I’m sure you’ve all by now, had a preview of the African National Circus’s (ANC’s) sizzling hot three-ring reshuffle. This amazing two-step back, half-step forward act, has left us with some memorable imagery. In case you’d like to keep them for posterity; that is if you’d like to compare notes when some infamous biographies are released in the not too distant future, here they are:
- When in charge of a floundering ship, re-arrange the deck chairs. It helps to divert attention away from the water surging in through the gaping holes in your bow. It doesn’t hurt trying to fool all of the people, all of the time.
- When your management team have fucked things up almost beyond repair, hire more incompetent sods to finish the job. It might just work throwing more shit at the problem.
- Send a clear but spineless message to all your detractors; have patience, your turn will come to pig out at the trough. Don’t worry about the few we’re ditching. Sometimes it’s necessary to throw out the baby with the bath water. Circus logic is unrivaled; the ANC mantra being ditch a few to create more space in the queue.
- The taxpayers will see to it that those who did not perform, and now find themselves out in the cold, will be well-looked after. The taxpayers are always most gracious and generous, and can be easily coerced into forking out more.
- The new performers in this circus act, will be required to sign performance contracts; which will finally be drawn up when it is time for them to make way for their successors, waiting in the wings to pig out at the trough.
- The ring leader will come out smelling like roses, until the shit he threw at the problem, finally reaches that giant fan which is blowing a hypnotic breeze across the country.
Now if I’m way off the mark, you’ll all be so happy, you’ll have forgotten I wrote this…