Show me the funny…the laughter continues, # 1

I’m often accused by believers of posting caricatures that belittle Christians only. Here are a few examples posted on my Show me the Funny Page:

Gabrielle (20:17:32) : edit

Wow, y’know I’ve got some comic strips showing the atheists being just as dumb, if you’d like to see them sometime. Y’know, to make it fair and all :).

anonymous (06:54:08) : edit

Lenny,

Please do not get angry or take offense at this. I am only curious. Why is it that all your little cartoons are aimed at Christians when you claim to be against all religion?

 And my personal favorite:

Febe (10:58:20) : edit

Is there any comic strips of Hitler , lenin or even of stalin? These great athiests , how about hitlers SS , But Jews were not the only group singled out for persecution by Hitler’s Nazi regime. As many as one-half million Gypsies, at least 250,000 mentally or physically disabled persons, and more than three million Soviet prisoners-of-war also fell victim to Nazi genocide. Jehovah’s Witnesses, homosexuals, Social Democrats, Communists, partisans, trade unionists, Polish intelligentsia and other undesirables were also victims of the hate and aggression carried out by the Nazis.

While the last comment continues to proliferate the oft-debunked myth about Stalin, Hitler and Lenin killing and sowing the seeds of destruction under the influence of atheism, the simple truth of the matter is that there is just so much more caricatures of Christianity easily available, than any other religion. The even harder truth to swallow may be that while believers, especially of the Christian faith spend an inordinate amount of time defending their myopic views, other more creative people are giving the world thought-provoking caricatures which are not only intended to make us laugh at ourselves, but to create social commentary about our ignorance and unjustified fears.

And politicians who are caricatured daily in the newspapers and magazines, are also not immune from the treatment meted out to religion and culture. If you invite ridicule, don’t cry foul when you become cartoon bait. While watching a video posted on an on-line newspaper this morning, about a documentary which was canned by the South African public broadcaster, the SABC,  South African constitutional court judge, Albie Sachs was quoted as saying “A society that takes itself too seriously risks bottling up its tensions and treating every example of irreverence as a threat to its existence. Humour is one of the great solvents of democracy.”

So in the spirit of promoting social dialogue about irrationality, here are a few more cartoons which I have stolen from a social networking site of which I’m a member. Unfortunately they are all aimed at Christians. However, my offer to Gabrielle and anonymous still stands: if you find any material which casts the other religions and atheists, in a similar light, please make them available to me for posting here.

 

Sanctimony, is not a virtue

Yep, the clergy sure are (applies to all religions)

Quite strange why all-powerful gods do not have access to all-powerful technology

So, I look forward to posting some material that is not complimentary to the other religions and atheists, especially atheists.

Some timely tips from Croatia and Korea for South African politicians

This week  Croatian politician Josko Kraljevic Risa, running for the position of mayor of Prolozac (*LOL, is this town low on Prozac?) in southern Croatia, with the slogan “All for me, nothing for you,” finished second in the 1st round of elections, forcing a run-off election at the end of the month with the incumbent mayor.

Risa who also campaigned with the alternative slogan “It is definitely going to be better for me, but will be the same for you,” seems to have made a huge impression with on the locals with his (un-politician-like) honest approach. One local, Ivan Vjisnic, commented that “We’re going to get ripped off no matter who takes over. At least he’s being honest and up front about it. And he has said that if things get better for him then they will get better for us.” You can’t beat that logic, now, can you?

South African politicians, take note: you don’t have to promise the world to the electorate to win elections. The winning formula is to promise little, but deliver much. And in case you’re wondering, we’re as smart as the Croatians; we know you lot are going to rip us off too, no matter what little “good” you do manage to deliver.

The second tip comes from South Korea and concerns one of South Africa’s favorite pastimes: corruption. The former South Korean President Roh Moo-hyun, who was involved in a corruption scandal, committed suicide earlier today, by jumping off a mountain. A local television news report indicated that Roh left a suicide note, which apparently said that life was “difficult” and apologised for making “too many people suffer.”

Now, I’m not suggesting that all corrupt South African politicians jump off the nearest mountain. If your cozy corrupt life has left you a bit too round in the midriff area, you are unlikely to make it up a mountain. For you fat-fucks, South Africa has some of the most beautiful high bridges in the world, which would suffice as an adequate alternative. How about it, then? You know who you are!

Why should we be grateful when politicians do the right thing?

