Essential Voter Information

The South African General Elections are mere days away now, and your political parties are canvassing up a storm, regurgitating many old promises, and inventing enticing new ones.

Mostly outrageous lies off course. But you know that, right? Right?

These are the ones making the most noise, yes, noise…

The incumbent African National Congress (ANC), are handing out t-shirts and food parcels, just in case the promises aren’t inventive enough, or the people can’t hear through the ullulating women and men’s chants of Viva. All knowledgeable know that they’re merely digging in for another five years of brazen theft, incompetence and cronyism. The Economic Freedom Fighters (EFF) are promising Nationalization of the land and sea, and just about anything stupid that comes on the spur of the moment to bloated heads. If they promise the air as well, then that will complete the Nationalization trifecta. Their leader Julius Malema is… the embodiment of a buffoon and wants nothing more than to lord it over like the ANC does.

And the purported voice of reason…

The Democratic Alliance (DA) are preaching to a small choir, because almost nobody else understands reason and logic, or trusts them. The new kids on the block, Agang, are mostly mimicking the DA, and essentially clueless about policy, but do have a woman leader who would make the perfect President.

No other party (and there are lots) matters. It seems that for every half-baked ideology, there’s a political party crusading it.They’re all worthless shit. That’s not to say that those above are not shite as well. But you just have to remember one thing.

This.

essenceofpolitic

Vote wisely folks. After the 7th of May, these politicians will all crawl back under their steaming piles of horse shit, and you’ll be left wandering a trail of broken promises for another 5 years.

See you at the polls…

Infantile ANC

Angry_manIt’s been a while since my last political rant, but a number of incidents this week involving South Africa’s ruling party the ANC, has left me shaking my head in dismay… yet again.

Earlier this week, the ANC called for a boycott of MTN, a cellular service provider, after the opposition DA used airtime vouchers printed by a third-party (not MTN) to advertise a pre-election campaign message. The second incident also involves the opposition DA, but this time President Obama was drawn into the mix as well. Pending President Obama’s first visit to the country, the DA has invited him to accept the freedom of the city of Cape Town and address parliament.

Inexplicably an ANC spokesperson has condemned the invitation, calling it a publicity stunt. Both actions by the DA are for all intents and purposes totally above-board. These actions are simple politics, opportunistic though they may be. The childish reaction from the ANC tempts one to conclude that they’re kicking up a hissy fit simply because their propaganda machine did not think of it first.

The third incident which was literally crappy, involved the youth wing of the ANC, otherwise known as the ANCYL (ANC Youth League). While the ANCYL has a long history of perpetrating the most vile acts of anti-social behaviour, this latest incident is particularly nasty. Members of the ANCYL resorted to dumping human faeces collected from portable toilets, on the steps of the Provincial Legislature building in Cape Town, and then a day or so later, hurled more of the stuff at a bus carrying the DA party leader, Helen Zille.

The ANC have publicly distanced themselves from these latter two despicable incidents, But I can imagine them secretly laughing behind closed doors, such is the mentality prevalent in this rotten organization which has the morals and ethics of a squashed cockroach fermenting in a jar of horse piss.

With the recent diarrhoea outbreak in the coastal city of Durban, one wonders if the ANCYL will be in attendance, collecting more ammunition for their future protests.

These are by no means isolated incidences of madness on the part of the ANC. They perpetrate gross acts of misconduct, indulge in scandalous behaviour and petty squabbles and bully critics, on a daily basis. Their one major accomplishment is managing to convince the majority of the people of South Africa to keep them in power for so long, despite their many alarming acts of depravity.

A week after the elections…

The Times Online, February 02, 2010

Politics in South Africa is back to normal. We’re going to miss the run-up to the elections when the assholes in the contending political parties tried to be nice to us for a few weeks.

Now that the vote has been secured, it’s back to the same petty squabbling, deceit and plain stupidity one has come to expect routinely from the swine of the earth – our glorious self-serving politicians.

Admittedly I haven’t heard too much from the Democratic Alliance (DA), but they’re no doubt busy behind the scenes savouring the gains they have made and plottting their next moves. No so however with the African National Congress (ANC).

