OMG! Oh my God! Oh my Gawd!

There was a time when using the phrase “Oh my God” was considered a profanity and tantamount to taking the lord’s name in vain. There was probably a time when you could have been burned at the stake for uttering those words.

These days however, everybody uses the term quite nonchalantly, and nobody seems to take any offence.

Its been shortened to OMG for those who find spelling challenging, and are more comfortable at texting seemingly undecipherable gibberish on their cellular devices. Its been more recognisable to rap artists and other challenged musicians as Oh my Gawd. And off course atheists have no problem saying Oh my God, when they invariably use it sarcastically.

But somehow, it sounds so sissyish when used by men.

I therefore would like to recommend that in future men start using the term Oh my dog instead. I don’t see how dogs could be offended; they’re so forgiving of man’s every indiscretion. And if any animal-lover is offended, we could just ignore them, as usual.

It could be shortened to OMD, which could perhaps raise an objection from the band Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark, but they’re certainly not very influential these days. And rappers and singers of very little note would have no problems with Oh my Dawg.

Off course blondes can continue to use OMG; we most certainly don’t want to cause them any undue stress.

There, you see, all sorted godammit