A long walk to fiefdom

I just thought that while I’m on a political ranting roll this evening, I might as well slip this one in; it’s been bothering me since I read the ugly news.

While Nelson Mandela had a truly long walk to freedom, the new ANC-government under the leadership (sic) of Jacob Zuma has just completed its long walk to fiefdom. Yes, the ANC-government has truly arrived, to claim its prize, formerly known as South Africa.

Figures released for questionable government expenditure of public funds, in the opposition Democratic Alliance’s Wasteful Expenditure Monitor makes your eyes water, or makes you lick your lips in glee, depending on which side of the political fence you’re luxuriating in:

• R99-million on upgrades to the residences of public officials
• R120,5-million on a variety of items, including unnecessary rental space, luxury cars and artwork
• Defence Minister Lindiwe Sisulu spent about R7-million on four Mercedes-Benz vehicles
• The total spent on new vehicles by Zuma’s government was now R65,8-million
• The total spent on parties, conferences and similar events now totalled R209-million
• World Cup tickets by Cabinet members, municipalities and state-owned enterprises: R135,9-million
• The state has also spent R209-million on parties and conferences, and a further R241-million on “unnecessary property rentals, hotel stays and property renovations. This included the R515 000 spent by Communications Minister Siphiwe Nyanda on “prolonged stays” at luxury five-star establishments, including Cape Town’s Mount Nelson and Twelve Apostles hotels, which the ANC defended as “within the limits specified in the Minister’s Handbook.”

That’s just for starters. It gets worse better; let’s check what’s on the main course. Recent reports that loudmouth ANC-Youth League President Julius Malema had managed to convince the ruling-ANC government to consider nationalization of mines, was meant only for consumption by the utterly gullible followers of this absurd organization. It’s pretty certain that the nationalization of mines has been on the ANC-government agenda all along; they just needed this fool and his ignorant followers to give it life, to make it appear as if coming from the people, rather than initiated by the greedy government.

We all know, that a fiefdom needs money-spinning operations to make it that more attractive, and since they’re depleting the other sources of revenue at an astonishing rate, the mines are really a no-sweat grab; ask Robert Mugabe.

Now how about some dessert? Why not reward some of your cronies who came to dinner bearing bottles of Veuve Clicquot and Johnny Walker Blue, with some choice appointments (otherwise known as cadre deployment), to some of our finest state-owned utilities; to do with as they please. After all, what is a fiefdom, if you can’t own, and fuck up everything at will.

Boy, are the serfs in for a surprize when they finally wake up!

Just what we need in post-World Cup South Africa: a new government-ass-kissing newspaper

Oh boy! Here we go again. More Indians kissing government ass!

I’m referring to the proposed new daily newspaper that is to be launched in South Africa, later this year by the Gupta family. Called The New Age, it is being touted as an independent newspaper, but according to Atul Gupta, head of Sahara Computers (a rather mediocre range of personal computers):

We will be broadly supportive of the ruling government. What is wrong with that?

What indeed is wrong with that?

Nothing except that nobody supports a government if they have nothing to benefit from it. Ordinary people will support a government which reciprocates by providing basic services, a safe environment to live in, and which upholds basic freedoms and rights. Business will support a government that reciprocates by providing an environment that is conducive to generating big profits.

Only ignorant people, and businesses hoping for a healthy dose of palm grease will support a government that does not produce the benefits listed earlier. And in South Africa, the government is not only well-known for not producing the benefits that are expected of government, they are rather well-known for the evils that are normally associated with despots and thieves.

Maybe, I’m completely off the mark, but it just smells way too fishy. And, The New Age brings to mind images of the new age of corruption that is so endemic in government circles.

What’s worse is that the Gupta’s will be launching the newspaper in partnership with Essop Pahad, a highly ranked political advisor in the previous ANC-government administration of Thabo Mbeki, which was unceremoniously booted out by the current Jacob Zuma mal-administration. Where this miserable specimen (another ass-kissing Indian, mind you) is involved, there are bound to be eye-brows raised; and his reputation as “…an uncouth enforcer of limited principle”  and a “rottweiler” [Andrew Feinstein, After the Party] , is sure to raise the hairs on one’s back. This relic from the past was all but dead and forgotten, but will now be raised again, through The New Age to influence, and possibly regurgitate more of his hateful rhetoric in a daily newspaper publication.

