Songs about driving, through the years

If you own a rust-bucketty old jalopy, I guess driving ain’t much fun. I don’t exactly own a swank upmarket German dream-machine, or one of those super-fast sports jobs, but my car’s very comfortable and has more mod-cons than most. So I do love driving and long road trips where I can just listen to music while taking in the scenery speeding past.

Over the years many artists have done songs, not so much about cars, as about driving. Here is a selection from my song collection:

Drive My Car by The Beatles – circa 1965. I was still in the womb when this was released. I like it, but not as much as I Feel Fine.

Drive by The Cars – circa 1984. The band’s biggest hit and produced by the brilliant “Mutt” Lange who attended high school in South Africa.

Be Quiet And Drive by Deftones – circa 1998. Remains my all-time favorite Deftones song and always brings back many memories of the 90’s every time I listen to it.

Drive by Incubus – circa 2000. Probably the band’s biggest hit, it’s not so much about driving as about being driven by fear. My personal favorite Incubus song.

Shut Up And Drive by Rihanna – circa 2007. Pop music is not exactly my cup of tea, but Rihanna is one of the few pop artists I can just about tolerate, and this song title does have a nice ring to it.

Vivaldi: Sunset Drive, Spring/Four Seasons by Era – circa 2009. This song has probably nothing to do with cars or the act of driving, but I threw it in because it kinda rounds out my selection of songs across different genres. However I do like Era [Enminential Rythmn of the Ancestors] and I’m quite fond of Gregorian chanting and New Age style music.

I’ve considered that it might not be possible to take in all these different genres in one sitting. I guess there’s a time and place for each one. May you find yours.

About Me and Stuff

I’m pretty certain I was born to be a comedian, but I got sidetracked trying to earn a living. Now I just do it part-time and it shows…

However, some people are absolute naturals. George Carlin for me was perhaps the best. He’s dead now, but we’re still laughing. I’m sure you’ve already watched the Religion is Bullshit sketch about a thousand times already, but here is another of my personal favorites:

 

Of the comedians still living, Ricky Gervais and Billy Connolly are without doubt on top of my list of funniest comedians.

Now run along and find your own videos of them…. and don’t forget to die laughing.

Viva la Evolucion

“Che Guevara,” remarked the waiter as I walked into a restaurant yesterday. He was staring at my green t-shirt with the Che-like image and the words “VIVA LA EVOLUCIÓN”, a big smile on his face.

“No. Charles Darwin” I responded in amusement.

Seeing the puzzled look on his face, I wanted to explain further, but decided against it. Observing that the other customers were already happily tucking into their meals, the greater need to satisfy hunger prompted me to request a table in a hurry, instead.

Over lunch I pondered the pervasiveness of Creationism [despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary], and concluded that it was easier and more comforting for most people to think that god-did-it, than to tax their minds with the reality.

In defence of Arsenal

There is none! It’s that simple.

The defensive is a shambles. It’s like watching a bunch of headless chickens running around, stumbling into each other and falling over. And oh, how painful it is to hold one’s head in horror, watching the comedy of errors at the back, week after week.

The regular injuries to the players at the back point to a clear lack of training and focus in that area. Either that, or Wenger has spent a lot of money on clearly incompetent players.

Even Vermaelen, who everyone hailed as the saviour for Arsenal in defense, makes far too many mistakes. Perhaps that’s in large part due to the hopeless team-mates he has at the back. And even though Szczesny is constantly improving in goal, he is still far from the sort of confident take-charge person that is required in this position.

And let’s not even waste time discussing Johan Djourou. He does not belong in any position in any football team, let alone in the Arsenal defense.

Arsenal’s defense does not strike fear into any advancing opposition. In fact, every team in the league must surely be licking their lips in glee, knowing that scoring against the current Arsenal team, is liking taking candy from kids.

And it was never like that.

What’s changed? Has the pursuit of profits taken precedence over the brilliant football that Arsenal are were legendary for?

And will the fans stick around in the future to find out?

Today in Politics: Roasting #05

Corruption? Don’t worry, we’re on top of it

I don’t know if President Jacob Zuma smokes. But if he does, he really must be smoking some awfully good shit recently.

First he mouths off about how our un-broken constitution needs to be fixed on an annual basis [apparently because every other country in the world does it?], and now he wants us to believe that every other country in the world is monumentally stupid because they haven’t yet discovered, and exposed the corruption that goes on there.

Catch a load of this steaming pile of horse shit as quoted in Times Live, an online newspaper:

What we should remember is that South Africa is the only country that has a programme to fight corruption. It’s not being fought anywhere else.

And that’s why you can’t read about corruption in other countries. It’s a reality. South Africa has a programme to fight corruption and it is fighting it.

He must think everyone in this country are either 6-year olds’ [just listen to the childish manner in which he speaks], or total idiots for being unaware that the majority of the corruption in South Africa is being perpetrated by his own government, who are all ANC members and their cronies. The twit actually expects us to believe that his government is actively exposing corruption. He goes on:

You must be saying ‘well done government’. We’re one of the countries in the world that has a dedicated programme of fighting corruption.

No, you infantile bozo, we are saying “well done, for getting away with it for so long.” We also know that your dedicated programme is about fighting FOR corruption, not AGAINST.

