the wiser; the octopus make a nice alternative and are more fun anyway.

Which means that there is no sure-fire way of knowing who is going to win. All you can do is pick the team you like and hope like crazy, they win.

I’ve chosen Netherlands…

How dare Paris Hilton’s friend attend a World Cup match with just one joint?

Imagine getting into heaven and all you want to do is sit on a fluffy cloud and play the harp, all day, every day. It’s like having no aspirations to enjoy the fruits of heaven! Pretty soon you’re going to be kicked out; for being such a party-pooper.

Imagine coming to South Africa and attending a World Cup game between the liberal Dutch and the Brazilians who are party animals….with just one joint? What was Jennifer Rovero, Paris Hilton’s one-time Playboy, playmate-friend thinking, coming to criminal-loving South Africa so ill prepared?

This is South Africa after all. We positively love criminals. We give asylum to human-rights violators, dictators, crime bosses, crime families. Hell, we even elect them into power. We love madmen like Mugabe; we allow him slip in and out the country, to shop here at our best, most priciest malls. We allow murderers to report their crime and then slip quietly out of the country, or into obscurity, well protected by our well-greased police force.

How dare you Miss July 1999, have the effrontery to be in possession of one lousy joint? Our Nigerians have truckloads of the stuff; and a lot more besides. They’re allowed to take over, one district at a time, because they have big ambitions and this makes our politicians and top cops lick their lips with glee. And here you come with one freaking joint! You small-time players make us wanna hurl. Not impressive at all. No, no, no.

Is it any wonder our Home Affairs Ministry decided to kick you out, and brand you a prohibited person? That will teach ya; entering our borders all legal and such.

Oh, and since they’ve given you 14 days to leave the country, I suggest you shimmy on up the coast and get some of that famous Durban poison before you leave our crime-infested shores. You won’t regret it; that’s some great shit they have there.

Going Dutch – Could this be Holland’s World Cup?

Some of the more fancied teams have seen their asses being kicked. The stars of the soccer world have performed pretty much below expectations. The favorites to win, Brazil and Spain have not looked very convincing.

Neither has the Netherlands, but something tells me they could go all the way at this World Cup. The first two matches were won – not very easily, but won nonetheless. They don’t have that many superstars in their squad, so we won’t be assaulted with any preening and showmanship from the Dutch. The talent is undeniably there; and it shows signs of erupting magnificently.

Their supporters have shown that they care about far more than just soccer. Their protests against the ridiculous advertising rules imposed by the tournament organizers makes me proud of the nation in orange…. and clogs.

I’m rooting for the Dutch; it’s about time they finally go all the way.