What a Messi scorecard? 4-freaking-nil to the Germans

I’ve been right up there with that German octopus whose been predicting the outcomes of the German ties in the 2010 FIFA World Cup final being held in South Africa; however I’ve gone much further by predicting the exit of many other teams, most notably France, England, Italy, Portugal and the mighty Brazilians.

Argentina’s exit at the hands of the Germans may prove to be something of a relief to coach Diego Maradona, whose head was in danger of exploding from an overload of gross arrogance. There was a time when the hand of god helped them, but this time around they were handed what could probably be their most humiliating defeat ever, by Germany.

For a time there, the South American teams gave the world a lot to think about; what with all of them doing so well to progress into the next rounds of the World Cup at the expense of the European, African, American, Oriental, and Australasian teams. Suddenly however, there is going to be a lot of dejected travellers heading back West from South Africa, towards the South Americas. Uruguay is safe for now, having made it through to the semi-finals (no mean feat), but Paraguay face Spain tonight, and I fear they are also headed back home, come tomorrow. What’s happened to the South American Teams? Time enough to reflect after the World Cup is over!

In the interim, let’s celebrate the Netherlands who are still producing the goods; and I’m hoping that the Orange will be giving someone the Blues in the final of the 2010 FIFA Soccer World Cup…

Going Dutch – Could this be Holland’s World Cup?

Some of the more fancied teams have seen their asses being kicked. The stars of the soccer world have performed pretty much below expectations. The favorites to win, Brazil and Spain have not looked very convincing.

Neither has the Netherlands, but something tells me they could go all the way at this World Cup. The first two matches were won – not very easily, but won nonetheless. They don’t have that many superstars in their squad, so we won’t be assaulted with any preening and showmanship from the Dutch. The talent is undeniably there; and it shows signs of erupting magnificently.

Their supporters have shown that they care about far more than just soccer. Their protests against the ridiculous advertising rules imposed by the tournament organizers makes me proud of the nation in orange…. and clogs.

I’m rooting for the Dutch; it’s about time they finally go all the way.

Some musings on the Solstice

December 21 is usually the date when the Winter Solstice occurs in the Northern hemisphere and the Summer Solstice, in the Southern hemisphere. While the Northern hemisphere’s Winter Solstice is associated with many pagan religious festivals such as Saturnalia and Sol Invictus, which have helped spawn more modern religious festivals such as Christmas, there’s not too much in the Southern hemisphere that can be associated with the Summer Solstice, apart from glorious sunshine.

Recent happenings however, from around the Southern hemisphere has left me wondering if there is also a touch of madness in the air around the Summer Solstice. And the recent continuous spell of rainfall around South Africa has done little to dispel my suspicions.

Kismayo, a port city just south of the equator in war-torn and religiously divided Somalia is now being dragged back into the stone age by Islamist al Shabaab rebels, as well. The men of Kismayo have apparently been ordered to grow long beards, wear their trousers above the ankles and shave their moustaches. And this, after they’ve already banned musical ringtones, dancing at weddings, and playing or watching soccer. It’s also been reported that al Shabaab enforces this strict form of Islamic sharia law with executions, floggings and amputations. Just what Somalia needs; more religious stupidity to exacerbate their problems.

I can just imagine the rebels yelling at the townspeople ” lower beard, raise trouser! Or else!” And if as reported in October, al Shabaab are still handing out AK-47’s, F-1 hand grenades and ammunition as prizes, then Kismayo should surely be a sight to behold in a short while (if not already); crazy-eyed men in big fuck-off beards running around in ankle-length trousers, re-introducing the grandeur of the stone age to Africa. And does it not strike one as strange or even downright ludicrous to insist on a long bushy beard and no moustache? Has to be some unfathomable religious thing. But, I suppose if you were dragging your people back into the stone age, you would expect them to dress for the part.

Moving westwards, a mass demonstration is being planned by evangelical churches in Uganda, in support of the controversial new law being introduced to persecute and prosecute gays and lesbians. Troubled countries seemingly find ready support in obtuse religious ramblings, to persecute the poor populace and divert attention away from real problems. Perhaps a more constructive use of the law would be in bringing to book, Joseph Kony and his Lord’s Resistance Army, a Christian military group responsible for gross human rights violations, murder, mutilation, abduction and sexual enslavement of children, while forcing them to participate in the armed conflict.

Further west, in Brazil, a man and his lover were arrested for inserting about 50 sewing needles into the body of his two-year old son over a period of time, in what appears to be a bizarre revenge ritual. The lover apparently believed that she could seduce the man away from his wife by coercing him into the dastardly deed, while entering into a trance-like state, no doubt inspired by the Afro-Brazilian Candomblé religion. This observation is born out by the fact that she sought out, and paid a practitioner of the Candomblé religion to bless the needles before the rituals were performed on the child. The things people do through religious conviction!

Meanwhile down in Sydney, Australia, city residents are up in arms over the secular stance adopted by their city over Christmas decorations and non religious greetings like Season’s Greetings, instead of Happy Christmas. They claim they are fighting back against the “political correctness” and “watering down of the historically accurate view of Christmas.” A council spokesman was further quoted as saying “Our community is fed up with this erosion of the true meaning and essence of Christmas through this ridiculous pre-emptive surrender of Christmas on the basis it may offend someone.” Perhaps if they conducted some basic research, they would have found out that their traditional view of Christmas is neither historically accurate or true; they would understand why the council had adopted the secular stance, while not exactly popular among Christians, is correct nonetheless. The celebrations around this time of year are of pagan origin, not Christian.

 Finally back to corrupt old South Africa. Convicted fraudster, Shabir Shaik must be hoping for a Presidential pardon in his Christmas stocking this year, after submitting his application recently. Paroled a short while ago, incredulously due to a terminal illness, Shaik has reportedly been seen driving around town shopping and visiting friends and family, in apparent violation of his parole conditions. Amazingly, he seems to have been cured, perhaps due to the warm South African sun or a good old-fashioned miracle. What’s even more amazing is the fact that the person supposed to be considering his parole, was the self-same person who Shaik was convicted of being in a corrupt relationship with; now the President of SA. Seems that conflict of interest just translates to window of opportunity in politics.

That’s enough craziness then, for one Solstice. To all those trying to come to terms with the insanity in this world, happy holidays.

It’s full-time at the FIFA Confederations Cup: USA vs Egypt

Some journalist I’m turning out to be. While posting my half-time report (which lasted well into the second half of the game), I missed two additional goals scored by the USA. So much for predicting that Egypt would equalize.

The final score here at the Royal Bafokeng Stadium, USA vs Egypt is three goals to nil. While I was typing the previous line, I’ve just been handed two Game Statistics printouts by one of the many Volunteers who man the Media Centre; one for this match and one for the other match that was played concurrently at the Loftus Stadium in Pretoria between Italy and Brazil, which Brazil also won by three goals to nothing.

These statistics printouts contain a dizzying array of information on various aspects of the matches played. There are statistics on everything from Shots on Goal to Ball Possession to the Fouls Committed by each player to Match Time each player spent on the pitch. I’m not sure who would want such information, but a big up to FIFA for collating and making such information available to journalists. This certainly makes their jobs that much easier.

I could quote a whole string of statistics on the match from these reports, but I’m not going to bore you any further. There was a clear winner, and for that team’s fans, that’s all that matters.