This week I read about a woman who’s been kicked out of church for not paying her tithes. Now I know what most of you are thinking – that’s pretty mean and un-Christian.
Well, you’re wrong. First African Baptist Church (FABC) of Bainbridge’s Pastor Derrick Mike is perfectly within bounds for turfing Josephine King of Georgia out on her 92-year old ass. Once one buys into the whole religious belief thing, one should sure as hell* expect to pay. Nothing’s free (except the coffee apparently), for anyone of any age.
In the video embedded in this article, you will notice that the FABC is one big-assed Church. It must surely cost a pretty penny to keep that monster suspended like belief afloat. Church management are reasonable to expect payment. It’s all business after all.
* If you’re wondering how an atheist can speak of the surety of hell, wonder no more. Hell does exist – in vast parts of Africa, the Middle East and other parts of the world, being ruled by either religious zealots or dictatorial psychopaths, or being torn apart by either or both.
While our cricketers were being humbled in the World Cup down under by New Zealand, our President was toying with the idea of becoming a dictator.
If you’re wondering how these two events are connected – they’re not. It’s just that both our President and our cricketers were a major disappointment yesterday, with the former being a permanent one.
While most will have people laughed off Jacob Zuma’s idiotic contemplation, some of us were a tad bit jittery, this being Africa, a continental clusterfuck of downright autocratic and pseudo-democratic governments. Talk here in South Africa of dictatorship by the ruling circus clown should never be taken too lightly.
Zuma may be a giggling, incompetent, lying, corrupt leader who somehow always comes off as likeable to the voting fodder, he harbours a dark side that very few people get to see. I caught a glimpse of it once on television when he was engulfed by a horde of reporters and cameramen, and I recognized it instantly. He is most certainly capable of transforming into a full-blown dictator.
But why would Zuma want to become a dictator, even if for one year as he facetiously “requested” in the South African Local Government Association summit in Midrand? He has everything going for him.
(a) He has this uncanny knack of fooling everyone into thinking they have a fully functioning democracy.
(b) The majority of the voting public being somewhat credulous, are tripping over each other to vote for him.
(c) He has twisted practically every arm of the law and judiciary to serve his every whim and folly.
(d) He can spout utter rubbish and the majority of the people lap it up unquestioningly.
So why? Is it possible that he senses that the tide is turning and that things will no longer be going his way. Are more and more of his former supporters and lap-dogs slowly but surely recognizing what a huge liability he is?
Daddy didn’t give affection, no!
And the boy was something that mommy wouldn’t wear
King Jeremy The Wicked
Ruled his world
I love cars. Which is why I love Top Gear.
But I soon discovered that Top Gear is not all about cars. Oh no, it’s about Jeremy Clarkson. It’s not a one-man show, but his sidekicks Richard Hammond and James May, proficient though they are in their own right, are like the cars they feature, little more than beautiful (and did I say accomplished?) props.
Top Gear is almost all about Jeremy. Funny, irritating, laughing, teasing, politically incorrect, offensive, shameless, devilish Jeremy. There was a time the only reason I bothered to watch the telly, apart from sport off course, was because of Top Gear.
And now he’s in trouble again.
This time, suspended for allegedly throwing a punch at a BBC producer. The reason does not matter. Producers after all are supposed to serve gods actors food on time… and take a punch or two for the greater good.
There’s a litany of indiscretions that’s got him into trouble before, but the BBC knowing what a treasure he is, sensibly did not let those mundane distractions keep him off the box. But now it appears to be different. Two whole shows have been postponed. That’s pretty darned alarming.
So he’s alluded to truck drivers being murderers of prostitutes, and called former Prime Minister Gordon Brown a “one-eyed Scottish idiot.” So fucking what? I despise truck drivers who’s only mission in life seems to be to cause traffic chaos, and everyone knows Gordon Brown is an idiot. Surely we don’t need to be convinced.
But it’s also alleged that Clarkson has offended various race groups, nationalities and religious denominations around the world, including Mexicans, Argentinians, Asians, Muslims and Indians. Boo fucking hoo! People are just too darn sensitive.
Hey, I’m Indian (South African), and I was not at all offended by Clarkson’s remark about Indians being unsanitary. India is on my bucket list of places NEVER to visit, up there with Saudi Arabia (practically all of the Middle East actually), North Korea, Pakistan, Malaysia and 98% of Africa. No, not even when I’m dead and my atoms return to star-dust.
The guy’s a gifted comedian for fuck’s sake. The world needs more of them really badly.
Yes, there’s a much more selfish reason why Jeremy just has to come back. The Top Gear Live Show is scheduled to return to Johannesburg, South Africa in a couple of months, and I DO NOT want to miss that. It just won’t be the same. It would be Stuck In Gear.
Everything leading up to the State of the Nation Address (SONA) by Scoundrel No.1 the President a few weeks ago and subsequently has given force to the idea that South Africa is a banana republic.
