No surprises there!

Who is supporting the most evil tyrant in Southern Africa, one Robert Gabriel Mugabe? I’ll give you one guess!

M&G, 02 March, AP

Catch the full disgusting story here.

How to win elections and intimidate people

How to win elections and intimidate people.

Spirit Mediums and the believers…

This week presented some rather amusing events relating to the world of the believer.

For starters, I came across the results of the Religious Knowledge Survey of  the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life which predictably demonstrates that atheists generally have more religious knowledge than actual believers. The executive summary of their findings commences thus:

Atheists and agnostics, Jews and Mormons are among the highest-scoring groups on a new survey of religious knowledge, outperforming evangelical Protestants, mainline Protestants and Catholics on questions about the core teachings, history and leading figures of major world religions.

Some atheists have understandably commented that this survey result explains the reason why they are, well, atheists…

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Earlier this week I read that Ed Milliband, leader of the Labour Party in England, had revealed that he is an atheist, just like his sibling, David. Remembering that Australian Prime Minister, Julia Gillard had also revealed her non-religious status earlier this year, I got to wondering how many other politicians were atheist or agnostic. Considering that a largely religious world generally takes a dim view of non-religious political leaders, I was quite surprised at how many there actually are. The United Kingdom seems to lead the pack with some quite famous former Prime Ministers among others Clement Attlee (1945 – 1951), James Callaghan (1976 – 1979), Nick Clegg (current Deputy Prime Minister) and Neil Kinnock (former leader of the Opposition). Other famous politicians who were atheist are Mikhail Gorbachev, Jawaharlal Nehru and Joseph Stalin.

However, what caught my eye while going through this list, were two atheist fathers of two famous politician sons who are known believers, one who annoyingly just converted to Roman Catholicism. Seems that Tony Blair’s father was an atheist and so was Barack Obama’s father, Barack Obama Sr. What was that about the sins of the father being visited upon the son?

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Finally, it has come to light that the spirit medium who tricked Robert Mugabe’s cabinet into believing that she could coax Diesel fuel from solid rock, has been sentenced to prison for three years; presumably a medium security prison. This enterprising con-artist managed to convince Zimbabwe’s Minister’s of National Intelligence, Police and Defence to part with 1.7 million British pounds, a farm, armed guards and food.

Her sentencing is however a travesty of justice, as the gullible morons who believed her ridiculous claims are all still scott free, and presumably still in charge of delicate portfolios, National Intelligence among them.

Mad Bob and Malema’s Excellent Weekend

Today Mad Bob Mugabe celebrates 30 years as Tyrant in Chief (TIC) of Zimbabwe. But he was not always a tyrant; for a while he was revered as a liberator of his people from colonial domination. However, for now, he has set himself up to be a TIC for life, just like the parasite that settles on a dog’s back, until squashed to death.

In 30 years he has taken his country from an agricultural powerhouse to a beggar nation. The country now survives on handouts from the imperialist nations that Mad Bob so despises in public, but secretly covets. His disastrous land re-distribution policies have only benefitted his family and cronies in government and elsewhere. Yet today, he leads both the deluded and disillusioned peoples of his country in celebrations – of utter failure.

Zimbabwe will regain freedom and a foothold to former prosperity only when Mad Bob dies naturally, or is squashed to death, just like a TIC. That much is certain.

Further South, Julius Malema, fresh from taking lessons in Zimbabwe on how to ruin a country in short shift, is rabble-rousing around the country, spreading the gospel of land-redistribution to the sheeple. As promised only a week or so ago, he is touting the failed policies of Mad Bob to any fool who will listen during this latest idiotic crusade:

You need land to do everything. Without land, voting means nothing. You vote and you still go beg

No Julius, you don’t need land to do everything; you need intelligence and a willingness to work to do everything. Voting for the incumbent ANC means nothing anyway, whether you have land or not. In half the time it took Mad Bob to totally ruin Zimbabwe, the ANC is well set to do the same to South Africa. The signs are all there. The tyranny of ANC rule is becoming all too apparent 16 years into South Africa’s own liberation from the tyranny of Apartheid. As in Zimbabwe, the liberator first liberates the country of its wealth, then it turns into the despicable monster that it liberated you from.