They’ve been quite vocal. From the idiot former mayor in the Eastern Cape who urged his followers to burn down a local newspaper and drive opposition voters into the sea for allegedly supporting the DA, to  ANC Secretary General Gwede Mantashe disingenuously claiming that the leader of their Youth League, Julius Malema lost them some votes. Then we had President Jacob Zuma calling for an enquiry into the running of a Municipality by the DA prior to the elections and which they had retained control of after the elections. Off course the DA cried foul, calling it a political stunt, and perhaps they have a point because it’s practically unheard off for the ANC to call for investigations into anything, particularly since the ANC are alleged to be involved in major financial irregularities in practically every local council they have under their control.

Meanwhile minor political parties and independents who won a few seats, began the rather unsavory job of prostituting themselves by getting into the bed of the heavy-weights, mainly the ANC. The ANC off course lost no time in securing these liaisons because they’ve become quite adept at sleeping with anybody and anything that furthers their self-serving nature.

But all of these events pale in comparison to the ANC’s threat to stymie further debate on the Secrecy Bill, more formally known as the Protection of Information Bill (POIB), and hasten it through Parliament. Their intent is obviously to use their majority to pass the Bill, thus stifling freedom of speech which they hope will accord them the protections to continue with the raiding of the treasury among other more dastardly deeds.

Now that the sweet smiles from government that greeted us during the elections have turned into ugly fangs, it’s time to resume our vigilance and bring out the anti-venom.

Just to see the expression on the scumbag's face…

According to Christian fundamentalist Harold Camping, the world is about to end in less than two hours at 6PM…in this time zone at least. The event better known as the Rapture will herald the return of Jesus.

In a South African context, with the local elections just completed and the ANC still retaining a fairly large majority, the Rapture will have special appeal to all those facing the prospect of another 5 years of self-indulgent rule, and remembering the moronic statement President Jacob Zuma made a while back that the ANC will rule “until Jesus comes back.”

While most of us will not qualify to ascend to a Christian Heaven, I’m sure we would like the to Rapture to occur nonetheless, just so that we can see the silly smirk wiped off the face of the prat. I’m giggling hysterically right now just thinking of how utterly stupid Zuma and his unquestioning followers will feel as Jesus reappears to end their victory celebrations, just 3 days after maintaining their majority at the elections.

Off course, being a rational person I’m not expecting Jesus or the Rapture but I guess I should just be happy with the small consolation that the opposition DA not only won the Western Cape outright, they have made significant inroads elsewhere in the country. I’m sure many ANC big mouths who predicted that they would win all Provinces convincingly, are feeling like sheepish twats right now.

If that’s the only pleasure I’m going to get from this election, I guess it’s enough.

I care about the future of my country…not the future of a political party

It’s finally here. One more sleep until the election that’s being billed as a watershed event in the recent history of South African politics. But will it be?

Oh, it’s just a local government election, nothing as dramatic as the election of the first Black President in the USA, but it’s a very important event in the history of South African politics. Seventeen years of democratic [I’m not amenable to that word] elections has produced a pattern of voting that hasn’t changed all that much.

But tomorrow, will South Africans vote with maturity for the first time, or will they continue to vote emotionally along narrow racial and egotistical lines like they’ve always done in the history of voting in this country?

The two main contenders up for elections are the Democratic Alliance (DA) and the African National Congress (ANC). The hundreds [yes, democracy tends to become farcical] of other parties and independent candidates vying for contention will get a small percentage of the vote, but will become irrelevant in the larger scale of things. But they’re important nonetheless, catering for either refined thinkers on the one hand and self-seeking interests on the other.

The DA and the ANC have both conducted intensive election campaigns in the run up to this elections. While both had their unsavory moments, one in particular conducted a particularly nasty campaign that set new standards of low for electioneering, in this country at least.

The ANC being the dominant party continued to make the same promises which they have been making for the last 17 years and broken repeatedly. Their campaign featured elements of the bizarre on far too many occasions – contending that a vote for the ANC was a guarantee of a ticket to heaven, and pandering to the superstitious inclinations of the older generation of the vast Black population by stating quite falsely that their deceased elders would be angered if the ANC was not favored in the election. These were among the more despicable acts perpetrated during their increasingly desperate campaign. The ANC campaign was also noteworthy for the manner in which it manipulated emotions and entrenched racial divisions in the country. In short, the ANC did a remarkable job of promoting themselves, at the expense of the country as a whole.