Valentine’s Day: Overtime

Sukiyaki by Kyu Sakamoto

This song is just beautiful in any language. It is also timeless. *

Lyrics [English translation in video]

Ue o muite arukou
Namida ga kobore naiyouni
Omoidasu harunohi
Hitoribotchi no yoru

Ue o muite arukou
Nijinda hosi o kazoete
Omoidasu natsunohi
Hitoribotchi no yoru

Shiawase wa kumo no ueni
Shiawase wa sora no ueni

Ue o muite arukou
Namida ga kobore naiyouni
Nakinagara aruku
Hitoribotchi no yoru

Omoidasu akinohi
Hitoribotchi no yoru

Kanashimi wa hosino kageni
Kanashimi wa tsukino kageni

Ue o muite arukou
Namida ga kobore naiyouni
Nakinagara aruku
Hitoribotchi no yoru

Ue o muite arukou
Namida ga kobore naiyouni

* Dedicated to the beautiful women who occupied Kyalami with me this past weekend, to make up for reciting such a weak poem.

Today in Politics: Roasting #04

The State of the Nation’s Politicians

The State of the Nation [SONA] speech yesterday by President Jacob Zuma was another insipid affair. We all guessed it would be, but it seems we’re suckers for punishment, by hoping desperately for something different. The major newspapers thought his delivery was much better than last year, but they also surmised that the more important bit about delivering on promises would be as abysmal as it was after last years’ pledges.

So yet again the talk is cheap, but the taxpayers’ liability leapfrog’s exponentially to support  the grandiose and hair-brained schemes of the politicians in charge, not to mention keeping them in the lap of luxury.

Bastards! All of them.

The State of the Nation Undress

A national radio station DJ Gareth Cliff, challenged listeners to amuse themselves while listening to the SON address, by playing a game of abandoning one item of clothing every time Zuma indulged them with some of the quirks he is noted for, such as nudging his spectacles back up every time it slipped down his nose using a gesture that resembles flipping the bird. Or every time he used some stupid phrase such as “absolutely,” that he is infamous for.

The idea was to see how quickly one could get completely starkers, and I guess many did just that. However I would have played the game a little differently had I been bothered to actually spend good time watching this thieving politician mouth off more drivel.

I would have started out completely starkers, showing him my ass as he started his speech, and then putting on an item of clothing every time he said something that was honest and worth looking forward to. I’m guessing that even the most die-hard optimist would have got to maybe putting their socks back on.

Wolf of the Plains by Conn Iggulden [Book 1 in the Conqueror Series]

Until recently I had been reading only non-fiction. I had forgotten how one could become so enthralled with a good work of fiction, that one finds it near impossible to put down. Be warned – Wolf of the Plains is such a book. It is utterly relentless in pace and graphic in its descriptions of combat, turmoil, pain and anguish.

Wolf of the Plains is a work of historical fiction, based on the early life of Genghis Khan. Even though Conn Iggulden takes some liberties with the historical facts, it does not deviate so far as to corrupt history. However, Iggulden addresses some of these in the Afterword.

The plot revolves around Temujin, the second son of the Yesugei, Khan of the Wolves, one of the many warrior tribes that inhabit the great plains of Mongolia. After the assassination of his father by the Tartars, Temujin at the age of 11, is betrayed and cruelly abandoned to die, together with his mother Hoelun, brothers Bekter, Khasar, Kachiun, Temuge and baby sister Temulen, by his father’s closest ally and bondsman, Eeluk. He usurps power, appoints himself Khan of the Wolves and moves the tribe away to a new location, leaving Temujin and the family to fend for themselves on the cold steppes with no food, shelter or weapons to defend themselves or hunt with.

Temujin and his family survive and he grows up to become a fierce warrior and leader. After many raids and battles Temujin manages to gather a vast army of warriors, uniting the various warring tribes into the powerful Mongolian nation, under his leadership. At the end of the first book Temujin assumes the title Genghis, khan of the sea of grass.

One of the things that stood out for me was how Conn Iggulden does not bother with detailed descriptions of the landscape as some authors of fiction tend to do; tall grass flapping in the breeze, gurgling streams and lazy animals grazing. He leaves that for you to find in the works of Wordsworth or Yeats. Through his expert narrative of the characters’ emotional and physical trials and tribulations, you get a sense of the harsh Mongolian plains, the bitterly cold winters, and what it must have been like living in the times of these great warrior nations.

Having had my appetite whet, I’ve already dived into Lords of the Bow, the second in this series on the life of Genghis Khan by Conn Iggulden, and will report on it shortly.

Arsenal find the net at last

Image via Wikipedia

After four frustrating games, the Arsenal find the net again against Blackburn… and with regularity. Seven times in fact.

I’m sure the fans, like me, were beginning to wonder if the players had forgotten what the nets looked like. All except van Persie off course. He has not forgotten and seems unlikely to forget, getting three more past the Blackburn goalkeeper. And thank the fictitious gods for that.

Wenger is fond of telling us that his team showed great spirit in losing after every disappointment. Yes, there’s great spirit in those pretty passing moves, but we’d prefer less spirit and more hunger. Hunger to convert the pretty passes into goals.

Perhaps it’s time for Wenger to teach his players to find that great big hole between the uprights with more consistency; surely they’ve mastered finding the holes between defending players.

……………………………………

On a more cheerful note, Theo Walcott played more good football in this one game against Blackburn than he’s played for the entire season. Good on ya lad; more of same please.

Thierry Henry also managed to get on the score sheet, returning to play for the Arsenal after five years. That was certainly a real groovy feel-good moment for the fans and history of the club; no less for Henry himself, I’m sure.

If Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain has raised a few eyebrows in his few first-team appearances prior to the Blackburn match, he’s got everyone howling to see him as a permanent first-team pick in the Arsenal team from today. The youngster was extremely impressive in scoring his first brace of goals in the Premier League.

Things are looking up. Let’s hope they continue to do so.