The Mongrel Growls Again

In the land of Za, lived a mongrel dog called Lame Jules. You couldn’t really tell what type of dog it was, but a cross between pig-ugly and bone-dumb was quite evident.

Lame Jules became leader of the Rabid Young Dog’s League (RYDL) after a heated and widely disputed arse-sniffing conference held in Bloemfontein in 2008. Some time thereafter his support and allegiance to the Grand Master of Za, became well-known, by the sign displayed prominently above Lame Jules’s kennel door which read “I will kill for Jazooma.”

For a while all was well with the Grand Master and his lap-dog. Except for the odd embarrassing, ignorant growl from Lame Jules ( which still elicits shrieks of laughter from the rest of the world), things were just peachy; even while the Grand Master seemed to be forever on heat. But then the Grand Master started spending more and more time at the pig trough, and Lame Jules started feeling left out. He was just not satisfied with the scraps that were being thrown his way – tender-ized steaks were nice, but juicy T-bones and fillet are better, thought Lame Jules.

While salivating at the thought of the  juicy T-bone and fillet steaks that he felt entitled to, it occurred to him that he would need a place to hide them. Looking at his belly that had grown grossly bloated from too many howling-at-the-moon parties, and expensive bottles of  Johnny Walk-The-Dog, he realized that he would not be able to dig the deep holes necessary to hide his loot.

And then a flash of brilliance, the only one he would ever experience in his dog-forsaken life; mines have ready-made holes. What if he could have unfettered access to those mines? It would be so easy to then hide those juicy steaks.

And so he started growling about nationalizing the mines…