Social media was abuzz with claims that the beginning of the end had started that horrid day. Those video clips of the bust-up in Parliament was merrily doing the rounds, much to the delight of all those who have over a period of time come to despise this ANC administration (as admittedly, I do too).
But are we really a banana republic?
No. And far from it. However, the daily antics of our politicians, especially those in the ruling governing party will not ease the cries of the nay-sayers. But do we have a democracy then?
No. I’m not convinced that what I’m living every day is actually a functioning democracy. At least not in the traditional sense like those in countries such as Norway and Switzerland say (two random European countries. Extracted from Global Democracy Ranking), based on (1) politics, gender (socio-economic and educational gender equality); (2) economy (economic system); (3) knowledge (knowledge-based information society, research and education); (4) health (health status and health system); (5) environment (environmental sustainability).
As you can see, South Africa is not doing too well; way off the mark actually and declining. But we’re the new kids on the block, so a little leeway should be allowed, right?
No. Instead of making headway to improve our fledgling democracy, the politicians seem to be heading the other way. My experience is that the politicians are too busy looking after numero uno (well Scoundrel No.1 The President first, then themselves obviously because the system of patronage must be protected) and they have absolutely no compunction in trying to hide it, nor do they show any remorse when caught.
The levels of corruption are so bad, that when the nay-sayers do label this country as a kleptocracy, I have no hesitation in agreeing. It seems so apparent that our politicians are hell-bent on making South Africa the leading kleptocracy in Africa, maybe even the world.
Footnote: Choosing Banana Republic by The Boomtown Rats would have been an obvious choice for my mostly usual Monday music post, but I decided to go with the other one as this post developed into a rant. I Don’t Like Mondays has nothing to do with going back to work on a Monday, or whatever people usually think, but has to do with the shooting spree of 16-year-old Brenda Ann Spencer at Grover Cleveland Elementary School in San Diego, California, USA on 29 January 1979, who like our politicians showed no remorse for her actions.
Got the day off today – it was a generous gesture from the company I work for as they meant for us to use it to either attend the Nelson Mandela Memorial Service prior to his burial this coming Sunday, or at least to watch the live international broadcast on television.
See, I had no intention of braving the cold, wet weather, security clampdown, ill-disciplined ANC supporters, and the transport hassles to get to the stadium where it was being held. Nor did I have any intention of watching a bunch of pompous, disreputable politicians from Africa and around the world, blather on for hours about a man whose principles and values they defile on a daily basis. And I had very well-founded suspicions that the ANC were going to use this honourable event to further party political aims.
And so as I was frittering away time on social media, I saw an update about the Memorial. South Africa’s president, Jacob Zuma was being roundly booed by the crowds as he entered the stadium with two of his wives, and then again when his image was shown on large screen televisions. This I had to see…
That was the impetus I needed to entice me to tune in to the live broadcast. And I’m glad I did – while still browsing through Facebook on the side off course.
Jacob Zuma is currently reviled in this country for his scandalous behaviour, many indiscretions and is regarded as a cunning scoundrel by many people. This act of booing was the first such indication that his iniquitous behaviour is more widely detested than I’d previously thought. Social commentary on this act of jeering turned out to be quite profound:
Are we burying two presidents today?
After enduring the announcements of the names of the visiting herds of state from Africa and around the world, constant appeals from the master of ceremonies for the crowds to behave responsibly, and suffering through the shallow speeches of dreary leaders, I was simply in awe of the speech delivered by US President Barack Obama. His was the only tribute that was delivered with a sense of honesty, integrity and articulately. It may perhaps go down in history as one of the great speeches from a leader.
That was also a moment that changed what was an insipid event, into something worth remembering. Up to that point, one had the sense that the whole event was being lead in a certain political direction. And to sum up, one of the comments on Facebook from a Black South African:
Obama should have been our President.
Jacob Zuma’s speech was as expected dull and lifeless. His rendition was equally abysmal. I fail to see how anyone could have been inspired by that load of drivel. He is undeniably an embarrassment and burden to this country. It was indeed a great pity that he had to be the one delivering the keynote address at such an important occasion.
And now onto the state funeral. I fervently hope that our disgraceful politicians don’t further damage our county’s reputation in the week leading up to Mandela’s interment.
The most recent elections are a thing of the past. And like the past, they certainly look neither free nor fair.
The tyrant Robert Mugabe looks set to serve another term in office, and judging by his own boasts he will continue to rule until death mercifully removes his revolting presence from the face of this beautiful, but ravaged land.
Since that bumbling fool Morgan Tsvangirai who stood against Mugabe on two previous occasions is most certainly too weak and ineffectual to do something about it, Zimbabwe looks to have two options for redemption:
Dogs of war liberating them in what could be a bloody struggle
Or that dog himself, Mugabe having a miraculous change of heart and returning to civilized democratic governorship.
Even if the second option looks forlorn, it’s about the best we can hope for.
We’re barely into the second week of 2013 and already people who are inspired by religion (men usually) are showing how utterly insane it all is.
