Massacre of Valentine’s Day

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I take it that there is general acknowledgement that the modern observance of Valentine’s Day is as commercialized as Christmas. Notwithstanding, most people still indulge in this celebration of love as a necessary distraction from the hum-drum of daily life.

But there are those who wish to tarnish and discredit this old tradition.

Anwar Abbas, head of education (yeah right!) at the Indonesian Council of Muslim Scholars thinks that Valentine’s Day is “incompatible with his nation’s culture and religious tenets.” This self-appointed moral policeman expressed his indignation after discovering that retailers were selling Valentine’s Day chocolate gift packs that included condoms which he claims “glorified promiscuity.”

What an idiot? The provision of free condoms is a public service. Religion should never be allowed to come between consenting sex organs. (Yes, I’m referring to the multitude of sexual partnerships, not just heterosexuality). This is the 21st century for Odin’s sake. People love to bonk because it gives them pleasure. There is nothing immoral in sexual pleasure.

It used to be that Abbas’s irrational and irresponsible adjudication was the forte of the Catholic Church. And he’s not alone. Abbas has cohorts in every religion under Sol. It is now apparent that it is endemic in religious ideology in general. Ideologues have for time immemorial been using morality as a pretext to impose their narrow-mindedness on the uncritical masses. It has nothing to do with morality, and everything to do with religious bigotry and the power that having a priestly position entails.

Fuck all religious naysayers. No wait, don’t, not in that way. Ignore all fundamentalist religious idiots and have a banging Valentine’s Day tomorrow, but for Odin’s sake use a fucking condom.

My heathen Christmas

The holidays have come and gone so quickly. My annual journey to visit family is over and so it’s time to reflect on one of the highlights – my first European Christmas.

I was invited by my cousin’s Danish fiancé Klavs, to spend Christmas at their home in Durban – well Christmas eve to be more conventional. Danes celebrate on 24 December what is known as Juleaften, which literally means “Yule evening.” This pagan tradition was incorporated into Christianity centuries ago by the Germanic Peoples of Europe.

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We had roast pork, duck, caramelised potatoes, red cabbage and gravy for dinner. For dessert we had rice pudding with chopped almonds. All exactly as the Danes would have back home. The rice pudding even contained a whole almond which someone is supposed to find in his or her bowl, and be rewarded with a present. All very Danish…

After dinner Santa showed up (a friend of Klavs, and known as the Julemanden in Danish) to give the kids some presents. Santa in the Danish tradition may have absorbed some elements of the god Odin who is associated with the pagan festival of Yule. Amusingly, Santa’s left knee took a bit of a pounding from the kids – all four of them.

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Later we lit up the raisin sprinkled Christmas tree with real candles, not the schmaltzy electric flashing lights you see so often these days, placed many wrapped presents underneath, and danced around it in a circle hands joined, while Klavs sung some traditional Danish songs which sounded rather jolly. But there were no hymns and carols and not so much as a peep about Jesus and all that other Christianny stuff. All delightfully heathen, as it should be.

I did score some presents myself, but was rather mortified that I did not get anyone else anything in return. But I was just expecting dinner, nothing so magnificent as this. Off course there is next year and perhaps I’ll even learn a Danish song…

Admit it, the Pagan Roots of Christmas is what makes it so festive

A whole lot of us, mostly non-Christians and atheists delight in calling Christmas the silly season; I’m no exception.

However, I’d venture that even the most die-hard atheist, anti-theist, or hater from another religion will admit that this time of year is the most festive, particularly those days between Christmas and the Julian New Year. Seriously, you’d have to be pretty psychotic not to enjoy Christmas.

By now, it should be common knowledge [see video below] that the celebrations usually associated with Christmas are in fact of pagan origins, and have been borrowed or annexed by the Church to satisfy various agendas of their own. But that’s what makes Christmas so enjoyable; all the things that are so un-Christian.

I just love the music [yes, the Christmas carols], the parties, the food, ungodly amounts of alcohol, and the fact that we get to spend time with friends and family, who usually reside miles away. And let’s not forget the time off work, the annual bonus, and the chance to spend wildly on things you usually wouldn’t. Only the pathologically pious shy away from these simple pleasures to commemorate a dour tale of religious improbability.

So, whether you’re a Christian or not, indulge yourself this Christmas; god knows [or not] that it’s one of the rare times for partaking in true pleasure we’re allowed in this harsh world.