The new government under Jacob Zuma is barely two weeks old, and they’ve already got a taste of the riches that await them. Newly appointed Minister of  Transport, S’bu Ndebele received a R1-million Mercedes Benz S500, some cattle and a plasma television set, at a party last Sunday, as  gifts from a consortium of contractors, who could potentially be benefactors of multi-million rand government contracts.

And it took all of four days for Ndebele to decide to hand them back, even after the President of the country said it was acceptable to receive gifts, if they were declared properly. Declared? I’m seriously missing something here. Why bother after the whole country is already aware of the receipt of the gifts. Of more concern though, is the fact that the leader of the country, Jacob Zuma saw nothing wrong with the whole thing, and made no effort to set an example for clean governance.

Now, the South African taxpayers are expected to be grateful that he did the right thing. We are expected to thank him for being honest and ethical; and the disgusting thing is that some of us did. In real democracies around the world, the citizens wait for an opportunity to exercise their right, to throw a dishonest politician out on his thieving ass. In South Africa the citizens wait for an opportunity to thank a politician for doing his job, sincerely.

Since this disgraceful episode, I have this mental picture of hastily convened meetings where our public servants are feverishly discussing innovative new ways of receiving gifts under the table, and keeping it secret from us, the “disrespectful, inquisitive” public. Are we supposed to strap in for the next five years, and grudgingly count the gifts that are accepted and “declared,” while we publicly praise these miscreants for those that are refused?

Is this the world’s most lethal coctail?

While pursuing the Taliban discussion on-line yesterday, the topic of ancient cultures arose. A question was raised as to why we celebrate ancient cultures from deep in the Amazon and darkest Africa, but find the culture of the Taliban so repulsive. Which got me thinking (yes, that heretical process that gets religionists all riled up :)).

Most ancient cultures that have been kept hidden from the world, are a mystery to us (modern man) and to satisfy our curiosity and the need to learn, we naturally seek them out. These cultures have remained hidden, simply because the adherents, having no beef with the modern world, value their privacy and isolation (and would have remained blissfully isolated had they not been discovered). The striking thing about these cultures is that there is no impetus to force their culture upon the modern world. In effect they pose no threat to modern man, or his civilized values. Therefore, the civilized thing to do would be to “celebrate” these cultures from afar, and leave them the hell, alone. But modern man feels the overwhelming desire to “help” these people, and thus have we destroyed many ancient cultures forever.

However, every once in a while we come across old or ancient cultures that possess certain cultural traits that are in conflict with modern values and morals. One such culture is that of the Taliban; old yes, but loathsome, backward and just plain loopy by modern standards. They are not so mysterious, because we have read and interpreted most of their written ideology; what remains a mystery though is why they themselves have such wide interpretations of their own writings. Such a culture is ripe for manipulation by wily politicians, with self-serving agendas.

Now consider that culture’s evil partner is religion. Nothing stirs the emotions and gets people into a frenzy, like religion. And consider that all you need to marry these evil partners, is a crafty politician. What better politician than a cleric (an  imam in the case of the Taliban); and he has the “god-given” power to consecrate the marriage too. In this combination, we expose probably the world’s most lethal cocktail: politics, religion and culture. When these three elements come together, death and destruction and sorrow, always follow.

Take away the politically deviant cleric, and the morally bankrupt religion, and the Taliban would be just medieval delinquents, with their puss-filled culture slowly rotting away in the stinking desert, and the world would have, not only been none the wiser…but even safer.

Army to help fight crime in South Africa

Just last week an army helicopter crashed into a dam with the tragic loss of three lives. I remember commenting in an on-line newspaper, in response to another reader, that we did not need more modern helicopters; we needed the army to be re-trained to be more useful in combating the tidal wave of crime sweeping through the country. So imagine my surprise, reading another on-line newspaper today with the headline, Army to help fight crime, says minister.

Sadly my initial feelings of joy at having my advice taken seriously (even if it was just a coincidence), turned to despair as I read disbelievingly through the rest of the article. If the following words of wisdom from Nathi Mthethwa, the newly appointed Minister of Police is anything to go by, we are in much deeper trouble than we realize:

“We are at war with criminals.” No shit, I always thought we were at war with innocent citizens!!! Incompetent politicians are, at any rate.

“You may want to release the police from things like cash-in-transit [heists] and concentrate where it matters most.” Huh! The military-precision-style of some of these heists has always left me wondering if the police or army were involved. Thanks Minister, for confirming that the police at least are involved, and that you now want the army to take over.

“If you look at international trends, the job of securing the country is done by the army …” Duh! Well beat me with a paddle for thinking that the job of securing the country was done by the Pensioners Tea Club.