A mayor from Aceh, Indonesia is proposing a ban on women straddling bicycles and motorcycles when riding pillion. The idiot from Lhokseumawe by the name of Suaidi Yahya believes that it will save [*cough] the virtue of women and prevent them from breaking Islamic Sharia law [*grrrrrr]. This asshole still thinks that woman are “delicate creatures,” and require protection from the men, religious one’s off course.
In 2009, the neanderthals from Aceh also banned woman from wearing jeans and tight trousers. What a bunch of silly tossers, defending archaic religious laws pulled out their ass by other silly tossers.
Staying on this silly side of the world, another religiously inspired cretin, a self-styled Indian guru from India caused an uproar when he made a statement partly blaming the young female student who was gang-raped, for the atrocious incident. The imbecilic guru who goes by the name of Bapu, believes that the drunken bastards who raped this woman, would not have gone through with it, if the woman had begged for mercy and pleaded with god [*Bapu’s personal flavour of god no doubt] for help.
If that is not the most patriarchal, misogynist, religiously vile claptrap I have ever heard, I don’t know what is. Bapu should be put on trial with rest of the male scum who perpetrated this vile act on the woman, who eventually succumbed to the horrendous wounds she received.
And while the murderous madness involving religious groups continues in Africa with the Malian Ansar Dine, the Nigerian Boko Haram, and al-Qaeda, al-Shabaab and Ansar al-Sharia of Somalia, there was a faint glimmer of hope from Cameroon, with the release of two men who spent a year in jail after being convicted of homosexuality. Apparently they were convicted on appalling evidence: they were seen wearing women’s clothes and make-up.
Yeah, only someone inspired by antiquated religious texts could condemn another human being for something so utterly trivial.
I wonder what these pious prats have in store for us for the rest of the year.
Malawi is practically a neighbouring country, but I had no idea that the new President, Joyce Banda was making such radical changes there. It’s embarrassing; not the changes being made, but my ignorance.
In my defense, I was not expecting anything different from Banda, after Bingu wa Mutharika, Malawi’s former President ensured the Continent’s trend of setting up despots, thieves and madmen in power, until his timely death. Women are as susceptible as men to be corrupt, despotic, thieving and mad.
JOYCE BANDA (Photo credit: Back2Black Festival)
But not this woman it seems. No, Joyce Banda has within months of becoming the new President, made radical changes such as:
Getting rid of the Presidential jet which the poor country can ill afford
Ditching the cavalcade of expensive limousines that Mutharika used to ride around in like a pompous ass
Announced the repeal of laws banning homosexuality, imposed by the bigoted Mutharika
Sacked the corrupt police chief favoured by her equally corrupt predecessor
Appointed a new cabinet (hopefully one that the country can be proud of)
Re-stablished developmental and diplomatic relations with Britain
Working with the Bank of En value of Malawi’s currency
Refusing to allow Sudanese despot Omar al-Bashir into the country for an AU Summit in July
Joyce Banda provides hope that Africa may yet change radically, and rid itself of the penchant for self-destruction through the selection of dictators and madmen like Mugabe. And the fact that it took a woman to start this change is even more cause for celebration.
One can only hope that South Africa follows suite and ejects these greedy, corrupt, inept, power-hungry lunatics in the ANC from power. One would be even more hopeful that a woman or women accomplish that rescuing act.
South Africa is facing an onslaught from poachers who are decimating our rhino population to satisfy the demand from mainly the Far East [Vietnam in particular], of ignorant people who believe quite absurdly that the horn is some sort of cure for a multitude of physical ailments.
Last year more than 400 rhinos were slaughtered illegally, and four months into this year nearly 200 more have been killed.
The Ministry for the Environment announced today that they are contemplating approaching the international community to lift the ban on trade in rhino horn so that South Africa can sell it legally, in an attempt to disrupt or destroy the poaching business. Reports indicate that South Africa may be sitting on a stockpile of around 20 tons of the stuff, which is estimated to be worth around R 500 000 a kilogram. That’s several times the value of gold.
Like many things in life, the answer is not straightforward and there are both pros and cons.
I know what you’re thinking. You’re from one of the first world countries.
But it isn’t this: elections on the African continent are free and fair. Free for the politicians who stand for elections because both donors and the taxman is paying for it. Fair to the person or party that wins.
That’s right. And the politicians don’t have to work too hard to manipulate a win either. The people – the majority – are surprisingly pliable. You, from the first world can speculate why. It’s not that hard to figure out.
The winners join an elite body of rulers on the African continent, the Organization of African Unity, otherwise known as the LAD’s – League of African Despots. You, from the first world will catch them on television every once in a while. They will be in a meeting of sorts, talking about shit that will never happen…. and drinking wine, expensive wine paid for by the voters of the country unfortunate enough to host them.
From Abdoulaye Wade to Mugabe, Mswati, Mbasago, Mosisili, Meles Zenawi, Mohammed VI, Mbeki (deposed), Muammar Gaddafi (dead), Malema (not yet… ruling that is), and all the way to Zuma. I’ll leave you to fill in the blanks. All given power by the people…
Lenny Says 