Rapid Eye Movement And Slow Dancing

They say slow dancing is a vertical expression of an horizontal intention. I guess no truer thing has been said,  and two of my go-to songs (for slow dancing off course!!!) happen to be from R.E.M.

Strange Currencies, taken off the album Monster, was released in 1995. The official music video features Samantha Mathis who was River Phoenix’s girlfriend (and was present) at the time of his death in the Viper Room.

E-Bow The Letter, taken off the album New Adventures In Hi-Fi, was released 1996. The song features backing vocals by Patti Smith, the Godmother of Punk. Lead singer Michael Stipe acknowledges Patti as a great source of inspiration.

And oh! Happy birthday today to bassist Mike Mills.

Zumanomics one and zero one

South Africa is very angry today; all except those who benefit from President Zuma’s extensive patronage system, and those who either don’t care or are too ignorant to care about what happens to their country.

They’re not angry because his knowledge of geography is as pathetic as his understanding of large numbers. They’re angry because Zuma has probably become the single biggest threat to the economy of this country. He’s just fired the Minister of Finance Nhlanhla Nene and replaced him with a little known crony, who failed dismally at being the mayor of a small town.

While the country’s Rand currency was struggling to regain value from an all-time low against the Dollar, David van Rooyen, Zuma’s latest addition to a network of questionable and downright incompetent appointees to positions of power, was being sworn in.

Not surprisingly, the media and others have been scathing in their criticism of Zuma and the cowardly members of the ANC who support this despicable creature. Read some of the criticisms here, here and most importantly here.

The seething continues…

Mystery happiness

On the way home this afternoon, I was engulfed in a sudden wave of happiness. And being self-aware added to my feeling of blissful satisfaction.

Was it because it’s the weekend? Perhaps.

Was it because I don’t have to face absurd project schedules, sorry-looking financial reports and budget constraints for another two days? Maybe.

Was it because of that nice bottle of whiskey in my trunk that I picked up on special at the liquor store? Why not?

Was it because of the that female serving assistant at the fast food joint that charmed me shamelessly while waiting for my order? Could well be.

Or was it a combination of all of these?

I can’t really say for certain. What I do know (or read somewhere) is that the feeling of happiness is really hard to pinpoint with any degree of certainty. It comes and goes with the wind… or without.

What I do know is that I’m going to ride that sucker for as long as I can. Hopefully the whole weekend through.

I do wish much of the same for you and more…

Richard vs Richards

For the first Monday in a while, I feel great. No hangover, and I went through a whole day at work without itching to wrap my hands around any of my Planning colleagues’ neck.

So it’s back to writing about what I love more than a whole lot of other things. Here’s two icons of the music world who are still alive and kicking, one through mostly clean living (surprisingly rock stars do that?) and one surprisingly through raising hell.

Vocalist Harry Rodger Webb, otherwise known as Cliff Richard (that’s Sir, to you) is 75 years old. After selling 250 million records and a career spanning 50 years, he’s still rocking. But he’s also still single and living a clean life hanging out between homes in Barbados and Portugal.

Guitarist Keith Richards on the other hand who survived  5 drug-related charges in the 60’s and 70’s, falling out of a coconut tree in 2006 (on his head), is now 71. And no doubt he’s still leading the rock star life, hanging out between Weston, Connecticut and a private island in Turks & Caicos.

Being about a quarter century away from reaching this age group, there’s a few things I can aspire to. From Cliff, I’ll take being single and healthy… and looking Posh. From Keith I’ll take the hard living… and an island of my own.

Black Friday Special

Cripes! While you’ve been shopping your heads off, mine has just become the number one target for two countries.

Yes folks, the list of countries where my head would be most highly sought after, has just grown by 100%. I had resolved never to visit Saudi Arabia because I feared my (non) religious beliefs would surely see me parted from my head.

But now it seems North Korea has joined the head-hunting party. Reports suggest that authorities are ordering citizens to copy that lunatic Kim Jong Un’s shitty hairstyle. There is a further report that offending long locks such as mine are being cut by university student monitors. Now I don’t know who or what they are, but I’m not about to find out.

Losing my head or long locks would be equally terrible for me.

For Shame, Saudi Arabia

Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their readiness to doubt. Ambrose Bierce.

How’s this for a kick in the teeth of civilization?

Saudi Arabia was last month elected to chair a high-profile UN Human Rights Council panel that’s responsible for determining international human rights standards and reporting on violations around the world.

So what’s wrong with that? It’s old news anyway.

Saudi Arabia still routinely arrests, beheads, flogs, maims and imprisons human beings for simply expressing themselves freely. And they have this thing about women. Won’t even allow them to drive.

I’ve written previously about Raif Badawi who already received 50 of the 1000-lash sentence, and is still imprisoned for the ludicrous crime of expressing himself through writing. Now there is grave concern for 74-year old Karl Andree, a UK citizen who was arrested for having home-made wine in his possession. Karl has already completed a one year prison sentence and still has a 360-lash sentence hanging over his head.

These are but two examples of the many human rights violations this miserable desert kingdom has incurred. There will be many more. One has to wonder whether the UN thinks it’s more important to have Saudi oil, or human rights.

Hillel Neuer, Executive Director of UN Watch frames it perfectly:

Saudi Arabia has arguably the worst record in the world when it comes to religious freedom and women’s rights, and continues to imprison the innocent blogger Raif Badawi. This UN appointment is like making a pyromaniac into the town fire chief, and underscores the credibility deficit of a human rights council that already counts Russia, Cuba, China, Qatar and Venezuela among its elected members.

