Please stop killing our rhinos, hunt down our politicians instead

The poaching of rhinos for their horns is reaching alarming proportions; South Africa alone lost 210 thus far this year. The recent spate of arrests in connection with this nauseating decimation of our endangered rhino species, is probably just the tip of the iceberg, as the huge demand from especially China and Vietnam seems to indicate a vast network of low-life scumbags, being involved.

A friend of mine recently commented that the rhino horn is only useful if strapped on. This is a common fallacy, as the rhino horn is ironically in huge demand, not for its aphrodisiac properties, but for its perceived medicinal value, although, it was at one time coveted in Yemen to make ornamental knife handles.

Orientals who believe in the medicinal properties of rhino horn indulge in the same kind of rabid, superstitious, uncritical thinking as Westerners who spend billions on homeopathic remedies. The sooner everyone understands that this shit doesn’t work, and never will, the sooner mankind as a whole can progress to the next level of evolution.

Studies carried out as far back as 1983, have shown that rhino horn has no medicinal value, and is composed of keratin; the same stuff as your fingernails and hair. Scientists have concluded that you would get the same effect from rhino horns as chewing your own fingernails.

So if any of you oriental keratin-crazy fools simply cannot do without your dose of rhino horn shavings, allow me to propose an alternative: why not hunt down all of Africa’s megalomaniacal politicians, pull off their fingernails one by one, and then scalp them too for a tasty aftersnack of hair-balls. I have heard rumors that Robert Mugabe and some of South Africa’s own, have quite exquisite, well-manicured fingernails.

Please spare the rhino and spear the politico…