Shock! Horror! Christmas decorations and wearing a Santa costume is threatening to other religions…well one in particular

I’m non-religious, but even I can appreciate and enjoy the festive spirit, the Christmas decorations, the fat Santa’s, and especially the beautiful traditional music being played everywhere.

The stores and malls everywhere are annoyingly overcrowded with shoppers whizzing around to get in that last-minute shopping, but even that is not enough to make one hopping mad. The rush of people is in a sense wonderful to observe, and be part off [OK, a weird sense]. Anyway, it is good to see people looking far happier than any other time of year.

Personally, I don’t think it has much to do with the fact that it’s the claimed anniversary of the miraculous birth of a mythical supernatural entity. Or even the far more believable pagan festivals it is based upon. I suspect it has more to do with the fact that people look forward to a much-needed break from working for the corporate crooks, or having a little more money to spend if the corporate crooks were amazingly more generous. Perhaps it’s because the traffic is much easier, what with the corporate crooks and those who somehow have a bit more money, all being down at the coast. Or just the mundane desire to pig out, for once.

For whatever reason, people are just a little bit happier this time of year, and it really pisses me off when someone tries to fuck with that state of being.

So, imagine my disgust when I read this report of one Muhyidin Junaidi, one of the chairmen [how many do they need?] of the Indonesian Council of Ulema, a Moslem religious authority, who had the following scrooge-like drivel to mouth off about:

[The decorations] are too demonstrative, and that might incite a counterproductive reaction from the Muslim community.

But it should not be excessive, otherwise it might hurt the feelings of the Muslim community.

And from another source:

We received complaints from a number of malls’ employees who are forced to wear Santa Claus costumes which are against their faith. Such things should not have happened.

We need to restrain Muslims from joining the festivities.

I mean WTF. How is it possible?

  • That decorations can be demonstrative, invoke counterproductive reactions, and hurt someone’s feelings. [Are Moslems so fragile?]
  • For an article of clothing to be in conflict with a religion? Is that rational or sane? What does it say about the religion, or the person who believes such nonsense?
  • To restrain people from wanting to enjoy themselves? Perennial threats of eternal damnation? That’s the crux of religion, isn’t it?

These absurd religious bodies should stop interfering in people’s happiness and concentrate on the losing battle to make themselves more relevent in a society that is increasingly becoming conscious of their kill-joy tendencies.

More of the same at the start of a new year

People the world over look forward to the turn of the year, hoping for a better life and changes that will make the world a better place to live in. People are mostly disappointed as early as the end of the first week when they realize it’s going to be more of the same, or worse.

Thanks to an asshole wannabe terrorist who tried to blow up an American aeroplane over Detroit just before Christmas, international travel is going to be hell for some time to come. And that’s just because the American government, well and truly in paranoid mode again, are going to force the world into beefing up security at all major airports; which means that they are going to probe everyone’s ass for WOAD’s (weapons of aeroplane destruction). This is particularly bad news for anyone of African, Middle-eastern or Eastern origin; you just know that you’re going to be perved at very intensely by the airport security and customs officials. Worse still; now that there is American scrutiny on Yemen, it’s going to be very hard to get the Americans out of the Middle East forever, as everyone dearly wants.

Coming back to that dumb-ass terrorist who not only botched the bombing, but burnt only his own leg (and possibly the family jewels) in the process; he’s now learnt that messing with fundamentalist religious bullshit will only get you burned. Or did he? He’s probably wondering about those 72 disappointed virgins waiting in vain for him in fundamentalist heaven. Hopefully the Americans have incarcerated him alongside Bubba; which should keep his mind fixated on his own ass for a while. If only all suicide bombers were this incompetent, and blew only themselves and a few ugly cars up?

But alas; the recent spate of suicide bombings in Pakistan, Iraq, Afghanistan and elsewhere over the holidays points to this becoming a favoured religious pastime in this new year. Martyrdom has never looked more appealing. It’s pretty much destroying everything in sight (in the Islamic world at least) to become the new religious chic. However, the portability of this fashion trend poses a serious threat to all countries that have already managed to drag themselves out of the bronze age. These religious nut-jobs can export their warped ideological cravings to almost anywhere in the world; no x-ray machines or perverted customs officials can stop them.

How did things get so out of hand? Are we ever going to usher in a new year free from war and terrorism and death and destruction?

Some musings on the Solstice

December 21 is usually the date when the Winter Solstice occurs in the Northern hemisphere and the Summer Solstice, in the Southern hemisphere. While the Northern hemisphere’s Winter Solstice is associated with many pagan religious festivals such as Saturnalia and Sol Invictus, which have helped spawn more modern religious festivals such as Christmas, there’s not too much in the Southern hemisphere that can be associated with the Summer Solstice, apart from glorious sunshine.

