Don’t send me back to Iran

Having managed to recently finish reading the graphic novel Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi (I’m not a fan of graphic novels, I must confess), I became quite fascinated with the rich history of Iran, previously known as Persia. At its peak, the Persian Empire first under Cyrus the Elder and then Darius the Great, was the largest empire in history.

Having survived invasions by the Greeks, Arabs, Turks and Mongols in its 6000-year history, it could have still been a great country, after having lost Empire status. But it all came apart in 1979 with the Iranian Revolution when it became an Islamic Republic. The events leading up to and after is described quite poignantly from a personal perspective by Satrapi in Persepolis, which incidentally was made into a film which I  enjoyed more than the novel.

Persepolis (Wikimedia Commons)

If it had survived, the City of Persepolis which was built by Darius the Great, could easily have been one of the Seven Wonders of the World, displacing one of the incumbents. Who would not want to live in a country hosting such a great city?

Extract: Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi

Far too many people it would seem. Marjane herself was coerced into leaving by her parents while still quite young, after having witnessed and being subjected to the horrors of war with Iraq and the rise of Islamic fundamentalism after the Iranian Revolution. While she did return briefly after a few years studying in Europe, she eventually left permanently for France.

And another…

Ramin Forghani is an Iranian who has been studying for the last two years for his Masters Degree in Environmental Engineering in Glasgow, Scotland. While there he founded the Iranian Atheists Association, became the vice chairman of the Scottish Secular Society, and is the chairman of Ex-Muslims Scotland. Yes, another magnificent apostate!

Extract: Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi

Ramin is appealing his rejection by the Court of Session for asylum. He feels, quite justifiably that his life is at risk if he is returned to Iran. He cites the case of Soheil Arabi who was sentenced to death for the grossly unjust law of blasphemy in Iran. And just last month the BBC reported that six Iranians were sentenced to a year in prison and 91 lashes for (wait for it!) dancing with the opposite sex who were not wearing headscarves, to Pharrell Williams’ song Happy.

WTF!

I’m no fan of pop music and listening to Pharrell Williams should be punishable. Six lashes would have been quite adequate (just kidding), but unless you’re gay, who the fuck do you dance with? And this bullshit about mandated scarf wearing is just plain outrageous. Modern Iran is definitely not a place to be.

I sincerely wish that the powers that be, grant Ramin Forghani his wish to remain in Scotland. Seriously, bigoted Iran does not deserve such an outstanding citizen.

How dare Paris Hilton’s friend attend a World Cup match with just one joint?

Imagine getting into heaven and all you want to do is sit on a fluffy cloud and play the harp, all day, every day. It’s like having no aspirations to enjoy the fruits of heaven! Pretty soon you’re going to be kicked out; for being such a party-pooper.

Imagine coming to South Africa and attending a World Cup game between the liberal Dutch and the Brazilians who are party animals….with just one joint? What was Jennifer Rovero, Paris Hilton’s one-time Playboy, playmate-friend thinking, coming to criminal-loving South Africa so ill prepared?

This is South Africa after all. We positively love criminals. We give asylum to human-rights violators, dictators, crime bosses, crime families. Hell, we even elect them into power. We love madmen like Mugabe; we allow him slip in and out the country, to shop here at our best, most priciest malls. We allow murderers to report their crime and then slip quietly out of the country, or into obscurity, well protected by our well-greased police force.

How dare you Miss July 1999, have the effrontery to be in possession of one lousy joint? Our Nigerians have truckloads of the stuff; and a lot more besides. They’re allowed to take over, one district at a time, because they have big ambitions and this makes our politicians and top cops lick their lips with glee. And here you come with one freaking joint! You small-time players make us wanna hurl. Not impressive at all. No, no, no.

Is it any wonder our Home Affairs Ministry decided to kick you out, and brand you a prohibited person? That will teach ya; entering our borders all legal and such.

Oh, and since they’ve given you 14 days to leave the country, I suggest you shimmy on up the coast and get some of that famous Durban poison before you leave our crime-infested shores. You won’t regret it; that’s some great shit they have there.