Cripes! While you’ve been shopping your heads off, mine has just become the number one target for two countries.
Yes folks, the list of countries where my head would be most highly sought after, has just grown by 100%. I had resolved never to visit Saudi Arabia because I feared my (non) religious beliefs would surely see me parted from my head.
But now it seems North Korea has joined the head-hunting party. Reports suggest that authorities are ordering citizens to copy that lunatic Kim Jong Un’s shitty hairstyle. There is a further report that offending long locks such as mine are being cut by university student monitors. Now I don’t know who or what they are, but I’m not about to find out.
Losing my head or long locks would be equally terrible for me.