Update: More Shame

Ali Mohammed al-Nimr, who is about 20 years old is still languishing in a Saudi prison and faces death by beheading. As if that’s not barbaric enough, the sentence includes him being crucified thereafter.

Ali was convicted for participating in the Arab Spring protests when he was still only 17 years old. I don’t know what’s worse – the sick judicial system that sentences a 17-year old kid to death by beheading, or the insane Sharia law that requires his dead body be tortured thereafter?

Da eish*

Generals gathered in their masses,
Just like witches at black masses.
Evil minds that plot destruction,
Sorcerer of death’s construction.
In the fields the bodies burning,
As the war machine keeps turning.
Death and hatred to mankind,
Poisoning their brainwashed minds.
Oh lord yeah!

Not exactly the kind of way to kick off the week, but the world’s pretty messed up 24/7, so what the hell.

And one of the biggest contributors in recent years to this messed-up world is ISIS. Otherwise known as Daesh. It sounds so innocuous doesn’t it, but can mean anything from “trample down and crush,” to “a bigot who imposes his view on others.”

It’s being reported today that Daesh have blown up the ancient temple of Baal Shamin in Palmyra, Syria. This temple had been standing mostly intact since 17AD, until these cretins came along to wage their religious war on mankind. Just last week, these retarded bastards beheaded the 82-year-old retired chief archaeologist of Palmyra, who apparently refused to cooperate with them.

Many newspapers report that ISIS/Daesh follow or practice a harsh version of Islam, but I don’t buy that. There is only one version of every religion, which unfortunately has been perverted over time by idiots like these. Off course religion generally, does not help its cause by being so bloody ambiguous. Which to my mind is one of the clearest signs that the whole thing is just man-made.

As far as the song is concerned: Black Sabbath may have composed War Pigs as an anti-war song, but it works well as an anti-ideology song too. And ISIS propagate a religious ideology that’s about as ghastly as it can get.

*eish. A South African word originating from the Xhosa language to express exasperation or disbelief.

Sowing the seeds of fraud… with John Oliver

With apologies to Tears For Fears…

High time we made a stand and shook up the views of the common man,
and the love train rides from coast to coast.
D.J.’s the man we love the most.
Could you be, could you be squeaky clean and smash every hope of democracy as
the head line says you’re free to choose
There’s egg on your face and mud on your shoes.
One of these days they’re gonna call it the blues yeah, yeah

John Oliver’s made a stand. He’s shown us how easy it is for preachers to take money from people who willingly buy into a religious belief system – by setting up his own Church. Yes, Our Lady of Perpetual Exemption was given birth on live television, a medium so beloved of evangelists out for the kill.

The video above is 20 minutes long, but hilarious from start to finish. I promise, but unlike the preachers, I keep mine. See for yourself.

There you go, I am true to my word, aren’t I? So, are you going to continue funding these charlatans’ private jets and ranches, or will you help shake up the views of the common man?

There’s gonna be hell to pay

This week I read about a woman who’s been kicked out of church for not paying her tithes. Now I know what most of you are thinking – that’s pretty mean and un-Christian.

Well, you’re wrong. First African Baptist Church (FABC) of Bainbridge’s Pastor Derrick Mike is perfectly within bounds for turfing Josephine King of Georgia out on her 92-year old ass. Once one buys into the whole religious belief thing, one should sure as hell* expect to pay. Nothing’s free (except the coffee apparently), for anyone of any age.

In the video embedded in this article, you will notice that the FABC is one big-assed Church. It must surely cost a pretty penny to keep that monster suspended like belief afloat. Church management are reasonable to expect payment. It’s all business after all.

* If you’re wondering how an atheist can speak of the surety of hell, wonder no more. Hell does exist – in vast parts of Africa, the Middle East and other parts of the world, being ruled by either religious zealots or dictatorial psychopaths, or being torn apart by either or both.

And it came to pass…

It was to be expected when self-proclaimed prophet TB Joshua’s House of Cards came tumbling down, he would use all means possible to evade responsibility. In September last year when a guesthouse under construction on his Synagogue Church of All Nations (Scoan) property collapsed killing over 100 people, he claimed that it was caused by a terror attack.

This week Coroner Oyetade Komolaf found that the church was culpable due to criminal negligence, and should be prosecuted.

TB Joshua off course rejected this finding, still hanging onto the ludicrous assertion that the incident was due to sabotage. But never mind Joshua’s refusal to accept liability. It is well within character for a charlatan to avoid accountability. It was to be expected. And so it came to pass.

But what about his followers and the family of those tragically killed in this titanic abuse of trust? Would they denounce him and call for his head?

Off course not! They are believers. And so it came to pass that they would rationalize this tragedy using every foul excuse in religious doctrine. Here are some of the more absurd:

One woman said the coroner’s ruling was “nonsense” concocted by “earthly experts” who know nothing about spiritual matters. The church could not be blamed for “work of the devil.” She went on to state that she does not believe in “scientific findings for spiritual matters”.

Another said the investigation was “devilish”. Yet another invoked the devil, accusing him/her/it for wanting to destroy his bishop.

The worst has to be the statement from a church spokesman who told AFP that it was “unfortunate” that the coroner ignored submissions that “having building approval is not [a] panacea for building collapse”. WTF? How insane is that?

Now that the coroner has made a finding, will TB Joshua actually be prosecuted?

That to my mind is unlikely. He is well-connected politically in Nigeria. It’s no secret how corrupt their politicians are. And he has been rather busy visiting family of the victims, palming off blood money and currying favor.

And it shall come to pass that justice will not be served.