The DA campaign on the other hand, while not standing out as a shining beacon for morality and potential good governance, was at least realistic and concentrated on what local elections are all about – service delivery. They did not stoop to the abominable depths of using religion and culture to gift-wrap their campaign; instead they focussed on highlighting their successes at local municipalities where they were in control. The important thing for me was that they were convincing about their concern for the future of the country.

And that is where the ANC failed dismally. They merely managed to convince me that they were more concerned about protecting their own self-serving interests by retaining power both nationally and locally. Anyone who actually bothers to analyse performance and can see through the myriad deceptions that politicians routinely employ, will realise that the ANC does not deserve to be trusted with a vote of confidence.

For this reason, I will not vote for them tomorrow, but will trust the DA to prove that they deserve a chance at local government.

Real Toilet Politics

Lavatorial politics is common all over the world; politicians are compared to the stuff found in diapers, for good reason after all. But you can’t beat South African politicians for talking crap, especially the stinkers who belong to the ANC.

Recently the Democratic Alliance (DA) controlled local government in the Western Cape came under heavy fire from the ANC Youth League (ANCYL) for constructing toilets without enclosures in an informal settlement. The ANCYL went on to take the DA-led council to court to demand that the offending structures more commonly referred to as open toilets, be enclosed. However, they did manage to first organise some of the thugs that belong to their shady organization into destructive gangs who set about demolishing some of the structures, quite a while before dreaming up the court action.

Although there was what seemed an amicable agreement in place between the council and the locals over the construction of the toilets whereby the residents would self-enclose once the council provided the plumbing, the ANCYL won the case, citing a great victory for human rights and dignity.

Off course anyone with an ounce of intelligence in one hand, balanced with an ounce of decency in the other knows quite well that the ANCYL were merely taking advantage of a stupid lapse on the part of the DA, and were milking the situation thoroughly to score political points for the upcoming local government elections. Human rights and the dignity of the people have not exactly been the focus of the ANC since taking over power from the previous apartheid government; looting, hoarding, lying, cheating and generally fucking up, has.

Barely a few weeks passed, when the ANC-led council in a Free State Municipality were literally caught with their pants down in the same toilet scene. They had constructed open toilets for an informal settlement there, more than 7 years ago. Yesterday the ANC secretary-general Gwede Mantashe, told reporters that the ANC “didn’t know” about the toilets, notwithstanding the fact that a local newspaper broke the story nearly a year ago.

You’ve got to give credit to this bunch of so-called public servants. They’re consistent, very consistent – in denying and lying. They’re very good at it too. Perhaps they practice, while riding about in their chauffeur driven flashy expensive cars bought with taxpayers money, or while lazing on their fat arses, doing NOTHING for the people.

Today, Julius Malema, leader of the ANCYL commented that “heads must roll,” and that someone must take responsibility, most probably without realising the pun in his statement. Will he even admit that his own ANC are now the culprits, with the shoe now being on the other foot?

And will Julius really take the scumbags in his own organization to court to demand the open toilets be closed as in the Western Cape, or will he make good on his threat to knock down some of the heads that have been left un-enclosed for nearly 8 years?

Past experience with these immoral cretins tells me that they will just let this one slide until the stink is over, just as they do with everything else they screw up.

Another middle-finger to the chumps in power

The Democratic Alliance chose 'Vote to Win' as...

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I’m finally registered and rearing to vote in the local elections on 18 May 2011. It’s been more than 16 years since I’ve been this enthusiastic about voting.

You see this time I’m really looking forward to the pure pleasure of voting AGAINST THE ANC. I have no illusions that my single vote coupled with those of the thinking public, is going to make any difference to the hold on power that the ANC has somehow managed to retain despite its woeful track record, but at least I get to show them the middle-finger in the most diplomatic way possible.

So the big question is, who to vote for?