“Improving crime intelligence was also key.” Damn, and I always thought that recruiting more intelligent cops, was the key to solving crime.

“If [criminals] know that you are very weak and can’t manage crime scenes, that encourages [them to] get away with murder.” No kidding, now why didn’t the cops think of this before. Who knows how many criminals they could have discouraged by now?

“Without improving and enhancing our capacity technology, we are nowhere.” Jeez, no wonder they pay you the big bucks!!! We would never have figured that out, without you.

Come on Minister, enough with the dreary rhetoric. let’s catch some criminals already…

The growing chasm between science and religion

The idea for this blog came from a discussion posted by a fellow-atheist on a social networking site, where he expressed his amazement at watching two radically different clips on television; one was about humans walking in space and carrying out repairs to the Hubble space telescope, while in the other clip, the Taliban were busy tearing up the picturesque Swat Valley in Pakistan, to impose upon other humans, a repressive ideology born in the dark ages.

For any rational person, these two contrasting images being shown on television, boggles the mind. It is hard to come to terms with the staggering gulf between the scientific and religious mentality that produces these two sets of actions. While science is boldly taking man to new frontiers, the Taliban are engrossed in taking man back in time.

According to some sources the Taliban have banned in Afghanistan, employment, education and sports for women, movies, television, videos, music, dancing, hanging pictures in homes, clapping during sports events, kite flying, and beard trimming. Other prohibitions include pork, pig, pig oil, anything made from human hair, satellite dishes, cinematography, and equipment that produces the joy of music, pool tables, chess, masks, alcohol, tapes, computers, VCRs, television, anything that propagates sex and is full of music, wine, lobster, nail polish, firecrackers, statues, sewing catalogs, pictures and Christmas cards. *Ok, I can understand Christmas Cards. 🙂

Simply amazing. It’s almost as if these Taliban are a totally different species of human; one with a debilitating genetic mutation that has transported the mind back to the 8th century.

Gender equality is the politicians head-bashing tool of the moment

Welcome to South Africa, where the politicians spend equal amounts of time verbally bashing each other and frittering away our tax-money, while reluctantly giving up a meager percentage of their time to attend to the business of governing.

In the news at the moment is gender equality; an important and relevant issue for all women and well-adjusted men, but simply another tool to bash each other with, in the hands of politicians.

The formation of the new Ministry for Women, Children, Youth and People with Disabilities has raised the ire of gender groups such as Gender Links and People Opposed to Women Abuse (POWA), but has raised the curiosity of the official Opposition Party in Parliament, the Democratic Alliance (DA). While the gender activists are wondering if this is a good development for women’s rights, the DA are wondering how best to use it against the ruling ANC government.

And in a move that has fanned the flames of heated debate, Helen Zille leader of the DA which won the Provincial election in the Western Cape, has announced a Provincial Government Executive composed of entirely males. While this has women’s rights groups up in arms, the ruling ANC government and its chihuahua-on-a-leash, the ANC Youth League (ANCYL) have used it to score political points against Helen Zille and the DA. To make things more interesting, both Helen Zille and the ANCYL have indulged in a bitter verbal war, trading insults which promises to provide much writing fodder for the press. To further complicate issues, the former military wing of the ANC’s, Umkhonto we Sizwe (MK) Military Veterans Association has joined the fray and threatened to “launch a political programme aimed at rendering the Western Cape ungovernable.” What exactly this entails, I don’t know, but a bunch of decrepit pensioners invading the Provincial Assembly to play bingo, springs readily to mind.

If we ignore all the distractions of the politicians and their lap-dogs, and rationally examine the allegations of gender disparity in Helen Zille’s Provincial cabinet, one has to ask if serving the interests of gender equality (and by extension, gender activists), is more important than serving the interests of the public and province, as these are public office positions. If Helen Zille has picked the people best suited to serve their constituency, and they so happen to be all male, then we should have no qualms. However, if she has picked a man where an available women candidate could perform equally well or better, then the gender groups have every right to demand that the man be replaced.

The need to question vs. the need to believe

Every time I receive an e-mail from someone religious, I have this mental picture of a great toggle switch located in the human brain. This switch can be set to one of two positions:

• The need to question (because it is natural)
• The need to believe (because it is comfortable)

I suppose that when we are born, the switch is set to The need to question by default. As we grow older, and are exposed to religious (or even other) ideology, the switch either toggles over to The need to believe, or stays put in the default position. Sometimes, some of us are able to overcome the mind virus that causes the switch over, and manage to re-set the switch back to its default position; however a great majority are only too happy to remain switched over to The need to believe.

