The shit they’re saying in politics #3

Democracy for the ignorant masses

Not so long ago [oh! lets cut the crap, 18 years is a friggin’ long time], the world was celebrating South Africa’s transition from apartheid to democracy, or what we all thought was democracy back then.

As it turned out, the new system of government was just an improved form of apartheid – only now non-white people also get a chance to wait in long queues to vote for assholes of a different hue who take your money and fuck you.

Yes folks we traded White domination for Black domination. Now they fuck you at every opportunity and tell you how good it is for you; how it’s progressing democracy – that magical word that has the ignorant masses in awe.

Back then the ANC looked like knights in shining armour, delivering the down-trodden from the fury of oppression. Over the last 18 years  or so, the armour has rusted, revealing the apartheid we knew so well.

You can gauge the level of moral and intellectual decay in the ANC just by the spokesmen [spin doctors] that they employ to inform the masses about government’s bewildering policy decisions. These same spokesmen are used to placate the masses whenever government gets caught with its hands in the cooky jar. Yes, you guessed it – telling them how good it is for them and democracy.

Road to democracy? (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

One such specimen is Jimmy Manyi [click here if you need to find out more about this bigot].  He’s been caught with his foot in his mouth so often, it’s become his favoured position. Today he told South Africans that e-tolling of our national roads was “quite simply a roll out of democracy.” You could argue that it was meant for the voting fodder, because sensible people see e-tolling for what it is – just another [arguably their most elaborate] nauseating government scheme to steal from the people.

Yes, people, Jimmy and by extension the government want you all to believe that the roads that were built with your taxes, should now be tolled as well, and at seriously exorbitant rates. Yep, it really is fun paying for something twice, right? And you just have to believe that it’s good for you and democracy, to boot.

If you still don’t realise the cost of “rolling out of democracy,” I expect I’ll be seeing you again at the polls… voting for more tolls.

Behold the insanity in South African politics

South African politics is truly insane. If you live here you will soon realise this.

However it takes a special kind of idiot to highlight how depraved it has become. Such an idiot exists in the form of Julius Malema, President of the ANC Youth League (ANCYL), a puss-filled aberration that is a wing of the ruling political party. As far as Youth Leagues around the world go, the ANCYL should more aptly be called the Pee-wee League, but that would be an insult to minors.

Hardly a week goes by without this knob making the most ludicrous utterances about both serious and trivial issues, which tend to be both annoying and hilarious. While it’s mostly harmless, he does have a rag-tag following who may be led astray and are potentially a dangerous rabble who pose a threat to decent law-abiding citizens.

His diatribes are usually about nationalisation of the mineral wealth in the country, or preposterous claims about him being an economic revolutionary, but most times his rants are racially inspired and directed towards the White population. Recently his lunatic ramblings have been directed at Botswana’s legitimate government, calling for a “regime change.”

However, following recent revelations about how his lavish lifestyle is being funded through rather sordid means, his rants are guaranteed to be enshrined in the halls of mega denseness.

Here’s a sample to savour:

If someone gave me a bribe, where is the receipt? There must be paper trail…you can trace that money.

You don’t have a face, you bloody ape. I will explain where you can put your money and it will be stinking money.

Driving a Corolla does not make you [a] politician. They are fake…what does that mean…down with Helen Zille…fools can’t speak politics

They [white people] must pay for making us slaves . we must punish them. And now they must pay. If we don’t, we are paying them for calling us k*****s.

And the icing on the cake of utter stupidity:

Small minds that discuss people and not issues suffer from the mind of a rat. Illiterate, uneducated journalists are unable to reach youth league standards.

Some standards!

 

 

South Africa moves briefly through the Twilight Zone

Image via Wikipedia

I’m still rubbing my eyes in amazement!

Yesterday Julius Malema, that pompous maggot who lords it over the ANC Youth League, stated quite unexpectedly that those in power should not abuse their office to benefit their friends and immediate family. Presumably he was not referring to the ANC-led government because we all know that their constant denials of corruption and nepotism means that they’re squeaky clean.

I don’t know about you, but I’m really perplexed about who he could possibly have been referring to! The annoying blow-hard compounded my puzzlement by demanding that the public should vote for faces:

Whether you like the face or not (of the councillor)… as long as next to that face is the emblem of the ANC, you must vote for that face.

And,

We are failed by individuals, not by our organisation, the ANC.

Really now; had I known that the ANC was run by faces rather than individuals, I would not have abstained from voting for 16 years.

Meanwhile on another scary dimension, it been proven that us skeptics have been wrong about the powers of goji berries. Schabir Shaik, the convicted fraudster who was released early from prison because of a terminal illness, has seemingly made a miraculous recovery through his declared use of those magical goji berries. He’s so fit in fact, that he’s back in the news again…playing golf and beating up journalists.

Man, these are exciting times! Tomorrow I expect to catch my first glimpse of pigs flying!

Inaugural dufus – Nomsa Dube

For my new series on dumbass politicians, the first one comes with a familiar distinction. They don’t get dumber than this, but the year’s still young…

Following the unfortunate deaths of 7 people who were struck by lightning in a rural area, the KwaZulu-Natal MEC for co-operative governance and traditional affairs Nomsa Dube, boldly called upon the department of science and technology to investigate the cause of the lightning.

This daring politician further illustrated her substantial aptitude for political office by insisting that:

Scientists from the department could perhaps help us and come up with instruments that could help community members protect themselves against lightning.

Apparently, her allegedly resourceful, but very strange department had,

…dealt with floods and fires, but lightning was new to us.

Yes, Nomsa, lightning may not quite be a traditional affair, but good luck with your probe anyway…