Recent happenings however, from around the Southern hemisphere has left me wondering if there is also a touch of madness in the air around the Summer Solstice. And the recent continuous spell of rainfall around South Africa has done little to dispel my suspicions.

Kismayo, a port city just south of the equator in war-torn and religiously divided Somalia is now being dragged back into the stone age by Islamist al Shabaab rebels, as well. The men of Kismayo have apparently been ordered to grow long beards, wear their trousers above the ankles and shave their moustaches. And this, after they’ve already banned musical ringtones, dancing at weddings, and playing or watching soccer. It’s also been reported that al Shabaab enforces this strict form of Islamic sharia law with executions, floggings and amputations. Just what Somalia needs; more religious stupidity to exacerbate their problems.

I can just imagine the rebels yelling at the townspeople ” lower beard, raise trouser! Or else!” And if as reported in October, al Shabaab are still handing out AK-47’s, F-1 hand grenades and ammunition as prizes, then Kismayo should surely be a sight to behold in a short while (if not already); crazy-eyed men in big fuck-off beards running around in ankle-length trousers, re-introducing the grandeur of the stone age to Africa. And does it not strike one as strange or even downright ludicrous to insist on a long bushy beard and no moustache? Has to be some unfathomable religious thing. But, I suppose if you were dragging your people back into the stone age, you would expect them to dress for the part.

Moving westwards, a mass demonstration is being planned by evangelical churches in Uganda, in support of the controversial new law being introduced to persecute and prosecute gays and lesbians. Troubled countries seemingly find ready support in obtuse religious ramblings, to persecute the poor populace and divert attention away from real problems. Perhaps a more constructive use of the law would be in bringing to book, Joseph Kony and his Lord’s Resistance Army, a Christian military group responsible for gross human rights violations, murder, mutilation, abduction and sexual enslavement of children, while forcing them to participate in the armed conflict.

Further west, in Brazil, a man and his lover were arrested for inserting about 50 sewing needles into the body of his two-year old son over a period of time, in what appears to be a bizarre revenge ritual. The lover apparently believed that she could seduce the man away from his wife by coercing him into the dastardly deed, while entering into a trance-like state, no doubt inspired by the Afro-Brazilian Candomblé religion. This observation is born out by the fact that she sought out, and paid a practitioner of the Candomblé religion to bless the needles before the rituals were performed on the child. The things people do through religious conviction!

Meanwhile down in Sydney, Australia, city residents are up in arms over the secular stance adopted by their city over Christmas decorations and non religious greetings like Season’s Greetings, instead of Happy Christmas. They claim they are fighting back against the “political correctness” and “watering down of the historically accurate view of Christmas.” A council spokesman was further quoted as saying “Our community is fed up with this erosion of the true meaning and essence of Christmas through this ridiculous pre-emptive surrender of Christmas on the basis it may offend someone.” Perhaps if they conducted some basic research, they would have found out that their traditional view of Christmas is neither historically accurate or true; they would understand why the council had adopted the secular stance, while not exactly popular among Christians, is correct nonetheless. The celebrations around this time of year are of pagan origin, not Christian.

 Finally back to corrupt old South Africa. Convicted fraudster, Shabir Shaik must be hoping for a Presidential pardon in his Christmas stocking this year, after submitting his application recently. Paroled a short while ago, incredulously due to a terminal illness, Shaik has reportedly been seen driving around town shopping and visiting friends and family, in apparent violation of his parole conditions. Amazingly, he seems to have been cured, perhaps due to the warm South African sun or a good old-fashioned miracle. What’s even more amazing is the fact that the person supposed to be considering his parole, was the self-same person who Shaik was convicted of being in a corrupt relationship with; now the President of SA. Seems that conflict of interest just translates to window of opportunity in politics.

That’s enough craziness then, for one Solstice. To all those trying to come to terms with the insanity in this world, happy holidays.

White Wine in the Sun…or… the Christmas Song

It’s strange how things work out…or don’t. Just over a week ago I posted a blog about how I like this time of year. Then yesterday, I saw a link to a Tim Minchin YouTube video on a members-only social utility website that I frequent. If I’d had viewed this video before writing that blog, I would have probably incorporated it somehow into the essay.

I had heard about Tim before but had not really bothered to give him a listen to. Now after watching the video titled Storm, I am suitably chastised.

