Once every four years or so, South Africa’s finest “political” acts crawl out from under great big slimy rocks where they have been hibernating (well, actually living it up on their ill-gotten gains), to take to the stage and act out a grand farce known as the Elections. This year a fantastical collection of 117 National acts and and a motley assortment of local and regional acts (39 or so) are jostling for centre stage, trying their utmost to showcase their outrageous talents for lying, conniving, cheating, backstabbing and not forgetting the customary ass-kissing.
You will not have seen or heard from some of these acts for quite a while; four years in fact. But here they are for the next few months, right in your face, promising the same shit they did the last time, only this time they have “a better plan to make it happen.” You will notice some familiar faces from the past, only this time they have been recruited by another act. Same faces, different acts, same promises, slightly different tactics; the same sorry result – disappointment.
The leading acts have wasted no time in “putting on a show.” The ANC this week held a rally in Chatsworth, which resulted in the injury of 63 supporters who were stampeded by crowds trying to get into a stadium. A look at the pictures in an on-line newspaper reveals mostly African supporters present at the stadium, which is strange considering that Chatsworth is an Indian settlement. Presumably, all the Indians were attending a free lunch and concert at the local beach, sponsored by the Minority Front. Another look at the pictures of hapless supporters sprawled on the ground after the melee, reminds one that Julius Malema was perhaps on the mark when he commented that “we will die for Zuma,” but perhaps “we will be stampeded first” is more likely.
Meanwhile, Allan Boesak of Cope has taken to the stage claiming that his conviction for fraud should be “overlooked” as he did it for the struggle. Seems that all the other acts were too busy making fools of themselves to take notice. Else we will by now have heard all the other fraudsters from various other acts claiming the same. And in other news, Helen Zille, the champion of rich white minority rights has also been busy showcasing her talents for comedic debate, with the leader of the ANC Youth League, whose unfortunate attempts at woodwork has not helped his appreciation of good humor.
As far as some of the other acts are concerned, the Keep it Straight and Simple Party has so far managed to stay out of the limelight, presumably keeping it simple, until they don’t have to any more. And what about the goofy assortment of religious acts such as The African Christian Alliance, Africa Muslim Party, African Christian Democratic Party, African Nazareth Democratic Movement, Christian Democratic Front, Christian Democratic Alliance, National Christian Democratic Party, ChristenParty/Christian Party, Divine Kingdom Party, God’s People’s Party (???), Christian Front (not democratic?); man this list is long. Any idea why religious acts feel the need to become political acts? The less said about this lot, the better.
All of this from just a few of the top acts in this year’s election circus. I unfortunately have not had the time (or patience) to catch up on the antics of all the minor acts, but you can be rest assured that they will reveal themselves in time. Just sit back and enjoy the show…