Rant Alert: But it’s juicy!!!

Orange Juice
Image by _dorothy_ via Flickr

I do love mixing the odd cocktail and invariably the recipe calls for fresh fruit juice.

But I’ll be damned if fresh fruit juice can be found in a hurry anywhere in South Africa. Unless you buy fruit and extract the juices yourself, the gunk passing for fruit juice on all major retailers’ shelves, including the over-hyped major supermarket chains, is absolute rubbish.

What the fuck is 100% blended fruit juice or pure blended fruit juice? Since when is blended, 100% or even pure?

Why can I not get pure 100% orange juice or cranberry juice that is NOT MIXED with a blend of apples or other berries? None of my cocktail recipes call for a mixture of apple and orange and whatever the fuck else the manufacturers decide to throw in to create their concoctions. Why can’t I get just plain orange juice or plain apple juice or plain cranberry juice?

If I wanted orange juice with apples and other fruits, I’d mix the fucking thing myself. I mean who the hell would prefer a blend, rather than the pure unadulterated thing? Am I the only person who thinks that these blends are a scam by the manufacturers who use terms like “pure” and “100%” to mislead customers? Are customers even aware that they’re being scammed?

Perhaps I’ve got it all totally wrong and the manufacturers have conducted market research that indicates that people like the mixed up shit. Am I?

And while we’re still discussing the issue, why, oh why are all the bottles of 100% blended juice always so fucking sticky? I remember a dairy company that delivered pure 100% orange juice [only] to my door when I was a kid, and the bottles were never sticky. Is it that the manufacturers these days not only care so little about quality, they couldn’t bother to package the crap they’re selling in a presentable manner too?

Oh, the disdain…

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3 thoughts on “Rant Alert: But it’s juicy!!!

  1. I’m laughing and nodding – while we’re ranting about labeling lies, what’s up with labeling milk as ‘fresh’? What happens after it goes off and the label still says fresh? When you buy milk don’t you check the expiry date anyway? Shouldn’t milk be fresh anyway, if you’re selling it and people are buying it? And I mean, seriously, what’s ‘fresh’? Fresh from the cow? From the factory? From the delivery truck? From the fridge? From the shop? *faints*

    • Hey Nessie,

      Yes, surely milk that has an expiry date some time [few days?] in the future can’t be called fresh anymore. Those responsible for packaging should design the “fresh” label on container to fade radically over the duration of its useability. It should just read “milk” on expiry date.

  2. Pingback: Seven-Day Juice Plan | 4 Real Cheap

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