The end of the world is (not) nigh…

Harold-Camping-FailIt’s less than 4 hours to go before 22 October rolls around here where I’m writing this, and it’s already that in some parts of the world.

If you’ve looked around and can’t find anybody you know suddenly missing for any strange reason, it could mean one of three things:

  1. We’re all evil bastards who don’t deserve to be Raptured, and have been left here on Earth to rot forever by [insert your version of a mean-spirited, invisible father-figure here]
  2. We’ve all been Raptured and are now in Heaven, which inexplicably looks just like Earth. And the whole event went unnoticed; occurred not with a bang, but with barely a whimper, as Camping is recorded as re-predicting.
  3. Harold Camping is a lying scumsucker.

Need I tell you which one I pick?

However, let’s for the hell of it, imagine if the first or second scenario played out. If we’re all evil bastards who have been left behind, it is highly likely that the mother of all floods is headed our way soon. In which case, I hope you have your Ark schematics approved.

If we’ve all been Raptured and are now in a Heaven, which looks and feels just like Earth, it probably signifies that we’ve all been had by the cosmic father-figure of our choice that we’ve trusted for so long. It therefore sucks being us.

I’m therefore quite justified in declaring that you can’t possibly win by believing in, and trusting invisible, all-powerful father-figures.

All that’s left is to wait for Camping to explain this monumental failure of prophesy, which I’m sure will be as hilarious as his previous attempts.

We live in a fascinating time…

Nicholas Roerich "Armageddon"

Image via Wikipedia

Hot news around the world today is that Moammar Gadaffi bought the farm. At least everyone thinks he has.

I’m thinking that Gadaffi was eccentric enough to have had a body double, who is the unfortunate slob who is now actually riddled with bullets. Privately, I’m hoping that this is not so, and that the evil bastard is indeed dead. We’ll just have to wait and see…

If it is genuinely confirmed that the tyrant is dead, it would be rather unfortunate that he copped it prematurely. Tomorrow, October 21 is the eagerly awaited Judgement Day, and it would have been rather sweet if Gadaffi got his personal Armageddon on this auspicious (to Harold Camping and his idiotic followers, at any rate) day.

And while we’re talking about Camping, I wonder what the lunatic is doing right now? Is he on bended knee, hands clasped in prayer? Or is he giving his final sermon to the delusional rabble that follows him? Perhaps he’s having his last earthly meal?

Whatever!

I’m just dying to find out how he’s going to explain away tomorrow, when it passes as it normally does, and the world remains as fucked-up as it is today. My advice to his more sensible (if that’s at all possible) followers is to prepare a noose for Camping, to send him on his way to meet Gadaffi.

That way he will get to enjoy an ending after all.