Anyway, after watching Storm, I found another Minchin video on YouTube titled White Wine in the Sun, which basically echoed what I was trying to say on my blog post Yippee! It’s the Season to be Jolly!!! Here are the lyrics to the Minchin song in the video:

I’m looking forward to Christmas
It’s sentimental I know, but I just really like it
I’m, I’m hardly religious
I’d rather break bread with Dawkins than Desmond Tutu to be honest
And yes I have all of the usual objections to consumerism
The commercialisation of an ancient religion
And the western-isation of a dead Palestinian
Press-ganged into selling PlayStations and beer
But I still really like it.

I, I really like Christmas
Though I’m not expecting a visit from Jesus
I’ll be seeing my dad
My brother and sisters, my gran and my mum
They’ll be drinking white wine in the sun
I’ll be seeing my dad
My sisters and brother, my gran and my mum
We’ll be drinking white wine in the sun.

I don’t go for ancient wisdom
I don’t believe just ’cause ideas are tenacious it means that they’re worthy
I get freaked out by churches
Some of the hymns that they sing have nice chords
But the lyrics are dodgy
And yes I have all of the usual objections to the mis-education of children forced into a cult institution
And taught to externalize blame
And to feel ashamed
And to judge things as plain right and wrong
But I quite like the songs.

I’m not expecting big presents
The old combination of socks, jocks and chocolate is just fine by me.

‘Cause I’ll be seeing my dad
My brother and sisters, my gran and my mum
They’ll be drinking white wine in the sun
I’ll be seeing my dad
My sisters and brothers, my gran and my mum
They’ll be drinking white wine in the sun.

And you my baby girl
My jetlagged infant daughter
You’ll be handed round the room
Like a puppy at a primary school
And you’re too young to know
But you will learn yourself one day
That wherever you are and whatever you face
These are the people who’ll make you feel safe in this world
My sweet blue-eyed girl

And if my baby girl
When you’re twenty-one or thirty-one
And Christmas comes around
And you find yourself nine thousand miles from home
You’ll know whatever comes
Your brother and sister, and me and your mum
Will be waiting for you in the sun
Girl, when Christmas comes
Your brothers and sisters, your aunts and your uncles
Your grandparents, cousins, and me and your mum
Will be drinking white wine in the sun
We’ll be waiting for you in the sun
Baby, whenever you come
We’ll be drinking white wine in the sun
Waiting.

I, I really like Christmas
It’s sentimental I know.

Seasons greetings. And remember, the reason for the season is not what you’re thinking!!!

Yippee! It’s the season to be jolly!!!

I like this time of year; the winding down towards Christmas and a well-earned break for those of us who work for a living. The chance to spend time with family and friends far away; mostly family.

Everything seems to slow down gradually, much to the indignation of demanding bosses who have projects to complete; but they gradually get into the spirit as well. Not so for retail businessmen; they become busy little bees, and will sting you with their prices if you’re too much in the spirit, or if you’re too much into the spirits, as the case may be. And except around shopping malls, even traffic becomes easier. What a joy to drive to work and back, this time of year.

However, even crass commercialization has some appeal; a visual feast for the senses with christmas decorations nearly everywhere, feel-good christmassy music coming from shops and malls, fake fir trees in windows and aisles, multi-coloured lights flashing, and most importantly, people seeming more cheerful than at any other time of year. And what about the kids? They tend to become more manageable, although a slightly heavier burden on the wallet.

For us non-believers, all this hoo-ha over what was once a pagan festival, is supposed to be exasperating, but I find it all rather charming; amusing perhaps. I really enjoy the christmas carols, even if the words have no appeal or meaning for me. However, like most normal people, I do find Boney M slightly annoying, but Andrea Bocelli or Frank Sinatra singing carols, is a real delight for the senses.

And somehow, people become more generous too at this time of year. Those beggars standing at the traffic intersections usually get something extra, and even other less fortunate adults and children from miscellaneous charitable organizations, benefit. A real pity that Christmas doesn’t come at least once a month. Imagine how different the world could be, if Christmas was about people, rather than gods.

It’s really convenient for us all that the early Christians chose to commemorate Christmas around the time of the winter solstice, incorporating it with pagan festivals such as the Celtic Yule, the Roman Saturnalia and the solstice feast of Mithras, the Roman god of light which falls on 25 December,  just before New Year’s Eve, a traditional celebration for the Roman god, Janus. And not forgetting New Years Day, the traditional day for hang-overs. Yes, a wise decision to fit it in with happy, festive times.