It’s quite evident that Julius has delusions of grandeur about being the TIC who presides over the 30-year celebrations of South Africa’s liberation from Apartheid, and re-enslavement under ANC tyranny.

South Africans must beware the TIC on the dog’s back which grows fatter every day, or suffer the consequences.

The village idiot’s idiot, to address the ruined of Zimbabwe

Surely this report on Times Live is an early April Fool’s joke? It has to be. The (woodworking) tool of South Africa addressing the tool-less of Zimbabwe?

Now that I have managed to bring my howls of laughter under control, I have taken a few minutes to reflect on its veracity. If its’ true, then heaven help Zimbabwe…and South Arica.

Youth Development, Indigenisation and Economic Empowerment Minister (whatever the hell that is) Saviour Kasukuwere, apparently believes that Malema’s visit will facilitate

youth movements from the two countries to share experiences and map strategies

***Personal warning to Youth of Zimbabwe: If Malema is headed your way, run like hell!!! The only thing Malema can teach the youth of Zimbabwe is how to become better lap-dogs of your lunatic President, Robert Mugabe***

Perhaps Malema is not going to Zimbabwe to impart knowledge, but to learn some new moves, now that his slimy repertoire has been so brutally exposed back home. Perhaps he’s going there to learn how to “shoot the Boers” and take their farms as Mugabe so effortlessly did. They already know that getting rich through government tenders is so tedious and takes too long. Or perhaps he’s going to learn how to stay in power forever, on behalf of his ANC friends; you know, the guys who cover his back so that his poverty doesn’t show.

But a little bird tells me that the only thing to learn from people with idiotic titles like Youth Development, Indigenisation and Economic Empowerment Minister, is how to totally ruin a country. I’ll bet that the holder of this pompous title truly believes that he is involved in a “fight for full economic independence” which incidentally, Malema’s visit is supposed to be in solidarity with. Modern day revolutionaries – what a bunch of jokers?

Let’s hope that Mugabe treats our village idiot’s idiot, so well, that he decides to stay in Zimbabwe for good. I can just imagine the champagne corks popping at the mere thought of that eventuality.

Madness in Zimbabwe: Gideon Gono and God Generate Giggles

Gideon Gono, arguably the most inept central banker in the world, and one of Mad Bob Mugabe’s goons, knocked off another 12 zeros from Zimbabwe’s less than useless banknotes on Monday this week, in an attempt to re-value the currency. Under the tyranny of Mad Bob, the country’s inflation rate is running in excess of an amazing (hilarious?)  five sextillion percent. Five sextillion? Few people have even heard of such figures before, but that’s 5 followed by 21 zeros!

And if Gideon Gono is to be believed, god is apparently on his side. He claims that the global financial crisis has forced other countries to follow his example, and thus considers himself vindicated by god. Assuming god does exist, bad results such as the Zimbabwean inflation rate would certainly be true to character for him, considering the mess in evidence elsewhere in the world. Worse yet is that Gono believes that his governorship of the central bank is a success, and the people that work there are at the cutting edge of the country. Cutting edge all right! It’s making calculators obsolete because they can’t handle all the zeros!

I don’t know which is more laughable; Gono’s delusions about his competence or god’s helping hand in this fiasco?