How long will it be before this broadly-supportive-of-government-newspaper is re-named by disenchanted readers to, The New BS. Let’s wait and see…

Hot thought!!!

Religion

It’s like reading the Arabian Nights and then spending the rest of your life shopping for a flying carpet.

– AnonyMe

Match Day + 4

It’s been 4 days since the FIFA Football World Cup Final in South Africa, and people are wondering, even questioning, if the feelings of euphoria and patriotism that built up during the previous month or so, can be maintained going into the future.

While we bask in the intoxicating adulation of the world, for pulling off hosting such a stunning sporting event, there are many people around the world who are also wondering if this was just a one-off fluke, or whether we can sustain the levels of organization, technical prowess and national team-work that went into making it all possible.

My personal involvement in the success of the event, leaves me in no doubt that there is an indomitable spirit that binds all South Africans together, whether we want to admit it or not. There is undoubtedly a willingness amongst all the different Peoples in this country to work together to build a wonderful country.

The problem lies not with the people; it lies with the political leadership of this country. Are they prepared to abandon the path of self-enrichment that they have brazenly adopted, and work towards true unity and equitable economic empowerment for all, or continue with their selfish, divisive and destructive ways?

Maybe the question that everyone should be asking is if the South African government will allow the euphoria to continue?

Hup! Hup! Ole!

Feel it, it is here! You’ve probably been assaulted by that cheesy line many times by now. The truth is, the end of the FIFA 2010 Soccer World Cup is at hand, and it’s hard not to feel something, even if it’s just plain indifference.

The finalists, Netherlands and Spain each have a life-long objective to achieve; Netherlands to finally win after reaching a final, and Spain to win a final on debut. This could be a classic final, to be cherished for a long time to come, or it could turn out to be a damp squib like the others over recent years. Even though both teams progressed to the final in a relatively inconspicuous or uninspiring fashion; one hopes that they have left the best for last, seeing as how the flashy brilliance from some of the more fancied teams, has gotten them nothing.

I’ve stood firm with my prediction that the Netherlands will get into the final and even go all the way to win. Although, I did predict that Spain would progress to the semi-finals, I did not expect them to get past Germany. So much for relying on form!

So, who is going to win?

There is an octopus called Paul, in the German city of Oberhausen, who has supposedly predicted that Spain will win the final. And there’s the octopus called Pauline, in the Dutch city of Scheveningen, who has also supposedly predicted that the Netherlands will win.

The thing is, an octopus cannot predict a winner and never will. The keepers of these two sea creatures in captivity, gave them a choice between two options, so they would always have a 50% chance of predicting the winner. Given the option between choosing either Spain or Netherlands and becoming Pickled Octopus, they would have chosen the latter 50% of the time. The other option in predicting a winner, is to consult a clairvoyant or similar scam-artist, which would leave you out-of-pocket and none the wiser; the octopus make a nice alternative and are more fun anyway.

Which means that there is no sure-fire way of knowing who is going to win. All you can do is pick the team you like and hope like crazy, they win.

I’ve chosen Netherlands…

And so it shall come to pass; there shall be no more bad-hair days in Iran

You might be forgiven for thinking that the banning of “decadent Western hairstyles” for men in Iran, is some sort of piss-poor, belated April Fools’ joke. You might be wrong, for it is true.

Yes, Iran’s Ministry of Culture and Islamic Guidance (no kidding; that kind of bullshit Ministry really does exist) has declared that only certain types of haircuts will be permitted in this holy cloud-cuckoo land in future; after the Modesty and Veil Festival to be exact (yep, no kidding either – that is indeed a festival held in Iran)

This is the type of patriarchal degeneracy that results when depraved clerics, wallowing in the past, are allowed to interpret dubious religious texts and make decrees that infringe on the human rights and dignity of ordinary people. And when politicians latch onto the mad ramblings of these religious nut-jobs, and appropriate it for their own devious ends, you have the makings of a tyranny.

Why they didn’t go the whole hog and declare that Iranian men should just wear hot-and-sticky pergolas over their entire heads, is not clear at this stage; but one can safely assume that that horror is in the pipeline, for when men become too uppity for their god-fearing boots.

I seriously think that we should all be very concerned that a country with religious and political freaks such as these, are claiming the right to develop nuclear weaponry. I’m not comfortable thinking about those grubby fingers which page through archaic religious nonsense, being held nervously over the little red buttons that make things go ka-boom.