The latest example of people afflicted with this unnatural switch position, was provided to me by the sender of an e-mail this weekend, titled God is Great, which purportedly portrays photographs of natural formations, and further asserts in the contents that, We Serve An Awesome God. Obviously this was not the work of the sender, but of someone else; however the sender displayed his Need to believe, by forwarding without any scrutiny:

god's teddy bear

Even a cursory examination would lead a person to question the photograph; a person who has his switch set to The need to question, that is. So, I questioned, and pulled the proverbial rabbit out of the hat. I found the photograph below which should always accompany this one, as a set.

Apparently god's rabbit

Fact: the above two photographs are stills taken from the 2001 French film, Amelie, and are exposed as fakes by Snopes.com. The simple truth is that the original composer, by not including this photograph in the God is Great e-mail, either intended to deliberately mislead (as a prank), or deliberately lie to promote his religious cause, knowing that there are willing people out there, switched to The need to believe.

Consider the following example, also contained in the e-mail, and which I have exposed in a previous post. The original is the one further below, without the “hands.” And surprise! Does not appear in the mail.

god's hands (allegedly)

Un-doctored cloud photograph

Finally, this photograph which accompanied the other two exposed (no pun intended) photographs above, is so obvious, it just screams “I am fake, stupid.”

Supposedly, god's sleeping cat

So, tell me, which way is your switch toggled; The need to question or The need to believe?

And the swine flew in…

Following the recent general elections, South Africa is preparing for the inauguration of Jacob Zuma on Saturday, as the new President. By all accounts, the inauguration bash is set to cost in the region of 75-million rands, and seems rather extravagant for the tough economic times we are facing.

However, what is bothering me more is that it seems that every despot north of Pretoria, most notably one Robert Gabriel Mugabe, has been invited to blight our fair land with their human-rights-violating, presence. And it does not seem as if any leader of  note from the democratic first world, is set to attend. Don’t expect the Dalai Lama either.

And so we wait for the swine to fly in; to pig out at the inauguration trough.

A nice change from the usual religious hate e-mail I get

Normally I receive religious e-mail that threatens me with all sorts of horrible punishments for not believing in god or Jesus.  Or, they are extremely condescending sales pitches for a religion, and appear disguised as motivational prose or clever anecdotes, usually accompanied by breathtaking pictures. Yes, you’ve seen them too!

The threatening and pseudo-motivational ones are invariably from Christians, even Muslims, but the e-mails from Hindu’s are revoltingly superstitious in nature and suggest that your luck will take a turn for the worse, if you either don’t do something such as pray or fast; or more absurdly, refuse to forward the mail to x-number of persons within a certain time period. For some reason I don’t receive any religious e-mails from Jews or Buddhists (to their credit); perhaps because the former are part of an exclusive club, and the latter are not really religious.

I was therefore pleasantly surprized, when I received the following piece of poetry which is clearly from a Christian source, but which does not threaten or insult my atheist status. As a matter of fact, it seems to chide Christians, but could apply equally well to persons of all religions; even atheists. ***Note: I personally don’t think it’s the best poem in the world; it’s just titled that way in the e-mail***

Best Poem in the World

                           I was shocked, confused, bewildered
                           As I entered Heaven’s door,
                          Not by the beauty of it all,
                          Nor the lights or its decor.

                         But it was the folks in Heaven
                         Who made me sputter and gasp–
                      The thieves, the liars, the sinners,
                          The alcoholics and the trash.

                     There stood the kid from seventh grade
                        Who swiped my lunch money twice.
                         Next to him was my old neighbor
                          Who never said anything nice.

                           Herb, who I always thought
                            Was rotting away in hell,
                        Was sitting pretty on cloud nine,
                            Looking incredibly well.

                        I nudged Jesus, ‘What’s the deal?
                         I would love to hear Your take.
                      How’d all these sinners get up here?
                           God must’ve made a mistake.

                          ‘And why’s everyone so quiet,
                          So sombre – give me a clue.’
                 ‘Hush, child,’ He said, ‘they’re all in shock.
                      No one thought they’d be seeing you.’

                                   JUDGE NOT.

          Remember…Just going to church doesn’t make you a Christian
             any more than standing in your garage makes you a car .

                           Every saint has a PAST….
                           Every sinner has a FUTURE!

 And, while the conclusion is “cute,” I prefer to think of myself as neither a saint nor sinner, but just a human being; and more importantly, I care not for the past nor the future, but the present, which I have control over.