Ode to Zimbabwe

Following the latest deadlock in the talks aimed at breaking the political impasse in Zimbabwe, I think it’s necessary (and really so damn easy) to take a last swipe at Mad Bob Mugabe and his cronies; for a little while anyway or until their next act of utter stupidity. [Edit: I’d just like to add that I was inspired to compose this limerick by the Reverend Joseph E Lowery, after watching him conduct the Benediction at the Barack Obama inauguration ceremony on Tuesday]

Ode to Zimbabwe

In a forlorn land, once called Rhodesia

Where Zanu-PF have now developed amnesia

Of a once troubled land just a little South

That was once also ruled by many an Apartheid lout

And now Zim’s money is really no good

They have more useless paper bills, than food

All ’cause Mad Bob has once more stolen the vote

They really need to get rid of him, the crazy old goat

And his spokesman, Matonga is not too Bright

They ought to kick his ass and give him a fright

But that may not work too well

‘Cause all Bob’s lackey’s are surely from Hell

 

The Most Powerful Man in the World is……Black

While watching the most significant inauguration in the history of the United States of America (possibly the world), yesterday, I realized that the most powerful man in the world is now black. It may seem like I’m making a big deal about the most powerful person in the world’s skin colour, but this observation is surely inescapable.

However, the real reason I make this racial observation is not because I myself am non-white (Indian actually); it’s just that this development contrasts with one of the most wretched men in the world, if not the most, Robert Gabriel Mugabe, self-declared President of Zimbabwe, who is also black. So we have the most powerful black man in world in the Northern Hemisphere who was voted overwhelmingy into power; and the most wretched black man in the world, in the Southern Hemisphere who stole an election, and is clinging onto power with disastrous consequences.

But that’s not all; under normal circumstances, most black governments in the world would aspire to attain the levels of honesty, morality and ethical standards demonstrated by Barack Obama, but here in South Africa it is becoming increasingly clear that most of our black government officials aspire to the wretchedness of one Robert Gabriel Mugabe. What a sad state of affairs for all black people.

Everyone’s a Millionaire in Bob’s Own Zimbabwe

Mad Bob's Crazy Money

 

With Zimbabwe’s inflation running in the hundreds of millions, printing new banknotes has become an almost weekly occurrence. Everyone’s walking around with billion dollar notes; lots of them. One could quite literally say that every Zimbabwean is a millionaire; no wait, billionaire actually. Only yesterday, Mad Bob’s lunatic government started printing 100 trillion Zimbabwe dollar notes. Yes, that’s 100 followed by 14 zeros!!! SO now, we have trillionairs also in Zimbabwe. And Mad Bob’s pleased as punch because his country is the only one in the world with trillionairs.

 

 

Pocket Money?

 

 

 

Only in Zimbabwe, your kid’s pocket money won’t fit in his pocket.

 

 

 

 

 

Weekly Shopping budget?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Going shopping can be fun, if you can find anything to buy, that is. But you need a shopping trolley to carry your money in, and a free hand to carry your shopping.

 

Restaurant Bill?

 

 

 

Being able to eat out is always nice. Just make sure you have a valet to carry your cash to settle the bill!!!

Zim’s Inflated Inflation In Full Flight

I read somewhere today that Zimbabwe’s inflation rate is in excess of 231 000 000 percent (231 million). Apparently the government of Zimbabwe (can we call them that?) stopped estimating the rate of inflation in August last year when this ridiculous level was reached. Who knows what it actually stands at now?

I mean what’s up with that? Is Mad Bob Mugabe trying to set some sort of bizarre record by topping one billion percent before finally relinquishing his illegitimate hold on power? Is this guy for real? How is it possible for the leader of any one country, no matter how despotic, to screw up the economy of his country this badly? How is it possible that the world, and more specifically, the regional economic power South Africa, allowed him to achieve such a monumentally criminal feat? Is leadership insanity from East, Central, West and North Africa catching on, in the Southern part of Africa too?

Answers on a postcard, please, to Mr. Robert Gabriel Mugabe, Great Zimbabwe Ruins, Masvingo, Zimbabwe. Just note that Mad Bob has for the next month or so, taken leave (no, not of his senses; that happened a while ago already) to go on a holiday. Yeah, that’s right, even tyrants need a break from the exhausting business of ruining countries and people’s lives.