While I was on holiday down in Durban at the end of the year, I made an effort to read a
Image by Camera Slayer via Flickr
particular local daily newspaper, in which I followed what is probably a seasonal debate about fireworks.
Yeah! Yeah! You’ve followed some of those debates too, right? And it was about the same old thing – the environmentalist/animal welfare freaks versus the religious nutters, with the in-betweener’s trying desperately to find merit on both sides, but failing to make any great impression. Yep!
So I thought I might as well give you my few crackers worth too…
A well-organized pyrotechnics display, preferably away from urban areas, once, maybe twice a year, is a wonderful spectacle and pleasing to the senses.
The excessively loud bangs associated with modern fireworks set off in urban areas is extremely irritating and not at all pleasant to the ear; mine at least. What’s more it drives dogs insane and causes them to bark furiously. Furiously barking dogs drive me insane and is also highly irritating to my ears. If it has the same effects on you, then you’re normal too.
So, for the benefit of you curry-munchers in Durban, The Festival of Lights is about lights [the myth anyway]; it’s not about loud bangs. Gott it! The same goes for non-curry-munchers and inebriated assholes who let off loud fireworks for laughs. Get your kicks elsewhere. Try letting out the air on the tyres of every parked mini-bus taxi you see. That could be fun too, and daring.
If you’re a psychotic moron and absolutely have to do it, go out-of-town someplace where you won’t bother anyone. Blow yourself up too while you’re at it. That would create a pleasant balance to all those slave-workers who die every year in Chinese death traps factories making these things.
I don’t give a fucking hoot about your culture, your religion, your fantasies and your need to have some fun, through letting off of fireworks. I DO CARE about my precious ears and the fact that sudden loud sounds irritates me.
Lenny Says 