A fool says in his heart…

Yet again, I was reminded today by a commenter on one of my posts, of the biblical passage from Psalm 14:1

The fool says in his heart, “There is no God…”

And once again, I have to remind these bible-thumping ignoramus’ that I DO NOT USE MY HEART TO THINK WITH. Please get it into your heads (or hearts if you prefer to use that organ for cognition) that I just use my heart to pump blood to my brain which does all the thinking.

And that’s not all. Yet again they fail to complete the context in which it is quoted:

The fool says in his heart,
       “There is no God.”
       They are corrupt, their deeds are vile;
       there is no one who does good.

Now according to one source I bothered to look up (there are of course others which seem to concur), this passage actually means something else:

Both Psalm 14:1 and Psalm 53:1 read, “The fool says in his heart, ‘There is no God.’” Some take these verses to indicate that atheists are stupid, i.e., lacking intelligence. However, that is not the meaning of the Hebrew word translated “fool.” In this text, the Hebrew word is nabal which refers more to a “moral fool,” e.g., someone without morals. The meaning of the text is not “unintelligent people do not believe in God.” Rather, the meaning of the text is “immoral people do not believe in God.”

So other people think I’m immoral. Morality is subjective, so I can live with that. What I can’t live with is, fools thinking I say things in my heart…

How dare Paris Hilton’s friend attend a World Cup match with just one joint?

Imagine getting into heaven and all you want to do is sit on a fluffy cloud and play the harp, all day, every day. It’s like having no aspirations to enjoy the fruits of heaven! Pretty soon you’re going to be kicked out; for being such a party-pooper.

Imagine coming to South Africa and attending a World Cup game between the liberal Dutch and the Brazilians who are party animals….with just one joint? What was Jennifer Rovero, Paris Hilton’s one-time Playboy, playmate-friend thinking, coming to criminal-loving South Africa so ill prepared?

This is South Africa after all. We positively love criminals. We give asylum to human-rights violators, dictators, crime bosses, crime families. Hell, we even elect them into power. We love madmen like Mugabe; we allow him slip in and out the country, to shop here at our best, most priciest malls. We allow murderers to report their crime and then slip quietly out of the country, or into obscurity, well protected by our well-greased police force.

How dare you Miss July 1999, have the effrontery to be in possession of one lousy joint? Our Nigerians have truckloads of the stuff; and a lot more besides. They’re allowed to take over, one district at a time, because they have big ambitions and this makes our politicians and top cops lick their lips with glee. And here you come with one freaking joint! You small-time players make us wanna hurl. Not impressive at all. No, no, no.

Is it any wonder our Home Affairs Ministry decided to kick you out, and brand you a prohibited person? That will teach ya; entering our borders all legal and such.

Oh, and since they’ve given you 14 days to leave the country, I suggest you shimmy on up the coast and get some of that famous Durban poison before you leave our crime-infested shores. You won’t regret it; that’s some great shit they have there.

What a Messi scorecard? 4-freaking-nil to the Germans

I’ve been right up there with that German octopus whose been predicting the outcomes of the German ties in the 2010 FIFA World Cup final being held in South Africa; however I’ve gone much further by predicting the exit of many other teams, most notably France, England, Italy, Portugal and the mighty Brazilians.

Argentina’s exit at the hands of the Germans may prove to be something of a relief to coach Diego Maradona, whose head was in danger of exploding from an overload of gross arrogance. There was a time when the hand of god helped them, but this time around they were handed what could probably be their most humiliating defeat ever, by Germany.

For a time there, the South American teams gave the world a lot to think about; what with all of them doing so well to progress into the next rounds of the World Cup at the expense of the European, African, American, Oriental, and Australasian teams. Suddenly however, there is going to be a lot of dejected travellers heading back West from South Africa, towards the South Americas. Uruguay is safe for now, having made it through to the semi-finals (no mean feat), but Paraguay face Spain tonight, and I fear they are also headed back home, come tomorrow. What’s happened to the South American Teams? Time enough to reflect after the World Cup is over!

In the interim, let’s celebrate the Netherlands who are still producing the goods; and I’m hoping that the Orange will be giving someone the Blues in the final of the 2010 FIFA Soccer World Cup…