I’ve been thinking about this carefully; I don’t want to just vote for anyone in opposition to the ANC. That would be tantamount to not voting at all. As usual there is no shortage of choice. There are a total of 164 political Parties registered by the Independent Electoral Commission (IEC) to contest the vote. That’s a lot, but is there any quality there?

Having eliminated the ANC by default, I have had a cursory look at the other parties on the IEC’s website. Some stand out for curiosity value, others give me the chills for what they represent, and at least one has the cutest name for a Party – Keep It Straight and Simple (KISS).

There is an astonishing number of political Parties riding on the religious ticket, mostly Christianity. One wonders why they all couldn’t get together and form a united Christian front. But I suppose it is merely an extension of the fractured nature of the Christian community at large – too many disparate denominations competing to sell the same discredited ideology. I did notice at least one Party with Muslim leanings, but I’d be dumbfounded if they have more that a smattering of support.

There is one called the God’s People’s Party (GPP). But let’s not even go there!

The large number of political Parties with religious affiliations/leanings is rather disconcerting. It’s been a long, bloody and painful journey on which the world finally ousted religion from politics, and here in South Africa they’re all clamoring to get back in again. Has Church [and other religions] attendance dropped so low, that they need their old platform to proselytize from again, and indeed, potential new sources of revenue generation?

Another Party that I eliminated as a matter of course, is the Congress of the People (COPE). The ugly public spat between its leaders for control of the Party, discredit them immediately; it’s blatantly obvious they’re more interested in the power, prestige, influence and trappings of wealth that political office can bring (especially in South Africa with its largely naive political mentality). To go with COPE, there’s the Inkatha Freedom Party (IFP). This is a Party of has-been’s that is slowly but surely falling apart, very publicly. Enough said!

Another which looks enticing is the Abolition of Income Tax and Usury Party (AITUP). Off course, we all know what a pipe dream that is.

All in all a large choice, but unfortunately very little with any decent track record of “for the people.” Politicians, unfortunately by and large cannot be trusted. But we do need someone who have at least a modicum of decency and trustworthiness. Someone who understands that they govern for my benefit, not their own. To my mind the only Party that have demonstrated a willingness to serve the people with a semblance of honesty and integrity is the Democratic Alliance (DA).

I have therefore selected the DA to receive my vote of confidence. If and when the DA decide to betray my trust, I will be showing them the middle-finger too.

Blasphemous? Hell no! Desperate? Good heavens yes!

There was much consternation this weekend over President Jacob Zuma’s moronic utterance while campaigning for the upcoming election, that a vote for the ANC will get one into heaven.

While many people, including Church leaders saw this statement as blasphemous, others were perturbed that a politician, especially one who wields the ultimate power could so callously drag religion into politics when the constitution clearly demands a separation of Church and State.

I on the other hand can distinctly discern not a blatant abuse of the constitution, but rather a pathetic desperation on the part of Zuma and the ANC. Coming ahead of the State of the Nation address and the release of a document by the opposition Democratic Alliance (DA), which meticulously lists 50 of President Zuma’s broken promises, I have no hesitation in concluding that the ANC [and Zuma] are fresh out of promises, and with this idiotic statement are now resorting to idle religious threats; the kind we are all familiar with through e-mail and pamphlets: repent or else or follow Jesus or else.

Promises. Yes, these con men have made them all and broken them all. And now they promise the impossible; a ticket to imaginary heaven!

It’s inconceivable that in a so-called civilized democratic country, 50 promises [apparently there were in reality much more than 50] made by a political leader in public, could be so shamelessly broken. Most people would forgive a few, but certainly not 50. But that’s what we as South Africans have done. We have been shamelessly tolerant of lies and deceit. We have allowed these calculating bastards in power to pull the sheep over our eyes.

We need to redeem ourselves…

A long walk to fiefdom

I just thought that while I’m on a political ranting roll this evening, I might as well slip this one in; it’s been bothering me since I read the ugly news.

While Nelson Mandela had a truly long walk to freedom, the new ANC-government under the leadership (sic) of Jacob Zuma has just completed its long walk to fiefdom. Yes, the ANC-government has truly arrived, to claim its prize, formerly known as South Africa.

