What will fall out if you Shaik the goji berry plant

I read an article in an online publication the other day about convicted fraudster Schabir Shaik’s stay at an exclusive game lodge, in apparent violation of his parole conditions. Shaik, for those of you who don’t know already, was convicted of fraud and corruption relating to the arms scandal and his relationship with Jacob Zuma, then Deputy President of South Africa (now President), was released on early parole because he claimed that he had a terminal illness.

Personally, I couldn’t bother where Shaik spends his time, legally or illegally; so long as it is as far away from me as possible. What interested me in the article was Shaik’s claim that his health was improving as a result of rest and a concoction of goji berries. He was also quoted as saying:

I’m on goji berries now. Someone told me that with them I’ll make a miraculous recovery … I’m hoping my eyesight will improve.

And indeed, Shaik does seem to be in perfect health now, and it looks like he has made that miraculous recovery. The thing is, miracles have only ever occurred in the bible and in other mythological fables, and there is no scientific evidence that goji berries have any health benefits, much less curative effects.

In fact the marketing claims made for goji berries (also appropriately known as Wolfberry) have come under scrutiny in various countries. Apparently, even the United States Food and Drug administration (FDA) placed two goji berry juice distributors on written notice for claims relating to the establishment of the product as a drug intended for use in the cure, mitigation, treatment, or prevention of disease. The misleading claims are so serious, that a class action lawsuit was filed against FreeLife International, Inc, in Arizona USA over its Himalayan Goji Juice, GoChi, and TaiSlim products.

So, what can one conclude from this?

That it’s highly improbable that god took some time out from his busy schedule of fucking up the world, to grant Shaik an extension on his miserable, thieving life, or that goji berries have suddenly started curing terminal illnesses. What is plausible however, is that Shaik has perpetrated another fraud on the South African people with his carefully managed terminal illness stage act, and that our rotten government had a lot to do with it. It’s high time the South African sheeple woke up and smelt the goji berries.

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