RHCP as a torture weapon?

Apparently the CIA used Red Hot Chilli Peppers songs played on an endless loop, to torture prisoners in Guantanamo Bay and other secretive prison locations.

Like seriously?

Can’t see it happening. RHCP is like…well… music to my ears. I could jam to The Adventures Of Rain Dance Maggie all night long (No, not Lionel Richie).

What were you CIA guys thinking? If you really want to torture someone with music, there’s a plethora of mind-numbing House Music artists terrorists, or even Celine Dion. That shit is guaranteed to drive anyone crazy. I’d be like spilling my guts after just one song. A song like this would just not have the desired effect:

RHCP should be billing the US government for royalties just like Skinny Puppy did when they found out that their songs were also allegedly used to torture prisoners. Don’t know if they did, or will pay up. But what if we could subject the CIA to an endless loop of Adele songs? That would be payback for sure!

Some timely tips from Croatia and Korea for South African politicians

This week  Croatian politician Josko Kraljevic Risa, running for the position of mayor of Prolozac (*LOL, is this town low on Prozac?) in southern Croatia, with the slogan “All for me, nothing for you,” finished second in the 1st round of elections, forcing a run-off election at the end of the month with the incumbent mayor.

Risa who also campaigned with the alternative slogan “It is definitely going to be better for me, but will be the same for you,” seems to have made a huge impression with on the locals with his (un-politician-like) honest approach. One local, Ivan Vjisnic, commented that “We’re going to get ripped off no matter who takes over. At least he’s being honest and up front about it. And he has said that if things get better for him then they will get better for us.” You can’t beat that logic, now, can you?

South African politicians, take note: you don’t have to promise the world to the electorate to win elections. The winning formula is to promise little, but deliver much. And in case you’re wondering, we’re as smart as the Croatians; we know you lot are going to rip us off too, no matter what little “good” you do manage to deliver.

The second tip comes from South Korea and concerns one of South Africa’s favorite pastimes: corruption. The former South Korean President Roh Moo-hyun, who was involved in a corruption scandal, committed suicide earlier today, by jumping off a mountain. A local television news report indicated that Roh left a suicide note, which apparently said that life was “difficult” and apologised for making “too many people suffer.”

Now, I’m not suggesting that all corrupt South African politicians jump off the nearest mountain. If your cozy corrupt life has left you a bit too round in the midriff area, you are unlikely to make it up a mountain. For you fat-fucks, South Africa has some of the most beautiful high bridges in the world, which would suffice as an adequate alternative. How about it, then? You know who you are!