Figures released for questionable government expenditure of public funds, in the opposition Democratic Alliance’s Wasteful Expenditure Monitor makes your eyes water, or makes you lick your lips in glee, depending on which side of the political fence you’re luxuriating in:

  • R99-million on upgrades to the residences of public officials
  • R120,5-million on a variety of items, including unnecessary rental space, luxury cars and artwork
  • Defence Minister Lindiwe Sisulu spent about R7-million on four Mercedes-Benz vehicles
  • The total spent on new vehicles by Zuma’s government was now R65,8-million
  • The total spent on parties, conferences and similar events now totalled R209-million
  • World Cup tickets by Cabinet members, municipalities and state-owned enterprises: R135,9-million
  • The state has also spent R209-million on parties and conferences, and a further R241-million on “unnecessary property rentals, hotel stays and property renovations. This included the R515 000 spent by Communications Minister Siphiwe Nyanda on “prolonged stays” at luxury five-star establishments, including Cape Town’s Mount Nelson and Twelve Apostles hotels, which the ANC defended as “within the limits specified in the Minister’s Handbook.”

That’s just for starters. It gets worse better; let’s check what’s on the main course. Recent reports that loudmouth ANC-Youth League President Julius Malema had managed to convince the ruling-ANC government to consider nationalization of mines, was meant only for consumption by the utterly gullible followers of this absurd organization. It’s pretty certain that the nationalization of mines has been on the ANC-government agenda all along; they just needed this fool and his ignorant followers to give it life, to make it appear as if coming from the people, rather than initiated by the greedy government.

We all know, that a fiefdom needs money-spinning operations to make it that more attractive, and since they’re depleting the other sources of revenue at an astonishing rate, the mines are really a no-sweat grab; ask Robert Mugabe.

Now how about some dessert? Why not reward some of your cronies who came to dinner bearing bottles of Veuve Clicquot and Johnny Walker Blue, with some choice appointments (otherwise known as cadre deployment), to some of our finest state-owned utilities; to do with as they please. After all, what is a fiefdom, if you can’t own, and fuck up everything at will.

Boy, are the serfs in for a surprize when they finally wake up!

Gender equality is the politicians head-bashing tool of the moment

Welcome to South Africa, where the politicians spend equal amounts of time verbally bashing each other and frittering away our tax-money, while reluctantly giving up a meager percentage of their time to attend to the business of governing.

In the news at the moment is gender equality; an important and relevant issue for all women and well-adjusted men, but simply another tool to bash each other with, in the hands of politicians.

The formation of the new Ministry for Women, Children, Youth and People with Disabilities has raised the ire of gender groups such as Gender Links and People Opposed to Women Abuse (POWA), but has raised the curiosity of the official Opposition Party in Parliament, the Democratic Alliance (DA). While the gender activists are wondering if this is a good development for women’s rights, the DA are wondering how best to use it against the ruling ANC government.

And in a move that has fanned the flames of heated debate, Helen Zille leader of the DA which won the Provincial election in the Western Cape, has announced a Provincial Government Executive composed of entirely males. While this has women’s rights groups up in arms, the ruling ANC government and its chihuahua-on-a-leash, the ANC Youth League (ANCYL) have used it to score political points against Helen Zille and the DA. To make things more interesting, both Helen Zille and the ANCYL have indulged in a bitter verbal war, trading insults which promises to provide much writing fodder for the press. To further complicate issues, the former military wing of the ANC’s, Umkhonto we Sizwe (MK) Military Veterans Association has joined the fray and threatened to “launch a political programme aimed at rendering the Western Cape ungovernable.” What exactly this entails, I don’t know, but a bunch of decrepit pensioners invading the Provincial Assembly to play bingo, springs readily to mind.

If we ignore all the distractions of the politicians and their lap-dogs, and rationally examine the allegations of gender disparity in Helen Zille’s Provincial cabinet, one has to ask if serving the interests of gender equality (and by extension, gender activists), is more important than serving the interests of the public and province, as these are public office positions. If Helen Zille has picked the people best suited to serve their constituency, and they so happen to be all male, then we should have no qualms. However, if she has picked a man where an available women candidate could perform equally well or better, then the gender groups have every right to demand that the man be replaced.